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Yes this is what abusers say -- that they only act this way because "you push them" or that if you weren't so [fill in the blank with their detrimental word of choice] it wouldn't push their buttons. The truth is that they have issues with self control and emotional regulation and are behaving...

I'm a little bit similar -- with my mom it was easier to just be inconspicuous and not to share any of my ideas or feelings because there was no telling how they'd be received. So now when I try to fit in with people I'm just sort of ... lost. I have very limited skills and end up just screwing...

I'm with @C j on this one. Your therapist sounds like she doesn't quite understand what trans identity actually is. It's understandable how your trauma would make you personally feel like you want to be extra thorough in thinking through this issue--but maybe someone who is more knowledgeable...

I never used to. I just took care of myself and didn't see the point of wishing things were different. It's very recent and unexpected. I had this dream out of the blue that somebody I admire was kind of "fathering" me as an adult -- making a point to support my ideas and my goals, etc. It's...

In the last few years I've done so much hard work to get through the worst of things. Starting medication made me feel so much better, but lately I've been realizing that clinical depression is only one piece of the puzzle. The other piece is the emotional/psychological abuse and isolation I...

It's like it's up to the searcher to dig for what they want -- instead of that role being filled by the content creators themselves. Ideally, an article about signs of abuse SHOULD include how to spot a victim and a perpetrator, but they don't. They're treated as completely separate topics by...

Frank Black. "Whatever Happened to Pong"

As hard as it is to deal with I'm so glad you FINALLY have a T who not only believes you but who seems like they have what it takes to help get you through this part of things.

I have no idea if this is helpful or not, but reading Pete Townshend's autobiography recently he talks about being in therapy and trying to uncover repressed memories of early CSA ... when he couldn't remember past a certain point, his therapist suggested writing it out, and he when he tried to...

"I was being patient, but then it took too long!!!" Something Anya says on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I always joke that my heart screams this in my ear ten times a day, every day. I have some, uh, issues with patience. Haha

Glad to hear it went well! I think the only way to know if something is or isn't a "red flag" is to put it out in the open, discuss it as honestly as you can, and see what the effect is. Fear has held me back from doing this in the past and I really regretted it. If you know what someone is...

I'll never forget the day I realized this. I've probably written about this elsewhere on the site, but I grew up being told CONSTANTLY how argumentative, intolerable, and generally incorrect about everything I was. Needless to say I moved out the day I turned 18. About 5 years later I was...

I love this. My stuffed animals got me through my childhood and I still have them all together in a canvas bag on my closet shelf where I can see them every day. I could never get rid of them! @Fox I'm 38 and I have an imaginary friend. I do have a couple IRL friends but the older we get the...

I have a friend who just sort of woke up with vertigo one day and it sounds a lot like what you're describing. Nobody could find a cause for it, and it was really disruptive to his life for a little while, but after a few weeks to a month it just sort of went away, has never come back, and seems...

I've been on bupropion (generic Wellbutrin) for 5 years. It's the only thing I've ever taken, and it's a huge part of my life turning around from aimless, lonely, and bewildering to purposeful and way more secure. It's not like I'm massively different. It feels more like I had this latent...

I'm not sure exactly what I was reading a couple months ago and of course I can't remember my search terms, but I found this and it's really helpful. At the end it has 5 everyday techniques you can use to switch off fight-or-flight and switch on rest-and-digest, which calms the vagus nerve AND...

I looked up why certain emotions are physically painful once and I found a bunch of info about the vagus nerve and how to calm it down. WHY it's connected to grief and emotional pain, I still don't understand, but knowing what's going on when I feel that pain is helpful. I have that reaction...

You (and the other students whose learning these people are disrupting) are paying to be there, and these disruptive students are literally burning your money. If it were any other kind of "product" like a show in a movie theater, they'd be thrown out. It's so unfair when this happens--I think...

I haven't had sleep paralysis in years, but my mind would always conjure up a supernaturally huge spider--like the size of a cat, usually crouched in the corner--as the "explanation" for why my legs wouldn't move. Like the spider drained a bunch of my blood while I was napping and now my limbs...

Don't worry about "encouraging" them -- I used to work in a similar situation and they seemed to feel just as "encouraged" by my constant, blunt, impolite rebuffs. It's not you, it's them. They're just gross people.

I'm sorry this brought up difficult stuff for you. I know how it feels though to run across something that hits so close to home you have to drop what you're doing and process it sometimes for a long stretch. When you feel able to respond please do as I'd love to hear your input and experiences.

I do think a psychiatrist is a better bet. Having worked in a healthcare-related field for a while I know that general practitioners just don't have the time to become experts in everything, and I feel that even the ones with the best of intentions are not likely to be up to speed with all the...

I've been on bupropion for almost 5 years and I finally have a life for the first time, like ever. I do recommend for people with complex issues like ours--not just regular "i'm well adjusted but i can't shake being sad about a big letdown i had" or something--it's worth springing for a...

I hair-pull and then when there's no hair left in that spot, I scratch my scalp. It's a (thankfully) very small spot and it's always the same, and I can go years without having the urge flare up. When it does, though, it seems to come out of nowhere and I can't stop no matter how hard I try...

Thank you so much for the encouraging words. I've never really thought to put it that way. Sure the more experience you get, the more you start understanding what you're capable of, and the more confident you feel to try something different--but I've never been able to apply that to what I see...