Search results

I've been reading some of your earlier stuff, and there was one entry from Jan. that really struck a chord - about not being liked, and thinking because people were whispering that they were whispering about me. I can so relate. Being bullied really stinks.

I get this too, but I cock my head to the left side, as though I'm "hiding" from an intruder or something that makes me feel unsafe.

Hi. Bullied as a kid, pretty severely. Now I have hypervigilance and don't feel safe very often. I look over my shoulder at times if I hear someone's footsteps... there is more, but not the point of this thread. When it is winter (I'm in a cold climate) I feel safe. The days are short and...

I was bullied too, Russ. Much like you. Boots were a way to reclaim my masculinity. I get it.

Or Wackoville, but spelled like: Waquoville Heights.

Lol, alba. I've had success so far with being outside and with not looking at the neighbors' house when I drive by. They had a ... are you ready... A NEW CARDBOARD BOX in their yard. At first it threw me for a loop. They must be planning something. They are putting up a fence. It has a...

Amen, brother scout. Hey, if you need a neighbor, you can move next to me. I think we booted, horse-loving guys would get along very well! Now I get it. Have fun with it. Ahhh... I'm good at that! But, boy, that house at the end of the dead-end road DOES sound rather peaceful! OK...

Thanks for the additional information and thoughts, all of you. I have been doing some serious thinking over the past 24 hours at how much time I spend on thinking about strangers' lives. I don't know my neighbors, but I'm afraid that they are going to "get" me somehow or invade my space...

Loner - this is exactly what my therapist has been working on with me! And it totally does work. But... if I forget (or don't allow myself) to do this, I go in the evil downward spiral of trouble and doom. This happened this past Sunday. Long story, but my older son was in Special...

Thanks Alb :) and thanks for making the time to think about it for me. I AM doing some of the stuff you say. My therapist has started me on going outside for 5 minutes a day - not to do work or to monitor the safety of my world, but to try to live in the present and appreciate what is going...

@Loner: I totally agree that I'm spending far too much energy on them, but I just don't know how to hit the "off" button. I've tried this and that, and just can't shake the vicious cycle. @albatross: I am trying to control my environment because that is what I have done for 43 years. I...

I'm posting this separately to the reply to scout. You all have given me quite a bit to think about here. I really really appreciate what you have told me. It has certainly given me a LOT to think about. Yes, I do realize that they aren't doing anything wrong or illegal with their hammock...

Again, scout, you and I are two peas in a pod. I live in a small town/village, and I really don't like having people next to me. I just want my space. That is the way I am.

I am in therapy, and have been for a year. I was bullied as a kid and PTSD manifests itself in fear of the unfamiliar - especially people I don't know but can't escape from - NEIGHBORS. We got these two ladies next to us. They are actually pretty quiet. But the one is the loud city-girl type...

Even if you have never run before, the couch to 5 k (c25k) is a great program!

AWFUL!!!!!!!!!!! Any unexpected noise drives me into a TOTAL hypervigilance mode that is exhausting and well, just TERRIBLE. Noise invades my space, and I was someone who endured a lot of bullying when I was a kid. Thankfully I have a therapist. The orange earplugs are GREAT. But, they...

Running worked wonders for me last year. I lost both my parents, and it was something to give me purpose! (I also find the same "good stuff" in horseback riding.

I've been away for a week. My therapist suggested going outside for 5 minutes and enjoying what is out there (aka desensitization therapy). OK fine. I can do this. And I keep telling myself "I am safe." That works well too. Of course yesterday was Easter and I got home from church, tired...

When I exercise, especially when I go horseback riding, I find that I am mostly, if not totally, able to function normally for the rest of the day. I have such a positive time with my horse that ... well, I can't explain it. It's just almost euphoric. I wish I could go riding every day.

Teased and bullied mercilessly as a child, but no sexual abuse, thank God.

Woohoo!!!!!! :)

Different pair, same idea. These are drovers by Nocona. Heels are lower than the Olathes.

Hi Scout. We are two peas. I'm the same way. This is the pointiest pair I have, and one pair of these is enough. Where I come from NO one wears boots, so I wear what I want. I don't like square toes either :) Wear what you want - just because it is trendy doesn't mean you have to conform...

You are welcome! I have tried to "sit" rather than run and investigate in the past, but now I have a name, or validation, or something that gives me some ideas how to handle the situation!

See, solara, you have helped two of us today! It is so hard NOT to react, though. I just want to RUN and investigate and and and put a stop to the noise. For you, scout - a bad photo of the boots I have on today... at least you get the idea.