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thats funny. Doing pretty good a little frustrated with my supervisor but it's because she left for lunch at about 1045 and it's now 1245 and she isn't back yet... but other than that things are going pretty good.

Yep I learned that in what we call airmen leadership school. I have forgotten about it until now thanks

thanks guys It's going a little better. It's going to be a baby step kind of thing just like everything that I have done in my recovery in the past. It has never been easy to share my feelings with people that I have a hard time trusting but if I avoid talking to her then my avoidance will just...

ALso thank you guys for having my back. It gives me great comfort in knowing you guys have my six.

Thank you for your encouragement guys. I was able to open the doors and have honest and open communication with my supervisor yesterday just from talking and I'm continuing that and sharing what I'm thinking with my supervisor but putting it through a filter of if I would say it to our one star...

So things ended up working out a little differently, actually it was kind of random and not even close to being planned out like I usually like to do but I told my supervisor how I feel like I'm being judged and she said that she tends to want to get ride of problems right away instead of...

I was brutally honest in my therapy session today and I mentioned to her how it bothered me that I was told that I can't be seen unless I feel like harming myself or others and she said that the policy about that isn't set in concrete and if I'm really struggling and having a tough day then I...

Something that has always frustrated me is that if I'm having a tough day I can't go over to mental health and just talk it out with somebody. The only way that I can walk into mental health and talk to somebody is if I feel like harming myself or others... Luckily there are a couple people here...

I'm feeling excited and nervous. Going to be sitting down with my supervisor to go over some things with a third person to help mediate the conversation. So I'm going to try to get a lot of things off my chest.

So I am going to finally sit down with my supervisor and talk to her about all my feelings that I have been having and all the anger that she has been causing me, but we are going to have a third person there to help mediate the conversation and make sure that both our points get across.

I hear you there sometimes when I try to relax all of a sudden I wonder if I should be doing something and then I get anxious that I'm not doing something I should

It's a little complicated but I usually do, like a week or so ago I noticed that I was just generally angry and in the slump and I'm almost out of the slump. It took me a little while to realize that I was in a slump but once I did I realized that the only way I was going to get out of the slump...

I agree with you there Lemontree it's not a healthy thing for him to cling to it so badly, do you guys have to go home so he can get the list or is he able to continue on without having his list? I have a few things that I do... If I'm washing the dishes and there is a pile in the sink I can't...

Luckily for me I don't know the smell of burning shit and diesel fuel but at Kandahar we had what we called the poo pond. It was a sewage treatment area that was made for I think somebody said 50,000 people and there was around 150,000 people that it was being used for...and you could smell the...

@Lemontree thanks That is when my attitude is good though... it feels like ptsd is a rollercoaster.... there are times when your attitude is good but doesn't seem to last very long and then you hit a slump but work in getting back up the hill until you are at a high point and then it feels like...

It's tough. I would love to have rules but have learned the hard way and through some therapy sessions that if I let the different things control what I do and don't do then it will just get worse

We do qualify on the m-16/m-4 but I totally agree

I'm thinking it must be a military thing but for me personally it depends on the situation when I hear gun shots such as back where I'm from if we were out on my grandparents land and heard some gun shots as long as they sounded distant/ not super close to where we were then I wouldn't really...

I have slowly been learning this and having to tell myself that. All the positive responses from me sharing my story at the event and then from me sharing the video on here has helped me telling myself that I'm brave instead of weak. I was just thinking about things and also realized something...

@Lemontree I do trust my wife now a little more each day, some days are easier than others. Talking about my triggers and my story kind of go hand in hand. because telling my story is telling about my trauma and telling about my triggers aren't a very comfortable topic because I guess...

It's tough for me to figure out what is a flashback and what is an intrusive thought because sometimes my T dismisses it as an instrusive thought when I tell her that I have had a flashback. But for me personally I think of a flashback is when I hear something and all of a sudden my mind sees a...

I don't have anxiety when it comes to doing laundry because I just throw it all in as long as colors and whites aren't mixed it's usually the folding that I have a hard time with because it's just a big pile of cloths to be folded. But to get around it I sort out my shirts, pants, socks and...

You know you have ptsd when you are in the bathroom and hear them doing a test of the alarm and even though your eyes see the bathroom your mind sees the bathroom in Afghanistan when a rocket attack happened, and a panic attack happens.

I'm with you there @jaccat when I saw my therapist every week for 10 weeks in a row it drove the people that I work with a little nuts because the vast majority of them was just told that it was a medical appointment so a lot of them were like why is he going to a medical appointment every...

@SheilaKathy it did, my wife has came around to being more of a supporter than hoping it would go away around the begining of October, but it has really helped her brother understand me a lot better and him seeing me accidently start to tear up watching it with them showed him how much of a...