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I hadn't heard from him yesterday after asking him to check in. So I messaged his sister asking if she's heard from him because he hasn't replied to me when usually he does. No....she hasn't heard from him for a few days. I call him, it goes straight to voicemail. I use my daughter's phone to...

Hugs, and sorry for your loss. ❤️ Don't beat yourself up for something you had no control over. You were a young girl. I'm a spiritual person and I believe that all babes, no matter how their earthly journeys ended, are returned to the arms of their mothers.

He does have a therapist, we spent a lot of time talking about that. He went to the doctor and said he's on antidepressants. Which ones? No idea. He's been dealing with this for many years, so have faith in him knowing what he needs at a particular time. He told me he knows what works and...

We live a fair distance apart (airports are involved), so I can't see what's happening on a day-to-day basis. The only way he'll communicate at the moment is by email, and that feels precarious. I couldn't get my head around what was happening at the time - to feel the distance and the...

Thanks, CH. This is what it looked like:- Ecstatic to see me, couldn't sit any closer if he tried. Always touching me. Agitated, hands shaking, sleeping, I'd say something and he'd snap out of it and ask me to repeat myself, quiet, distant, hold my hand, put his head in my lap, agitated...

I sent him an email last night, it wasn't too heavy and if it's the last thing I ever say to him then I'm at peace with it. In one of his emails to me he seemed really stuck about his memory failing him and having to question every little thing. I don't know what was bothering him specifically...

Over the past 8 months, his mother died, his son was critically injured in a work accident (he spent weeks by his bedside over Christmas), he just moved house, has issues with his sister, and reconnecting with me is in the middle of all that. Pretty big stressors for anyone. I'm having a bit of...

Thanks everyone. Junebug, I've sort of clung onto your advice and insight. You've helped me so much. I have my moments where I start to panic. I usually apologise and say I still have my training wheels on. I suppose I'm lucky in that if I ask him to give me a thumbs-up to let me know he's...

Can a sufferer please tell me what cycling is? I've looked all over the place and can't really find an explanation or description. There seems to be a frequent mention of rapid cycling with bipolar - is there only rapid cycling as opposed to just (ordinary?) cycling, or is cycling only...

I'm sorry to hear that. You have to do what's best for you. Thanks for the hugs, I have no idea what the future holds or even if there is one with my guy. I find as the days go by I take 'what is' much easier. Hugs to you too.

Sent him an email this afternoon asking him to give me a thumbs up that he's ok, or as ok as can be. He replied that he's trying to fight it, not ok, just hanging on. I'm a Scorpio, a red headed one at that - so the sting is sometimes out, like it was last night when I vented here. My best...

I copied this from my other thread. I'm struggling tonight. I feel pissed off. I don't need this shit. I was happy going about my life until he reeled me back in. And now I feel like I've been dumped in no-man's land, no idea where I am or wtf I'm supposed to be doing or whether it makes a...

I sent him this:-

I'm struggling tonight. I feel pissed off. I don't need this shit. I was happy going about my life until he reeled me back in. And now I feel like I've been dumped in no-man's land, no idea where I am or wtf I'm supposed to be doing or whether it makes a blind bit of difference or he even cares...

TinaG, I'm only slightly ahead of you time-wise in learning to cope with this. My guy said the same things. I think there is a lot of self-loathing going on that has absolutely nothing to do with you. I got lots of I hate myself, I'm sorry, I wouldn't intentionally be a prick, I don't know, I...

Thanks, Junebug. It encourages me a lot. He told me that the strands that hold his shit together are pretty thin and it's not pretty when they come undone.

We continued to email back and forth a couple of times. His sister was a huge issue for him. He explained how things start to spiral for him and what that looks like on the outside to others, physical symptoms, behaviours and such. Over the years with our stop/start relationship he has...

Oh Cj77...that is utterly outrageous to be treated like that by anyone, let alone your Mother. I'm so sorry that your own home was a torture chamber, not the soft place to fall like it's meant to be. I'm sorry that another adult didn't step up for you and see that something was very wrong.

He just sent me an email to let me know he was cycling while I was there. Feels embarrassed about it. A bunch of other stuff about memory loss and how he has to question every single thing about what happens/happened. He signed off with saying thanks for being so understanding, it means a lot to...

The kicker is....she's a mental health professional, and seems to be less grounded than he is. I'm fairly intuitive and don't feel that it was only because of her that things have gone awry. But it's a contributing factor. Not sure if he realises that. That's another discussion for another...

Thank you, Junebug. Now I think about it, his sister dropped over while I was there. There was this palpable tension in the air between them. Not towards me, but towards her. Like the wrong thing said, and he'd be at her. Anyway, I just sat talking to her, small talk stuff, and look over to...

As I do more and more reading and research, I find myself becoming stronger and not taking it personally. Yay me! But something just occurred to me in that his triggers may have started before I got there and may have been the thin edge of the wedge. He is financially secure. He had mistimed...

Agree with Casey. Your husband committed suicide in front of you 10 months ago following 7 years of an abusive relationship, and you're now living with another man and making promises to him? It would probably be a good idea to take some time out and deal with that and that might take a couple...

I caved and texted him after 48 hours. I hate myself. I then sent another saying I was a newbie at this and apologised for the intrusion. He texted me about 6 times saying he'd just come from the doctor, he is on antidepressants, and some other issues he's having. He was going over to his...

If it makes you feel any better, I just caved. It's been 48 hours. I hate myself right now. :arghh;