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Even typing this is tough for me, but I've got to do it. My Mom died in June 2004, pretty suddenly. She suffered with severe Rheumatoid Arthritis & died due to a heart valve failing. It was related to her arthritis. I was 11 when she died. In my lifetime she had 10 major operations & wasn't...

I admire you for being open about it. I hide my PTSD & addictions as much as I can. The only people who know about my PTSD are you guys, my Dad & my girlfriend. I do that for two main reasons. 1) I am ashamed of it. 2) There is still a stigma around mental health, certainly in my area.

I am finding that rebuilding my fight response is really helping with my maladaptive daydreaming. I shout at my critic & it seems to be working. I've wasted most of my life so far stuck in daydreams & I've actually had a couple of weeks without them.

This post is enlightening. I've found the same. I've read a lot of positive self help books & find them wildly unrealistic. My Dad sends me things like this constantly & it winds me up, I now get why. I am beginning to learn that balance is crucial & too much positive thinking can be as bad...

Reading this thread has been enlightening for me. I admire you being open about this @Living in the 70s I'm going to take on board the things you recommend & buy the books you recommend. I've realised today that MD is something I have suffered with for a long time. I have fantasised the best...

I have been going to GA for 6 years on & off. In my first month there I got ripped off by a guy who took my money, promised me books & went back gambling. I still attend a weekly meeting, but I have zero intention of doing the steps. It helps with my gambling, but that is it. There are...

This is absolutely me. I feel shame for the way I've behaved & who I became. Shame is something I constantly battle, I feel shame when I do something compulsive. I feel shame when I don't stand up for myself, I feel like a weak small child! Conversely I feel shame when I get angry, as...

1) If you have CPTSD or PTSD what kind of flashbacks do you get, how often, do they come and go, did they reappear during therapy? My flashbacks are emotional. I can feel them coming on & I have difficulty identifying the trigger. Sometimes it's external & sometimes internal. I have suffered...

Thanks for all your comments, they are much appreciated! I remember my Grandparents coming round whilst my Mom was taken to hospital. I remember not speaking about what was going on, but we both knew! This kind of stuff is what I need to talk about on here & with a therapist. I am...

Thanks :) I've started a diary & an anniversary thread today! I find it tough expressing emotions with regard to what went on. The predominant one now is anger toward a lot of people. I am finding today tougher than I ever have. Probably because I'm starting to feel! I've realised that...

I’m new to this forum & it’s the anniversary of my Moms death today. Even typing that out I feel like I want to avoid it & run away! I feel anxious. My Mom died 14 years ago suddenly. I was 11 & I heard it happen in the next room. I remember being in bed sobbing unconsolobly, knowing deep down...

Thanks Blackemerald1! I think your right. I wrote to Pete Walker (Author of from surviving to thriving.) & he recommended a local therapist to me, which I'm going to try. It's the anniversary of my Moms death tomorrow & just about everyone in my life has been negative over the past couple of...

Ok, so I've been to a meeting & I now want to elaborate more on how I feel. I feel completely detached from the trauma I went through, as though I am not a significant part of what happened. I heard my Mom die. Yet I feel as though I don't fit in to her side of the family. I feel like an...

Hi Blackemerald. Yes, I've had therapy from 4 different people over the past 6 years. I've tried CBT courses online to no avail. My last therapist diagnosed me with PTSD. I freaked out & stopped going shortly after. He started doing something called a trauma script, which I didn't enjoy...

I lost my Mum in 2004 when I was 11 & have been subject to ongoing emotional abuse pretty much since then. My Mom was ill constantly after having me, she suffered from an autoimmune disease & was constantly in/out of hospital. My Dad has had several toxic relationships since my Mom, which...