Consistently doing damage control in relationships

[slatecoloredstorm]

There's this thing I do which is downplay bad things that happen to me with "BUT here's what I'm doing about it so it's okay really and I will be fine/here's what I've done about it so I'll be fine."

Had to do damage control at home, mainly in high school. Feel I'm always pressured to prove I am doing okay, and pressured to immediately find solutions to problems. High school was a high pressure environment so that's probably where this came from. Ended up having psychotic symptoms which were resolved with antipsychotics but I still feel the residual paranoia, the thought broadcasting/feeling of being watched, lurking in my brain.

I really don't want people to see me differently because, sometimes things just keep happening. Lot of good in my life but there is bad sometimes. Feel like therapy is the default that people push onto me. I resent it so much. I am getting help but the help I got in the past didn't help, of course I'd be skeptical to try again.

I don't want to tell people the bad things that happen anymore because I can just feel their judgements sometimes.

 

[Movingforward10]

Had to do damage control at home,

Same.

Feel I'm always pressured to prove I am doing okay, and pressured to immediately find solutions to problems

Same.

It's a lot.

Thwrapy did actually help me work through where these messages came from and how to be now. But I hear that therapy didn't work for you.

Working through that you don't need all the answers. That it's safe now to not have all the answers and not being the one who needs to fix everything. I don't know if you were a parentified child? Everyone coming to you with problems that were beyond your comprehension as a child to fix? If so, working through these messages and understanding them can really help.

I often have to remind myself: it's not my problem to solve. Or, I don't need to solve it on my own. Or, I don't actually need to get involved.
Taking a step back to think: why am I fixing this? What role am I playing?

It can get better.

 

[Sideways]

Feel like therapy is the default that people push onto me. I resent it so much.

Maybe instead of trying therapy again, you could reframe that as seeing someone who could help you how to have more meaningful and rewarding relationships?