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Search results

  1. AnnieMae

    My diary of random thoughts

    The horrible thing is that no one effing believes in gaslighting. My whole life is so screwed. I can’t keep up with everything anymore. He told me he did it to be vindictive, but no one cares and it’s too late.
  2. AnnieMae

    My diary of random thoughts

    Thank you, I will check it out. Yeah, I never freaked out like that or this until he laid me out like a damn sack of potatoes on the driveway. It sucks because I have serious trust issues because of all this. What I thought was real was fake and it’s so confusing. The things I feel like I need...
  3. AnnieMae

    My diary of random thoughts

    It’s not PTSD. It’s that I am not what I thought I was. My life is not what I thought it was. I am not who I thought I was and everything is all effed up. It always will be. I have had so much information told to me I don’t know what is true and what is not. I don’t know what is true and what is...
  4. AnnieMae

    My diary of random thoughts

    The biggest lie ever told- trust yourself. I don’t. I’m making bad decisions and no one can help me anymore. I should have listened to my family, but I didn’t. Now I can’t trust anyone. And it hurts because I hurt those that are nice, but I keep learning lessons the super hard way. No one can...
  5. AnnieMae

    My diary of random thoughts

    I am so scared to open up to people. Nothing is what it seems anymore. I feel like a monster and I’m so confused. I hate this anxiety and everything I do just gets thrown back in my face. It always does. Damn
  6. AnnieMae

    My diary of random thoughts

    I am so screwed- my life is going to hell in a hand basket and no one can help me. I used to have so much fight and spunk in me. I am going to be alone for the rest of my life. I am so confused right now. I am not ready for this. I really have no one because I am a loner. I have no one to help...
  7. AnnieMae

    My diary of random thoughts

    No one can truly help me. I have no one. I can’t get the thoughts out of my head. I need help! You can’t take away the pain! You can’t take away the charges! I will never know who I am or what I am about! I have literally drove myself insane thinking about all of this! I can’t get it out of my...
  8. AnnieMae

    The PTSD Jacket Removal

    I understand. I feel the same way, although it’s not as bad as it used to be. I am just so confused. Everything is so confusing. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I wish I could turn back the clock and change things, but I can’t. I get that it is all delusional, but it’s all going to fall...
  9. AnnieMae

    Suggestions for Hypervigilance

    Meant to say how do you prevent it?
  10. AnnieMae

    Suggestions for Hypervigilance

    @Innordinate howndonyounorevent it from happening?
  11. AnnieMae

    Strange thoughts that accompany anxiety attacks

    It is really hard. My ex husband gaslighted me and I have nothing but panic attacks. My whole life has changed. I’ve experienced the same things that you have, the anxiety and the dissociation. I just wish there was some relief so I could make some changes in my life and get it back together...
  12. AnnieMae

    Suggestions for Hypervigilance

    Does anyone have any suggestions on things that have helped with hypervigilance? I am open to anything. From meds, meditation... I have tried a lot, but just want it to die down.
  13. AnnieMae

    My diary of random thoughts

    Why does everything keep he worse and worse and worse? Nothing gets better. I know what gaslighting is and it happened to me, but no one cares. I lost everyone in my life due to all of this and it’s my fault because I couldn’t control my emotions even though I was gaslighted. My world is so...
  14. AnnieMae

    My diary of random thoughts

    I am slowly but surely realizing that I am not really suffering from PTSD, but that I was a victim of a narcissist. I thought I had everything. Now I have nothing. Including the fact that I lost some of my best friends. I have become totally anti social. Before, I was because I was fine with it...
  15. AnnieMae

    My diary of random thoughts

    No one understands. And ever since my ex told me I am a manipulator, it f*cks with me. He knows it and I still stupidly talk to him and think I’m getting the upper hand but then he flips it on me. Always does. I am not who I thought I was. I thought I was this strong woman who could be on her...
  16. AnnieMae

    My diary of random thoughts

    I keep the wrong people in my life without knowing who is good and who is bad. No one can truly help me. My ex was the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. He is vengeful and mean and set me up to make me look like a nut. Now I am. And now I can’t pull my shit together and move forward...
  17. AnnieMae

    My diary of random thoughts

    Yeah, it’s more psychological than anything. I take meds, and do therapy. It really just life circumstances. I lost my damn mind and I am trying to get it back. Instead of being able to cope with things and change them, I freak out and run away. I am so tired of this. My whole reality has just...
  18. AnnieMae

    My diary of random thoughts

    More random thoughts- my life is so effed because I couldn’t pick my own attorney. My life is so screwed because I couldn’t listen to my sister. Now, I’m being told to make my own decisions and I am so screwed. Everything is so messed up. I will always be living a lie because he lied. His slate...
  19. AnnieMae

    My diary of random thoughts

    I am a narcissist, a liar, but I tell the truth! I am so confused. It is not fair that I have to go through all this, but I am still willing to forgive him. What is wrong with me???? He was everything I wanted until he became a complete asshole and effed me up emotionally. I am too weak to...
  20. AnnieMae

    My diary of random thoughts

    What is in my head now- I am effing up my own life up because of the anxiety. I can’t make good choices. I can’t break the cycle. I really can’t do it!!!! Ahhhhhhhh! My whole life is a lie! A lie! I needed him to tell me what to do because he was smart, but he was a manipulator. I hate my life...
  21. AnnieMae

    Anyone have signs of recovery?

    How are the symptoms useful to you?
  22. AnnieMae

    Anyone have signs of recovery?

    I guess my question is how do people heal if they just keep getting triggered? I thought therapy was supposed to help process emotions. Sometimes I feel like it’s just all the same.
  23. AnnieMae

    My diary of random thoughts

    I will always be a loser with no friends! No life! None of my dreams came true! Only the nightmares! Only the goddamn nightmares came true!!!!! I fell in love with a manipulator! Psychics aren’t real! And I will never have the life I want because I am a “nice” person. All because I don’t listen...
  24. AnnieMae

    My diary of random thoughts

    The problem is that I love someone that doesn’t love me back. And I cannot break the cycle of everything. My whole life is effed! I will never find someone! Nothing will ever be what it seems! I will never, ever, ever find someone and when I do, it will be forever messed up. No one can help me...
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