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I agree, it's very odd! :s A quick Google helped me discover I'm not alone and it can happen, particularly at lower doses (I'm currently on 125mg). GP is prescribing, under guidance of psych. I saw one about 18 months ago who 1st put me on it. My T wrote to my GP 6 weeks ago suggesting a...

Ok, so I have just had my dose increased. Only by 25mg at a time as I have a history of not tolerating drugs. Before at this dose I was very sedated. But, it's caused me to become manic: am working in fast forward; hate sitting still; incredibly productive & creative; excessive spending; hardly...

I've had both but not together. Mitazapine is the only drug that's worked for me (combined with quetiapine). Venlafaxine made me more suicidal :(

You are definitely a fighter :) You're determination is inspiring! Also living here in the UK I understand the need to find your own answers as the NHS is shockingly shit when it comes to mental health issues!! *groan* I find it so frustrating as everyday I battle not to be in crisis, but the...

If I'm triggered badlyI end up vomiting so whether or not I take xmy meds it makes no difference as they don't stay down :(

So, heard back from Pottergate. The letter was quite technical, but basically, I scored very highly on both questionnaires (the SDQ20 especially). This means there's a high chance I have a dissociative disorder... Not quite sure how to raise this with T. I think she's not going to be happy after...

@Echo I'm in Thames Valley too! :) (Berkshire) x

Me too :) I think there's quite a few xx

Thanks Mecca :) My friend that recommended it to me is a mental health advocate, so I'm helping she'll help too. I just want to know for sure what's going on. I need to get better, rather than allowing this to continue and be ignored. This is more than just a transient symptom, it's constant :(

?? I'm confused :s What are you getting at? Sorry, I don't get you.

Please move if I've put this in the wrong place... So, lots has happened since I last posted. Currently feeling very lost, overwhelmed, empty & low :( Saw T on Mon, but it was totally pointless. I was an empty shell. I had nothing to give and really struggled to talk and communicate. I did...

*Hugs* If you're in UK GPs/out of hours service/crisis mental heath team will come out to the house. They have in the past to me when I've been in crisis ... Soundslike hospital is safest place for him right now :( xxx

WOW! Thanks :) That was incredibly helpful :)I'm up to the fragmented part of the continuum.I can really relate to the 'living in your head'.

I just want to say how brave you guys are :) I have refused to have a smear test done as I would never be able to cope without serious flashback hell :( xxx

I take mitazapine. I've tried lots of different anti-depressants, but it's the only one that seems to work. I don't tolerate SSRIs at all - they make me very ill. :( & when I've tried SNRIs they've made things worse...

Thanks Ed :) I find them so much harder to manage than normal visual/auditory flashbacks.I did have some respite from them over the last year, but now seem to be returning more regularly... They were excruciating yesterday - felt like someone/something was inside me. I need to explore further...

There's a book about it written by Deborah Lee. My T used some of this approach with me which was helpful in getting me to be able to feel compassion towards little me rather than hatred & wanting to punish myself. I was referred to trauma service (woman who wrote book is in charge of...

Thanks guys :) Seem to have settled, for now at least...

Ooooouch!! Worst somatic flashback in a looong time... It hurts so much. Hate them as I can't control them. Hasn't been this bad in ages. I just want it to stop. Feel like I'm being punished... Feel so dirty... so painful :'( I've had a positive couple of days so why is this...

Having an 'outstanding' lesson observation :D Woohoo!!

Thanks for your input Hashi. I'm feeling very confused by everything, don't know what to do for the best right now...

Thanks Abstract I know BPD isn't my fault but feels like it sometimes. I will discuss my predicament when I see T next week. I spoke with her yesterday about where we go from here. She said that I'm on a journey and just need to tell myself I'm safe now. I don't think it's that simple tho...

Glad I'm not alone pencil - it's so hard! Hashi - we've done a lot of work in the past on attachment as it's a major issue for me. She's never abandoned me so luckily I haven't had to deal with it head on... Sigh... I just want everything to go away and to be ok again...

*Hugs * Pencil - it def fed into my feelings of being too much and unattainable... :( Hashi - I guess in some ways you are right but I don't think want to lot go, I don't want her to abandon me... ;(

LOL! If only BPD had more silver linings! I very rarely admit I have it due to prejudice, often share CPTSD label tho as makes me feel less ashamed. It acknowledges this isn't my fault. She has good intentions and genuinely wants to help, but don't think she has all the tools i need. Hard tho...