Psychological Torture Causing Physical Pain

[Deleted member 38242]

Anyone else get so psychologically tortured, boxed in, ripped apart, reality shattered, screwtanized, and given such a "hard time" they couldn't function which caused physically hurt? Like serious pain.

The mind can't handle it, and the body takes up the slack feeling electrocuted, or like such a bad pain you want to rip your insides out to make the pain stop.

The physical abuse dosent hurt anymore, the rapes don't phase me anymore. It's the psychological torture that f*cks me up, and makes my body shake, and hurt.
Anyone here understand. I would love to not be alone.

I know of a lady who came to the United States to hide from a cult that tortured her, and she was singled out by the leader for sadistic pain. It was a friend of a friend. She I guess had the same symptoms.

Other than that I'm a freak. Even my prison brothers, and poor people, and homeless friends don't get it. I feel like dog shit, and a freak simply for being alive in the wrong cercumstance.

Psychological torture can make you pray for your own death just to not remember you ever existed. Need a body for psychological torture to be perceived. And when that goes the peace of an eternity in darkness with no brain to perceive will be the greatest gift God could ever give?

Sorry bad morning.

 

[Kintsugi]

Psychosomatic pain is super real, and it super sucks.

I don't have extremely painful psychosomatic symptoms, but I do have terrible aches that go from my chest to my hands/fingers. That is a sign that I am in extreme emotional pain, even if I feel more or less emotionally numb.

 

[ladee]

My lower back is where I carry a lot of pain.
Feel like I have to "release" something all the damned time and sometimes have no idea what it is.
I understand.

 

[Deleted member 38242]

It's my chest/heart, and stomach, and sometimes my heart/stomach hurt so bad my arms feel pins and needles all the way down. It feel like a metal electrical pain I can't describe because there are no words to describe it. Sharp pain is the worst it can make you want to rip out your insides, and when you don't for obvious reasons like your not deranged then my arms feel pins and needles with electrical pain.
I hate that they got off on it so much, and hate that they wouldn't stop until my life, hope, and basic human desires were gone. Then they finally stopped. So much sadistic hate in your face you can feel it oozing off them.

 

[Nevermore]

Other than that I'm a freak. Even my prison brothers, and poor people, and homeless friends don't get it. I feel like dog shit, and a freak simply for being alive in the wrong cercumstance. Psychological torture can make you pray for your own death just to not remember you ever existed. .

@JoannaDoe ): I know this feeling. I just wanted to say that feeling, like you are the walking dead, I have discovered, is part of PTSD. It helped me when I learned that.
Also yes, physical pain - My body was like a plank of wood. I was so stiff for years. It's so much better now - i think I'm nearly normal!!
I get the heart pain too. But not so often or as strongly as I did.
Its been seven and a half years for me. And it's only in the last 2 or 3 years that I started to improve.
I hate that they got off on it so much too. There's something wrong with these people..

 

[Fadeaway]

Can I show you post to my husband? I try to explain it to him and he just makes statements like "If your chest hurts so bad we need to take you to the E.R." I have to explain, it isn't physical but it hurts physically. This is distinctly different from heart pain or anxiety pain. You are describing exactly what I feel, but can't seem to explain to anyone.

It sucks, there is no pain pill you can takes, no method of treating it. I hate that feeling more than anything.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I was raised in a cult much like your friend. The psychological part is the biggest part for me as well. Its a brain war basically. The part of my brain hearing what my therapist says fighting with the part of me that is brainwashed or the cult part of my brain that recites the cult beliefs and its a literal all out brain war.

Its exhausting. I have MAJOR physical symptoms. I had a PNES which is a seziure not cause by brain electrical stuff. I have major exhaustion that makes me fall asleep sitting up like a herion addict. I do have chronic pain from falling 3 stories but I think this make that pain worse. I also have radiating pain from my chest down my arm when I am hurting majorly emotionally. I get dizzy spells. Migranes. I throw up. I just have so many physical symptoms and my poor Drs have to weed through them to figure out what is medical and what is caused by mental reasons. So you are no where near alone in that.

 

[IamFree]

this is the injustice of ptsd some one else commits the crime and your the one who does the time. I have been a disociater my whole life. sometimes I do not know why I am here . been doing yoga to get into my body and I am discovering why I dissociate it from it in the first place some of the emotions feels like razor blades moving through my body

 

[Deleted member 38242]

Can I show you post to my husband? I try to explain it to him and he just makes statements like "If yo...

Yes, you can show him. And it's not the heart like beating. It's the whole chest around it. Sometimes front sometimes the back, and you know it's not a heart attack. It causes muscle stiffness in the whole core muscle of the body.
And I'm not really sad/happy just kind if numb. Thoughts aren't out of control. It's like the flu of stuff catching up after to many good days. Body doesn't process normal stress right, or something like that. I don't know I just know it happens....