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Anxiety, you went away for a little less than an hour yesterday, and when you were gone, I had some other visitors, like peace and calm and relaxation, and I am really thinking that I'd like them to move in, and you can go find somewhere else to be. Maybe I can build a little box for you to...

Since I was little, my weight-height was charted by the dr. as underweight. I was always told it wasn't a concern, because I've always been that way, aside from the regular baby fat. So when I started into the mental health system at 15, it wasn't a hard sell to any of the people that no, I...

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Noticed new activity on this thread, never really read through it.. We still can't really go downtown without everything coming flooding back. Dropping J off two blocks from there that morning is etched into my memory. He sent me a text before the news ever hit. I flipped through the soap...

I hope @Jemini checks in today sometime. I can say that for him the trauma does go back far enough, in that sense. I think the main thing right now is it's very scary for him. He feels very scared, unsure of what's happening. I'm trying hard to help take care of the little boy. It's sometimes...

Last night's dreaming was a little gentler. But I just cant get enough sleep, I feel always tired.

I agree with the above. If you are on Xanax as needed (PRN), it means you can try to take less than you've been taking, because doctor has already built in some dosage leeway for you. You should also be able to put a call into your psychiatrist before your appointment and tell them how you...

J and I have been living together for 4 years. In earlier times, before this spring (when stuff happened and the lid came off our trauma pasts), in general I was clingy, and J would take space by working overtime, or dive into a project and basically push me away. I felt wary to even ask if he...

Welcome to the forum. It sounds like she is having a very rough time. I know sometimes I will cry when something is over because it was emotionally intense. Not necessarily a good or bad thing, but a release. So she worked out with her counselor that she has PTSD just this last weekend, so...

Me too. I am not bi because I don't understand sexuality or gender as a binary (and I'm queer around both).. although I really don't like the stigma around the bi label. So that's not so much a problem with anyone else calling themselves bisexual. I just understand why rightkindofme clarified...

For me, years ago, when I was healing, being in a relationship with a woman where we both had sexual abuse in our pasts made it clear for me that it's possible, absolutely, to find intimacy that can be healing. To find a partner who can be patient and tender and understanding, even if they don't...

Mine didn't involve a job, but I had a similar sort of less than 7 days of trying to do something and feeling like I utterly failed, mainly because out in the new situation, stretching myself, I couldn't do it. I panicked. I have to learn what to do when this happens so that I don't wreck more...

I have my moments lately of wanting to smoke. So far have been able to resist it. It's not easy, when it feels like the floor is racing away from me and I start to feel like I need to do something to get back. There are soooo many alternatives to going and buying a pack of cigarettes that will...

I've always associated the term double depression with dysthymic disorder + major depressive disorder. I have a dysthymia diagnosis. It's basically always there. Most likely there is a cognitive component to it. The double depression happens when a major episode comes on top of it. Sunlight...

I'm here. I feel like Jemini is accurately describing things and doing well to be fair to me. I really appreciate his posts and many of the responses and thoughts shared, and constructive suggestions. I panicked so much last week that I fled. It felt that bad. But like J said, we are really...

I'm using generic names because internationally these drugs are not all known by xanax and klonopin. Half life of alprazolam (generic for xanax) is shorter than the half life of clonazepam (generic for klonopin). In essence, alprazolam reaches half the concentration in your bloodstream more...

I feel this so deeply that I can barely breathe. But I even hate that I'm not breathing well. I can sometimes convince myself that the fight in me isn't a reason to hate myself (no, it's a sign of self-love). Nor is the weak, withered, scared person (that person deserves compassion). But one...

Wanted to say hi and encourage you to keep writing.

When sleeping cat turns over, paws in the air so I can see her belly. Little trusting kitty. <melt>

Hi ashdawn, May I have your permission to private message you? Thank you, PJ

This has so interfered with my life, with being authentic in relationships, and the above is sort of the only clue I have. It's hard to be in tune with what my affect even is, but I can notice the extreme affects, anyway. Another time I can notice is when I flip really suddenly. Especially...

Seroquel, like risperdal and zyprexa among others, are atypical antipsychotics (APs). Depending on how long you've been on an AP your experience will vary. When I came off one AP, I became paranoid. I was never paranoid or had any notable "psychosis" type experiences before that. I am always...

This has been helpful here too. We both struggle with PTSD and the dynamic is hard. It's been helpful to differentiate somewhat and give each other space. Couples therapy definitely is tricky, I think finding a therapist who can manage the dynamic is a key. I ascribe to more process-oriented...

Shucks everyone, thanks :) Because we were in crisis, it honestly felt like the same as if suddenly our kidneys failed and we had to stop eating something kind of toxic. It felt like, wow, if we don't stop these things, we will keep spiralling. I can be kind of grateful for that, even though I...

Thanks ashdawn, I do want to connect with more people to talk about progress and such. I feel like I've been slogging it out for 10 years in the mental health system, but like I'm starting this new chapter, with new knowledge and self-advocacy skills. Thanks for your encouragement :)