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@Al_Lurker, If you have a full-time job with a large organization, find out if they have an Employee Assistance Program ("EAP"). My employer offers this and I got 8 free sessions with a therapist. I lucked out and found a wonderful therapist through a recommendation from a co-worker.

@felicia I think if you say something to him, he may defend her instead of sticking up for you. So be ready for that. She's just being a "betch". Say nothing to her.

Who says this?? His ex sounds a bit immature to me. I think she's playing with his head. If she knows about you, I'd venture to say that she's playing with your head too. I would ignore it if you can. Maybe give him one more chance?

@felicia, I think some guys just don’t think! When I was dating my ex-husband (not my Sufferer) we ran into somebody he knew from his past. The guy asked if he was married and my boyfriend said, “no, I’m divorced”. I later asked him if I should define myself as “single” if someone were to...

@I'll make tea, My ex-BF Sufferer did not like confrontation either. He too is a Vet and I have my suspicions about him being abused prior to that. We didn't have a real argument for the 4 years we were together. At that time I was unaware of what I said that triggered him, but it was too...

@I'll make tea, We are on speaking terms as "friends". I already decided not to give it to him, thanks anyway for your response.

@Al_Lurker, Honestly, I don't know if it matters who talks to your ex or mine. I don't know if anybody can influence them. On top of everything else, my ex can be very stubborn. I will keep my fingers and toes crossed for you and me.

Last night I saw the mutual friend (who is visiting from out of state) who introduced me to me ex 4 1/2 years ago and we talked about my break up. He's been my friend for 45 years and met my ex in group therapy about 5 years ago. He was a Green Beret in Vietnam and also has PTSD. When I...

I am thankful that I have so many good friends.

Thanks for the encouraging and motivational words @Runnergirl, and yes, you should stay calm, there is no use in flipping out, it gets you nowhere.

Thank you all for your responses. My ex-BF Sufferer did try to explain what triggered him, but I still can't quite understand his reaction to it and I suppose I never will. He certainly was experiencing overwhelming anxiety at the time he ended our relationship. I hoped he would be able to get...

@Al_Lurker, I'm still crying every day and it's now 4 months since the break-up. I can understand our Sufferers not wanting to talk about what triggered them. If you and I are willing to try again, why aren't they? I continue to call him weekly and it's always a good conversation, but I want...

straw

@Runnergirl, Training for a race is a great way to use that pent-up energy. I admire you for that. I have been drinking more than usual, which of course is not a good thing. I have to take control and get myself to the gym! I know it feels like the pain will never go away, but as my mother...

@Runnergirl, I'm sorry you are going through this. Unfortunately, we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way; we cannot manipulate their thoughts; we cannot control their way of thinking. I didn't want my relationship to end either, but I have to accept his decision... I...

Ooops... what I meant to say was my ex-boyfriend who is a Sufferer...

create

@felicia, If your new guy is treating you right, why not continue seeing him? Try not to think of your ex and get out there and enjoy yourself. I have been going out with my girlfriends for happy hour and we talk and laugh, laugh, laugh. We lift each other's spirits up. If you don't want to...

Has anyone read, War and the Soul, by Edward Tick, Ph.D.? Would it be a good idea or not such a good idea for me to recommend it to my ex-Sufferer who is a Vietnam veteran? I don't even know if he would open the cover to the first page. I'd appreciate any comments please.

It's so hard to get over someone you have a deep love for. You can't just think it away. I know I am trying everything to get him out of my heart and my head. I truly believe it just takes time... a long time. But let's keep our heads held high and do what we know is best for us!

@nz16, your words move me deeply. I am trying so hard to move on, but am finding it very difficult. The pain, along with the tears, come every day. I used to be so strong, but he has left me weak. He was so much more to me than any other man. I, too, miss my best friend.

I am forever thankful for my darling daughter and for all the remarkable women I can call my "sistas".

I agree wholeheartedly ~

My ex and I live about three hours away from each other so I know what you mean. I told him I would always be there for him too. Your guy could live around the corner from you, but still not be ready to see you. To me, that could be even worse. No one can determine for another person what the...

@Brittny, I don't know at what point you or I decide to move on. Some people advise me to cut all communication, but I can't do that [yet]. I am trying to come to grips with the fact that he does not want to be in a romantic/intimate relationship with me. He is willing to be friends, so I...