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Hi A few weeks ago I asked my cptsd partner for a hug when I was feeling down. All I needed at the time was 'Its ok darling, I'm here for you'. Instead she got angry, verbally/emotionally abusive and went into a tirade of bizzare untrue personal attacks. I was so hurt by that. Not only was I...

Setting boudaries is different for everyone. Think what you are willing and unwilling to put up with. You should then discuss this with your partner, letting him know clearly so there is no ambiguity. It may be best to wait until he is in a clear and present state of mind. It may be difficult to...

I'm also with @Casey_03 and @Friday on this. However you are looking at this, it is abuse. I have just had to remove myself from my relationship with a sufferer because of worsening Abuse. A boundary was crossed so I had to leave. I didn't want to believe me. it was so hard as I saw the lovely...

No, you're definitely not an idiot. The reason we put up with it is because we see the wonderful person struggling with a terrible condition, rather than seeing a terrible person. I received verbal abuse, emotional abuse, manipulation and controlling behaviour from my ex. She had untreated cptsd...

I suppose that depends on where he is at stress wise. My ex responded negatively when I said I missed us time. I think she saw it as pressure and isolated further. In fairness though, the isolation that @Never_falter is witnessing doesn't appear as deep from what she says. It could well work but...

@Never_falter I don't think it is too much to drink at current levels. My ex drank a bottle of wine and several beers EVERY night. It does sound like he is dealing with some internal stuff. Its good that he's using drawing as that is also a way of getting a bit of head space. It depends on how...

Thank-you for the lovely positivity in what is such a difficult time. You hit the nail on the head. Day by day, hour by hour and sometimes just getting through minute by minute is so difficult. (Same for @Mon15 too reading your previous post). But sometimes medicine tastes so awful while it is...

Its strange, it at the moment I am having difficulty remembering the bad times. I'm just thinking about the good times. In some ways that is making it harder to be away. However, you are quite right, remember the good times, wish them well is the only long-term way. Its such a common recurring...

@caligirl03 I've been trying to work this one out too. I was 'the one' and she regularly told me 'I love you'. Then in the next conversation she was blaming me for everything and making me out to be some monster. The anger and blame was never directed to friends, always to loved ones. This...

@Fadeaway I left my SO 10 days ago because of the same kind of verbal abuse. Twisting words, saying outrageous lies which were so untrue they were verging on the bizarre. I can only assume it was unresolved anger that possibly was directed at someone else from the past? She was not committing to...

@TheMinsterman and @Mon15 I'm with you on that. I miss my ex so much, I miss what we had, I miss the closeness and the loving connection we had. I miss that when she was present, we were so in tune. Strangers around us picked up on that too and commented on it. I have to accept though that...

That would be a great way of taking care of yourself. It has been invaluable for me.

@TheMinsterman, @Mon15 is absolutely right, it is ok to breakdown at times. In fact I believe it is essential. If emotion is not 'felt' it is turned inwards and can become things like depression. Feeling emotion lets it go. Its a hard thing when we are taught to just get on with things and not...

When we get to a low point, it always seems to happen that several things are falling around us at the same time. I feel for you. As we spoke before, you have to ensure you are strong in order to be able help anyone else. Its like they say on aeroplanes 'please fit your own oxygen mask before...

Can't agree more

Thank you for your post @Hojay That is so reassuring and great communication. My ex triggered when I asked but became very angry then isolated. She wouldn't communicate other than in anger. That makes sense. I think you hit the nail on the head here and that may well be the answer I was...

Agreed @Seeking I can't add to that.

This is what I was thinking. However, I still find it heartbreaking when someone says they love you cannot put their arms round you and say "Don't worry darling I'm here."

You're doing really well @TheMinsterman despite everything. I personally think you are being very rational despite the pain you're feeling. Its funny because I'm the eternal optimist and try to see the best in every situation, and that is sometimes to my detriment too. I can be too gracious...

My ex and I finished our relationship a week ago. I'm in the process of trying to figure out what went wrong and how I could have been better. I was generally very strong for her but one thing has been really puzzling. Can anyone shed anyone light on why my ex would be angry at me for asking...

Hi @TheMinsterman Here's a few more thoughts about your situation based on my experience. It may be blunt and/or not what you want to hear, but is is just my opinion taken from what you have been saying, which may or may not be correct. Its eye opening that your SO/ExSO has fallen out with all...

I broke up with my partner last week and if it is any solace to you, I know how you feel. I have been going through the 'what ifs' and 'how could I have done things differently'. I came to the conclusion I that on the whole I couldn't do any more and left. It was the hardest decision. But as you...

Hi @TheMinsterman Thank-you for confirming that. The reason I asked is that my ex suffered from physical and emotional abuse in childhood and also in a previous relationship. This contributed to her CPTSD. I would like to share some of my thoughts with you on my relationship. It may or may not...

@Mon15 I recently split with my SO because this was happening all the time. They would would say I was the best thing, then become distant for a while, then make me out to be a monster, they would shut down and disappear for a week, then contact me, apologise saying I was the best thing. Repeat...

Just read your latest post, and realised we'd crossed in the ether... but was abuse the source of PTSD? Again, please don't feel pressured to answer.