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Relationship Ptsd, Control And Rules

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I agree with you there Lemontree it's not a healthy thing for him to cling to it so badly, do you guys have to go home so he can get the list or is he able to continue on without having his list? I have a few things that I do... If I'm washing the dishes and there is a pile in the sink I can't handle it and have to sort them between the big plates, small plates, bowls, glasses, silver ware, and stuff that can't be put in the dishwasher. Also if I'm folding cloths I have to sort it between my wifes shirts and pants, my shirts and pants, our boys cloths, and all the underwear and socks, and all the towels before I can start folding/hanging up cloths. I have gotten to the point that if I make myself I can take out all the big plates one by one and put them in the dish washer and the same order as I listed before instead of sorting it all out so it's organized before I even start on putting anything in the dish washer. But I must admit I have a system and order of the stuff that I put in my pockets that I refuse to even try to work on because I feel as though it's my own little area that is mine and that I can control. Long story short it's the old wooden high chair that I ate on when I was a baby and I feel as though it's my area for my stuff, but I can tell it's starting to get unhealthy because if my wife puts some of our boys stuff on the high chair near my hat or on top of my hat and stuff, or if she hangs up my hat on our hat rack instead of leaving it on the high chair then I get frustrated that they are messing with my area. But in my defense when I would have my stuff in the island in our kitchen my stuff would get moved and it's like any of my stuff that isn't in my area then it gets moved/lost because my wife and brother in law share a horrible habit of moving something and forgetting where they put it...
 
Thank you all for your responses - this is some great practical advice! @Justmehere, I love the "no-more-than-5-rules" rule, and @FridayJones, your advice was inspired as always. Very very useful, and I will be sure to try some of these things if things start getting out of hand. My guy has a very logical brain and is a rational thinker, so I think he will be receptive to the strategies you suggest.

If it is his meds, he may need to get that looked at. I know that it feels like our doctors know what is best, but meds are supposed to make life easier to handle. I don't know all the specifics of course, but from the way you have described it. It does sound like his new meds are becoming more of a hindrance than a help.

He is still acting quite irritable and nit-picking - this really only started since he went on the new meds, but it's only been 3 or 4 weeks since he changed to this new medication, so I will wait another month or so to see if this apparent side-effect eases off in time.

Thanks again everyone!
 
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