General Just Friends?

[Al_Lurker]

There is no way for us to understand @Gingerly the things that have happened to our sufferers are not things that have happened to us so we cannot truly grasp their thinking. I liken it to a man trying to understand what it feels like to give birth, though it can be explained on an intellectual level the man will never truly *know* the experience. Logic plays no part in it. His reasons for his choices may even make no sense to him...

 

[Gingerly]

And of course, you never know with PTSD. It's tricky like a coyote, maybe it was Vietnam but maybe there was something there that Vietnam just made much worse.

Last night I saw the mutual friend (who is visiting from out of state) who introduced me to me ex 4 1/2 years ago and we talked about my break up. He's been my friend for 45 years and met my ex in group therapy about 5 years ago. He was a Green Beret in Vietnam and also has PTSD. When I suggested that some trauma occurred prior to my ex going to Vietnam, he said, it was not only possible, but it was probable. I know he will not tell me anything that my ex told him in confidence and of course I understand that. He is going to visit my ex today and will hopefully have some influence on my ex BF's thinking. He knows us both well and would like to see us get back together since he believes we are good for each other.

I hope he can get through to him. If anyone can... he can.

 

[Al_Lurker]

@Gingerly I hope for your sake that he can get through too. I'm hanging on to the same kind of thread in that my ex and I have a mutual friend who suffers from PTSD and has learned to manage it. She has agreed to try to get my ex to seek help or talk to me for the same reason, she believes we are good for each other. But so far it's still silence.

 

[Gingerly]

@Al_Lurker, Honestly, I don't know if it matters who talks to your ex or mine. I don't know if anybody can influence them. On top of everything else, my ex can be very stubborn. I will keep my fingers and toes crossed for you and me.

 

[Al_Lurker]

Don't worry about me @Gingerly mine has reaffirmed her lack of trust in me today and I've reached the point where I can't continue to try. If good intends for us to be together the he will need to speakv to her. I'm attending to my own health and life now.

I will continue to hope for you. Message me if you like but my visits here will likely diminish over time.

 

[BigBear]

@Al_Lurker, You will always have a home here. You have helped people here. Please come back for any reason that makes sense to you!

Bear

 

[Al_Lurker]

Don't worry @BigBear I intend to stay. I also have a condition that people tend to fear but know little about. I understand what a stigma is and how most of society reacts can hurt someone. I also understand now that PTSD sufferers need as much support as they can find. If I had half as much knowledge about it as I have now this time last year my life and my exs would be very different I think.