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Nine lives that we can count. One never knows what escapades end up the trees or the wild grape vines. That is fun to imagine.

Tired, irritable, I'm having trouble with my eye sight. That happens if my blood sugar it too high. I need to test it 2 hrs after all meals. I really need my eyes to work. I paint very intricate designs on my icons and I already use magnifying glasses.

This is true for me too although it took me a long time to get there. My abuse started as a baby. My mother tried to burn me by setting my crib on fire. I still am traumatized by the smell of nail polish remover. My grandmother told me this so I know it was true. I was used periodically by an...

Thanks @mytal. I must have reacted viserally. I missed that it made Solara angry in my response. I'm sorry

I would love to weigh 45 to 50 lbs less. Here is the crux of the matter. When I wake up between 12:00PM and 2: 00PM, I am a young child self. This is the time we children were feed. We ate breakfast early and then nothing so that we would not inconvenience our gentlemen callers. They cleaned us...

What caring and tenderness! You are a very merciful person. It is a beautiful model of what a caring relationship is. Your children have learned what 'for better or worse in sickness and health' means. It is wonderful the way you think about your husband's dignity and your children's view of...

It is very common for people with PTSD to have a shortened view of their life. I never thought I would be alive this long. I used to buy my two daughter's winter coats in several sizes so at least they would have warm coats after I had gone. I wasn't thinking suicidally just practically. My...

I hope you find some relief from your symptoms soon. I also have that critical 'voice' trying to tell me the meds are bad for me. I make myself take them( most of the time). Welcome to this forum and its huge international pool of caring members.

My short term memory is getting worse. I got a nice alpaca argyl sweater for TM from Novica, a fair trade organization. I thought he might get a kick out of something from ("Darkest", Paddington Bear)Peru. We have talked about fair trade NGO's and the restoration of communities. One year I sent...

I experience this same train of events. The fear is a sign to me that something fearful is trying to surface. Once I can tolerate the fear, connect the dots, whatever the incident was can come to the surface and be revealed. You are right about fear. For me, the fear has been like being in a...

movies

lost, so sad, desolate,almost invisible.

Hi Khlan, Amethist gives good advice that has been proven many times. Please do try to keep her advice going within you. It does stave off panic so you will be able to think clearly. Solara, please forgive me if this sounds hurtful to you. It isn't meant just for you, of course. Vets are using...

I have learned the hard way, not to share with many many people. I think it pushes them away. I used to tell a little to see if the people were capable of friendship knowing I wasn't whole. It seems to burden most folks and they drift away. I guess I have made my life more isolated than was...

I am also ambivalent about Christmas and family. I decorate the house with things we have collected or made over the years. Our usual pattern has been that my eldest daughter comes over to sleep in her childhood bedroom, we go to church and come back to a light supper, listen to christmas music...

Good for you for naming your spike in symptoms. I agree with you. Keep working on understanding...maybe a shorter word like tolerate, accept. I like accept your feelings, notice and name them as you are already doing. Maybe, Explore with your T what you are thinking when you can't speak. For...

Amen.Let all forms of abuse be recognized and halted, family and wife domestic abuse, and wars, and refugees, and homeless, We all know in our daily lives that 1 of 4 women are affected and 1 of 8 men. God pour out you love on the victims and the victimizers. After all, you created them all...

I don't understand the need to put down this man and his book. Perception is 9/10ths of reality, of Dave's reality. None of us have exactly the same kind of abuse, at the same age. We don't describe our pain in the same way....... Oh, really?? Suppose it is real, then what? I see, we have...

vacuum

Good Idea. There is no point in finding ways to hate your T. The only thing you will have made is rhino wallow, full of hate which is a strong poison to human beings. Then as time goes by, perhaps you will find other people you would like to hate. For each poison wallow you make, more of your...

I'm doing EMDR with a qualified Therapist. It has been very helpful. One example of success is work with flashbacks and terror/panic attacks from a particular trigger, that is an annual two month struggle, dissolved. The wonder is that I didn't even notice tat I went through that season...

Even from my SI place, I know I can't back out of life. TM would be seriously damaged by my suicide! I will not be a perp. No suicide! I will not be a perp. I know I will not be a perp. SI is depressing, hard to carry on moment by moment, but I must persevere. ........It's just so hard...

heart beat

Yes, it is very OK acknowledge your symptoms and discover what has set them off. The source may be something that reminds you of your past, the smell of new leather(pimp mobiles), screeching tires, yelling on the street, slamming doors,a car backfiring (my daughter called it backfarting) Then...

I read this book too a few years ago. I got the impression that Dave was honest about the facts and unable or unwilling to share his emotions. Some sufferers learn to not allow themselves to show or feel emotions at all. I've been listening to how Nelson Mandela managed his inner life. I don't...