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Usually, you have to ween off of it. It's not as bad as an SSRI, which can take months to ween off of, but stopping it suddenly can cause some really bad side-effects -- which you may have gotten. :) Seroquel, and the class of drug to which it belongs, are very strong and, in some people, have...

Exactly. The way my therapist described this to me is that my "parts" are deathly afraid that we will perish; but that, as the adult, I have to remind them that, not only can take care of them, but that I have done so -- at the very least with regard to subsistence. As for your husband and...

Nope, this is false. Quite the opposite. For reasons too many to enumerate. He's right. And it's just fine to "lose it" in front of those who are supposed to love you and care about you. The fear is old. It comes from a time when you believed that you had to be the one to keep the family...

Wow, great job! I envy your courage. ;) I hope you have a great time. That's a scary thought -- that deja vu could be lost memories. Never considered that. I've always had A LOT of it, all my life. Always feeling like I've been someplace, before, or even another time. This is usually far...

Not sure what he meant, but the idea of this resonates with me in the following way: there are times when I feel like I'm living in the world of my past. It's often like a day-long, broadly scoped emotional flashback, where I feel like it's still 1972 and that my emotional world has not...

This is pretty much exactly the same way I parent. And it is good parenting -- I can tell you that definitively. Blame and a punitive approach make things worse and harm more than hurt children. The old methods involved discipline through fear -- which simply results in adults who are afraid...

Ditto again. :) Interesting. I need to think about this. For me, there are times when it's very difficult to move from one thing to another -- if I'm highly focused on something, I don't want to stop. Other times, however, rapidly transitioning is perfect. Need to think through this.

I just finished a post in my diary that mirrors this greatly. Great minds get traumatized alike? I haven't broken my kids' spirit, either. Same as you, that was the last thing I wanted for them. Although, tonight, they both had tantrums over stupid things, which made me start to think that...

Yes. A child, especially a very young child, cannot easily differentiate between "kidding" and "seriousness" -- especially if it's of a very brutal nature. A lot depends on the context, but this can easily be emotional abuse.

When's the last time you actually threw-down a good, loud, ranting, expletive-filled tantrum? Or allowed yourself to have that resentment? You have a right to do these things. You don't even have to do them in-front of others, it just needs to be allowed to come-out and get validated...

Just a quick note for now, regarding this. There are two different situations, I think. One is where a person actively supports negative thoughts, such that they end-up convincing themselves of the worst. This is an active, conscious act and could potentially be categorized as "wallowing" if...

You're placing too much responsibility on yourself. IMHO: 1) Your husband has a responsibility to do some research on his own about what's going-on with you, either through simple reading or, perhaps, doing some sessions with you and your therapist. 2) Some of this, as you imply, is because...

I know you're right. :) In fact, during my therapy appointment this evening, my therapist highlighted the importance of providing a foundation for being able to handle trauma revelation -- coping skills, ability to manage EP "outbursts", ego strengthening, etc. -- all of which takes time...

Have had some experiences, recently, where consciously going into a deep-breathing mode suddenly causes a flood of emotional expression. I can't directly corroborate what you describe physically, but it does feel like there's a "switch" from one mode to another. I was amazed when this...

@Hope4Now: I'm so sorry to hear about this story, but thank you for posting it. I think this answers my question.

@FridayJones, thanks. :) It's significant to know that "going flat" on something can actually be an indication that there's "something there", something that should probably be paid attention to.

After reading through this thread, something occurred to me, which I thought interesting in the context on my own experience. I don't know exactly what happened to me, in the past, but, after two years of processing, I strongly suspect some kind of sexual abuse. Not sure if it included...

Agree with @Lucycat. You should definitely mention these things to your therapist. He/she will be able to help you sort through this stuff. Just as general reassurance, nothing you are saying sounds "crazy". You should trust your feelings and your inner instincts. If you feel that this is...

As regards "feeling safe", SSRI's can help with this some, I think. They take the edge off of anxiety and obsessive thought. As for flashbacks, that I don't know. Glad you said this; now I know I'm not the only one. ;) I'm not living this through flashbacks, though, but, instead, through...

My therapist says similar things to what others are saying here -- better to be able to maintain life while working through things, both because you need to survive, and because living will help you through the trauma. I had talked, at one time, about taking leave from work for a month or two...

@Eleanor: I'm familiar with Structural Dissociation Theory, but not Panksepp -- something else to research. ;) @Hope4Now: I think Eleanor is right on the money; my understanding of "inner children" (ducklings) is the same. In fact, the sense of time is one of the most intractable issues...

I can corroborate this. :) In fact, today, which has been one of the most anxious days I've had in months. I've been "cheerleading" my "inners" all day, trying to help them understand the difference between the past and present. This is really interesting. I'll be really interested to see...

Ideally, we could avoid the medications; but doing so means that the lows of trauma processing can get very low, as you well know. The medication allows the ability to function a little better in the world, while still working-on trauma processing. It does seem to be a very long-term process...

It absolutely does. And more. The "not knowing", I think, is always a big inhibitor to healing. As painful as this is, a locked door has been opened. Compassion is important -- but it doesn't ever excuse a person's bad behavior. If your husband's mother had said something like this to him...

No matter what our kids think about us, there's one thing that completely sets us apart from our parents -- the fact that, if our kids ever came to us with a grievance, even a request to seek family counseling, we wouldn't invalidate or criticize them for it. We wouldn't try to convince them...