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Yes...sometimes it can feel like abuse is your destiny ..these people just come in and you do not know what to do with them..I think sometimes even this is the best i can do and get from people i am not good enough for anyone or anything else..I must start to let go of this beleif.

th thanks well said just contemplating how i will handle her act because i know its coming as soon as she senses she is in the dog house she will start acting the puppy dog...in a perfect world i could tell her to kiss my ass..but work being work we have to be all diplomatic and well behaved

Thanks very helpful. yes I agree in dysfunctional relationships there are often things both people are doing wrong but its up to one person to make there mind up and think enough is enough I want out...or I like to imagine someone is trampling around in my garden and its time for me to tell them...

I often have dreams about my traumas but I do not like to call them nightmares...I think nightmares is such an emotionally loaded term instead I try not label any of my dreams as good or bad ..its not easy trying to find acceptance in something so horrible. I have discovered a lot of my dreams...

In turmoil right now need some help. A relationship with a colleague is causing me distress. I do not know if I am being abused again or not as I come from a background of abuse and it can just seem normal to me. This colleague is very much a jekyl and hyde character ever since we have been...

Not right now the way things are right now I am best of not getting involved . I need some time for my own healing right now when me and my family get together it just never seems to go right but I realise now the change has to start inside me first and who knows what the future may bring.

I had a dream last night that is was with my little brother when he was a child He was with me I was taking care of him...In reality he was not he lived with my mother I lived with my father who was not his father. I never got much time with him. I pushed him in a pram when he was a baby , but...

but I will learn how to accept it is who I am

this is the injustice of ptsd some one else commits the crime and your the one who does the time. I have been a disociater my whole life. sometimes I do not know why I am here . been doing yoga to get into my body and I am discovering why I dissociate it from it in the first place some of the...

I hate it that some people are never going to stop being stupid and unintelligent and I am the one that has to change and accept it. I hate it that some people seemingly have everything and alls I have left is my dignity and they still want to take that from me. I hate it that your damned if...

hi thank you for checking up on me ..well its the beginning of the beginning really..my problems are extensive..i am focusing a lot on learning how to live in the present as worrying about the uncertainty of thingscan drive me mad...I have distanced my self from my friend who was the last of my...

yeah part of the change was the end of a toxic but long close friendship. perhaps there is some greif coming into play

Hello guys feeling scared right now I made a big what I believe/ believed is a positive change I imagined it was going to feel great but actually I am feeling depressed right now...is depression a normal reaction to change.

I am glad I found this post been having strong suicidal ideation this evening worse in a long time..been going through a lot of change which is hard enough moved myself out of a negative situation but the future just looks so uncertain. I feel trapped alone and scared with so few safe choices...

After many years of living alone in self imposed isolation My living situation has changed and now I am living in A communal situation flatsharing. I know what challenges me could be good for me I like these people who I am living with but part of me would just love to go back to isolation were...

I laughed so loud when I heard it.

Love this joke a guy shared in my twelve step meeting last night...he said some peoples familys are a dynasty of actors I come from a dynasty of addicts

yes what hurts the most as that its not that we dont love these people we despratly want them to be ok ...i used to say i was not strong enough to have her in my life i dont know what other word to use...i just did not have the empowerment or tools to do anything..what does it mean to be strong...

I would just like to add she has no inclination to seek help and work on the problem its very heartbreaking

Yes this sounds like my sister it helps her function better with some everyday things but in other areas it is catastrophic . She has lost her children and I have had to distance my self from her because I found her completely unmanageable and it was having an adverse affect on my...

I am moving home again..only to another room in another part of the city but it does not feel like I am only just leaving a house I feel like I am leaving the whole world as it has been since day one. You see my home is in London but I was born in Liverpool but in a way its like I never left...

It aint easy when your family are all peas in the same pod and your in a different pod altogether

yes indeed it makes more sense on reflection..I think hypervigillance is a factor..sort of unconsciously scanning the environment looking for perceived or real threats...also perfectionism..to be honest I think generally the dinner went good enough but I was foucusing on this negative detail.

Nicky nervousness

Its importmant for me to thank you for your post for what it has taught me. When I go through these episodes the judgment and punishment I give myself for my injuries is shocking yet I can be very compassionate to those who are going through the same thing...I need to learn to give this to my...