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yes indeed i hope you did not think i was trying to down play how not very nice it generally is for most involved. it helps me to look at things objectively . Thank you for that I nearly had a tear in my eye. very moving. May your sister rest in peace and your greiving heart find rest . Yes...

Yes I think this is true. I am even open minded that there are certain people who constitutionally able to do this work and somehow it does not affect them there are people who have done well from this. probably the exception rather than the rule though. I imagine for them it was not rooted in...

yes It was just something I did a certain time in my life i am trying to learn to just see it that way. A feeling is only meant to be tempory letting you know what to do and what not to do i am not supposed to feel it for the rest of my life . If i am not doing it anymore its not justified. Yes...

Thnaks glad I am facing up to it now and not living a life splitting of from it you can run away from the past as much as you like but it will always come and bite you on the bum . just turn around and give it some attention I say. Its great you found something else beyond that and you have let...

Finally facing up to a time in my life i have been running away from. When I was a teenager new to london I was involved in the sex industry for a year or so selling sex . pornography . Not a long time in my life but a very dark one and with certain emotional consequences. I would be happy to...

yes I have been conducting an experiment on my self this week and will be for some time now...I dumped all my darky DVDS in the charity shop and have scoured the shelfs for dvds with a universal or PG certificate only....watched the land before time...wild lifes is good as well anything to do...

yeah I am assuming the primitive brain is not designed to be able to figure out whats real and what is not, its just about instinct and just doing what it has to do now.

just read some articles confirming that indeed the primitive brain does react like it really is witnessing what is happening and is setting of all the instinctive responses that goes with it...once again its a case of in the non traumatised person may not be a big deal but for the battered and...

I guessed as much.. these things would affect a non traumatised person in a different way and may have the space in there brains for such things. I am assuming that anyone who is from trauma has had parts of there lifes being a real life horror story so I imagine the real horror on top of...

I learned sometime ago that if you was a child who was brought up in trauma as an adult you may have an enlarged amygdala hence the constant hypervigilance. I have became aware recently that I am developing an aversion to any books/ tv / movies of a dark and heavy matter. been replacing it with...

wahey this is a revolution exercise and have as much fun as you like

I have learned for my self recently that my low self esteem/ acceptance whichever term works for you come from a lot of shame based thinking..I observe some of the language your using on your self looks shame based. I read a really good book about it...healing the shame that binds you. if...

yeah I might try out a cycle class at the gym tomorrow..will be better for my breathing ...this was the issue with swimming for me was that getting the breathing right was so difficult.....to be honest I find it hard enough to breath on land never mind in water lol

love walking already... a nice bike ride would be nice

my body likes simplicity. foundational pilates/ yoga...simple movements not twisting myself into bizzare shapes. I need to be able to exercise with awareness and have a chance to relax in order to strengthen my mind body connection...not goal oriented just accepting my body as and were it is...

finally listening to what my body wants and needs. I am forever trying to learn how to inhabit my body it can be a very dysfunctional relationship my head often wants to walk out on it. at one point I had decided that I must knock my self in to my body kicking and screaming. I started going to...

yes you have to approach it carefully ..i had to go to some places more than once and get a little closer each time...and i planned to have cut off points and plan something nice to go and do afterwards

wow thats a big trauma map lol. I understand what you meant about needing to go to some places..many places from my city of birth was popping up in my dreams the pull was mystical in nature. So this year I have have been travelling there...fortunatly just a train ride down the road not costa...

ha ha i am glad my i gues it has to be done for the right reasons

well that is the challenge not going to the other extreme of denying the anger is there its expressing it in a way that is not harmful to your self

I would just like to add that my family was destroyed by various incident of uncontrolled expressions of anger

its a way i have often gone in the past but its a way i try not to go anymore..these days if there is a problem in a relationship i would much prefer to try and problem solve it. F@@k you can be a bit of a dead end and everyone goes away from it not feeling so great. i hate that feeling of...

Has anyone found any value in going to places were they was traumatised to experience memorys/ emotions e.t.c... I have been giving it a go have been getting some insights....still not sure if its just upesetting my self though.

I read the book on holiday last week ...really made a lot of sense to me. I liked it that even though he had done the twelve step programme he was not preachy or pushy about it but he acknowledged thats not the only way to heal as the twelve step thing was not my cup of tea and he presented the...

I would be curious to know if anyone has reached a place in there recovery were someone saying this does not bother them..and can even have a sense of humour about it.. I wonder if this would be a more desirable place to be rather than getting all triggered regardless of the intention.