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I go the various forums but don't swim in the diary pool, although I'm somewhat stable these days I'm still pretty easily triggered and am being really careful with myself,

I've been reading through the guidelines, it's a great resource! I work in mental health/subantace use and am going to be going back to school to take more courses, feild realted and in psycology, having a deep background of "lived experience" and working in feild is like walking a f*cking...

Wise advice, from everyone! I was freaked by the site when I first came and had to go away for a while, now that I've grounded somewhat and engaged in treatment I'm finding it theraputic and helpful, I've been struggling with DBT and starting a new diary, and when I write the way I have been or...

Thanks ☺ I don't know why at this point I feel like I need to keep an open journal aside from the insane scrawling I have buried away that I'm affraid to Look at, I kinda had an Idea to start at formal journal staring over from scratch to present, from a perspective of where I'm at now, and...

Thanks for the reassurances, I know everyone is responsible for themselves but have a fear of potentially negatively effecting someone eles, I guess I need to get over that piece, and unfortunately I'm cursed with somewhat of an eidetic memory and recalling past is like watching slo motion...

I havn't conqured the world of digital formating lol, I have issues with computers and don't even like having a smart phone, I'm pen and paper dinosaur, I have extensive writing I've done but every time I've ever gone back to read any of it I've burnt it instantly, even if I look at the box I...

? aww shuks thank you

I'm scared to make a diary, I write quite a bit and have shared some of it with my T, who encourages me to think about working up to sharing some of the things I write about but am beyond horrified by this, after I write something I put it away and never look at it again. I'm affraid to be...

thanks for that, I was kinda worried about my response, lately because of where I am in my recovery my moods can be unstable at best and I've found I've had to start exercizing high boundaries and foucusing on me and not giving so much of myself to other people, not that i'm turning my back on...

Clinicians are just as weird as we are and like anything eles some are better than others at gaining trust and understanding the people they're working with, I agree trust is earned not granted, 3 months is piss in the bucket to develop a relationship with someone, maybe addressing that point...

Holy holy smokes thats ruff, try and take some space and be kind to yourself, do you have anywhere you can go to calm yourself for a bit? Hope you can find some peace

Ok so I have some baggage, abandonded at birth, csa that started before I had memories and continued til was old enough to hit the street, then dealing with the violence and everything eles that goes along with that piece, when I got up into my late twenties I tried to access therapy but found...

Because you're a good person and feel compelled to help people? I'm a frontline community support worker, because I come from a more than dodgy past, and I feel compelled to pay forward, and I enjoy helping people, it makes you feel good. Its a dopamine hit. Sometimes people feel entitled or are...

Don't be so hard on yourself, we can't control how we react or respond to incidents and just because someone pushed you to a certain point doesn't mean you're f*cked up, if anything I'd be tempted to say it's the other way around, it's lucky, sounds like you have a good doc, all they are saying...

I found some peace cat sitting at a friends house, some safe quiet time for a cat nap, with the cat, and found I was able to remind myself I'm not completely alone, also found 10buks in my backpack!

Where the heck did you find a 10x10 cheesecake? And I'm sure you found the courage in your utensil drawer grabbing a fork just before you at it lol :)

I have a similar backgroung being assulted as an infant and all through my early youth, I also suffer from pretty extreme dissasociative symptoms at times when I become triggered, I've found that with trauma that you were to young to remember or events that your mind is blocking for coping...

unfortunately you're spot on with being selected, predator types exersize selection methods, thats unfortunately why they tend to get away with thier actions as long as they do til they're off and get reported, it was brave of you to speak out, If you feel up to it once you've settled a bit...

I struggle with similar issues and yes, therapy will start to untangle all the strings, and I'm 47 and still struggle to know who I actually am, I was made a ward of the court at birth so really have not much idea where I came from, but I've grown to feel that who we are is a collection of the...

Omg thats horrible! I agree you did the right thing by reporting it and making sure you were safe, but that's disturbing, and I hope staff addressed the person or checked cameras, and I'd recomend never going back there as predators tend to frequent places, omg I hope you're alright :(

Thats great! Sometimes I have issues with apperance, over the years I've literally covered myself from head to toe with tattoos, yep, head and face too, in the city it wasn't so bad but now I live in somewhat of a small community, lol, sometimes people will just stop dead in thier tracks and...

Hey there @MlleD, I have similar dissacoiative symptoms but get the numbness in my legs and head, and can become quite detached for prolonged periods of time, I've found daily meditation to be quite helpful and yes, if I begin to feel myself slipping out I'll drop into deep regulated stomach...

Aww thanks :) yeah hugging is a kinda weird one, I think it maybe somewhat of a cultural thing? I don't have much game on that anyway, I was raised by stone hard war era Brits, and as a foster to boot, like a bizarre social experiment, it's almost like I was a pet? I still feel weirded out when...

I find this topic interesting and sure makes me think alot, all of my earliest and childhood memories are of abuse then I left home just after I turned thirteen, I never really had childhood and I can't really remember any fun things I enjoyed doing, I think my inner child just wants to feel...

Toasted english muffin