You Go Boy

[holdenmonty]

thanks guys It's going a little better. It's going to be a baby step kind of thing just like everything that I have done in my recovery in the past. It has never been easy to share my feelings with people that I have a hard time trusting but if I avoid talking to her then my avoidance will just get worse.

 

[Deleted member 28812]

I just thought of the compliment sandwich technique. Have you heard of that?
Basically it is first saying something nice like "I always enjoyed working with you because of this quality you have and it was inspirational to see you solve that problem" Then you mention the things you are not happy about and finish by complimenting the person again.

This link explains how to use it:
http://www.wikihow.com/Use-the-Compliment-Sandwich-to-Critique

It is a civvy technique and I am not sure if it works in a military setting. I just thought of it and wanted to let you know :) I have used this in various situations, at work but also with family members and friends and found it to be very helpful.

I think talking to her through a filter like talking to your one star general is a great idea.

 

[holdenmonty]

Yep I learned that in what we call airmen leadership school. I have forgotten about it until now thanks

 

[Deleted member 28812]

You know, you shouldn't have told me about how it is called "chair force". Now I think of that term whenever I hear the words airforce. I have been watching "air force one" and couldn't get the term "chair force one" out of my head... and now when you talked about "airmen leadership school" I thought "chairmen leadership school".

Silly, eh?

How are you?

 

[holdenmonty]

thats funny. Doing pretty good a little frustrated with my supervisor but it's because she left for lunch at about 1045 and it's now 1245 and she isn't back yet... but other than that things are going pretty good.

 

[Ronin]

Very happy to hear the good news, Monty.

 

[Larksong]

@holdenmonty You have already shown such courage to come on this site and share your insights with us based on your experiences. I know that's not easy, but you did it anyway and you've helped so many of us who are supporters. Without people like you willing to share something of your life, I would be clueless about how to understand and love my vet. Without people like you, I'd still be feeling half-crazy with disbelief about why my guy acts the way he does and I'd be thinking I had done something truly horrible to make him keep pulling away. But because there are people like you who step forward to tell us what it's like, I've found peace and I might even find my way back to my guy. Thank you. I'm so glad you've gotten the conversation started with your supervisor. Sharing concerns honestly and respectfully is definitely the way to go in the workplace, and I am cheering you on. We all know you've got this, and we've got your back. Wishing you the best possible outcome!

 

[Sweetpea76]

I'm a little late to the party, but good luck @holdenmonty!

 

[Tanishq]

@holdenmonty Good luck. :tup:

 

[holdenmonty]

So my first sergeant had my supervisor and myself meet and we talked about all the different stuff and I realized that the majority of my issues with my supervisor was the perspective but also was able to tell my supervisor that if they want to communicate with me more effectively then to talk to me at my level instead of talking down to me and she didn't even really realize that she was talking down to me.

 

[Deleted member 28812]

Cool!

 

[Deleted member 28812]

Can't sleep because my guy is awake but I am to tired to do something that makes sense. So I am sitting in the bed and waiting/hoping for him to come.

Basically sit here and think of all the funny things that happened to me and the odd people I knew who did odd things.

So in my country they have the habit of doing word plays and when you talked about the chairforce I realized Americans do the same. That's kind of amazing because I thought americans would always be so serious and I always thought it was sort of our kind of humor that we do this and that folks from other countries have another kind of humor.

So I just post this here because we talked about the chairforce in this thread.

@holdenmonty: Still you go boy! I just realized that it is already Easter over here because it is past midnight *lol*. Happy Easter everybody.