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My sufferer has complex PTSD from childhood abuse and honestly he is not there for me in the same way I can be for him. I just have to ask myself if he is worth it anyway. For me the answer is yes. We have found that we do best seeing each other about 2 or 3 times a week. Once with the kids (I...

I think you have to get out of the way of the drugs. If you are his support, you don't want it to become a point of contention and a reason he doesn't listen to anything else you say. I think thats a very hard thing to do. Provide him with the information he needs to get help and then step back...

The character in your story sounds like a predator. (And I am a woman, but I dont have PTSD) The way he moves sends a different message then what he says. Sort of. It does bring to mind the question of whether or not all sexual desire is predatory, maybe people who feel it together at the same...

I dont like being the person that has to share all that pain, but if you love someone do you have a choice? I dont feel like I have a choice, its a bond. I am the only one that can be there. There is never going to be someone for him that will get him the way I do. Im not sure they could even...

I think being a supporter is an act of faith. Basically with my sufferer I know that each day he is a different person. He started out by isolating himself whenever he didnt feel right and now he hangs out with me anyway. Used to be several days would go by where I wouldn't hear from him and now...

My personal theory, which I'm only stating on here, and I would never actually SAY to Winter, is that if you are a hardcore fundamentalist Christian and your beautiful boy child sexually arouses you, you are going to punish him for that. Thats why the times when Winter was beaten make no sense...

It's been like a week now since he has been his "normal self" I keep telling him he needs to get a therapist to talk to about this stuff. (He has a psychiatrist and a therapist but hes afraid to talk to them) Yesterday the kids were over my house and my 7 year old is inquisitive, so when he...

As a supporter I can definitely say that I am sad when I am shut out. When my sufferer isolates its hard not to take that personally. I know in my heart it has nothing to do with me, and in a way he has to do it. He is so present for me normally, that its a big change. When he tries to be around...

Winter does isolate, but he is doing that less now, because he is gradually becoming less selfconsious of his moods. His fundamental problem is that his abuser was his father, and he gives into low self esteem, rather then anger at his abuser. As far as we know at this point, it was just severe...

Thank you Stronger. I will be careful not to bring them up excessively. I am new to being with someone with PTSD. (Our relationship is only 3 months old) He has commented on his own moods in that he says its not natural for me to have to change my own behaviour so much. I tell him I want to be a...

Winter has moods. Actually, they seem almost like different personalities. When I see him, I never know, really what it is going to be like. Ive given them nicknames, they are so different. There is Silent Winter, seems like he is living in an internal landscape. doesn't show anything on the...

Disguise

I really dont understand how a psychiatrist can see you for only 15 minutes to a half hour and know enough to prescribe effectively. It also frustrates me when thats done with diagnosis. I think generally PTSD sufferers tend to be overmedicated or on the wrong meds.

So we live on the east coast of the USA and he is not a soldier or military person. He was abused by his police officer father. Is the term trauma therapist universal, or is it PTSD specialist, or are there other names it goes by as well?

Hashi-I like your answer. Im not sure what a trauma therapist is, so, Im pretty sure his therapi isnt one or he would have told me. He was originally isolating more then he is now. I do feel like as a friend, and someone who is becoming a lover, I would rather be a source of pleasure then pain...

Solara, I get you, and if we were planning on getting married or moving in together or something serious you would be right. We started out as friends. The friendship is still the most serious part of the relationship. We have no definition for where this is going. We aren't in a hurry to get...

Staying over is something we both wanted me to do. Currently the agreement is to put it off for a month and see if we can work on it. The dissociation doesnt happen when no one is there, which may make it hard for him to work on by himself. He's on seroquel for it. He does have a therapist who...

We both take sleep meds, so thats not going to work. I thought of something unconventional...Restraints ? Not as part of a sexual game- more like restraining me so he knows he is safe.

How do you get over that? Apparently Winter was woken in bed by his father and physically attacked and beaten. According to him this happened many times. His mother has to take anti anxiety meds when she visits him because she is so terrified by the experience of watching him dissociate. Which...

So we did reach my suggested agreement, which was to back off on the whole sex thing for a month or so to take the pressure off him. And just do the dating kissing snuggling friendship thing. (Some of those kisses though...) And anyway, I told him my curfew was 11pm. He was very grateful that I...

Make some rules around the intimacy too. As a supporter I can tell you nothing is worse then venturing into uncharted territory without a map. Can you tell him what you want everytime you have intimacy? Like "I just want to cuddle and watch this movie," or whatever. Because intimacy is really...

I guess I don't look at our interactive style as less then normal though. I still get the touch and the intimacy, its just on his terms. Thats ok with me. Skipdo is in a worse situation because he is being deprived of physical contact as well as sex. Im not sure humans can live without physical...

So, I was wondering do you guys think it would take the pressure off if I set a few boundaries next time I talk tohim? I was thinking maybe necking only and an 11:30 curfew ;) For at least a month. My guess is thats's actually going to drive him much more crazy then it is me and it might just...

I did text him a response telling him the whole thing wasnt his fault and he needs to get counselling for the abuse and the ptsd. I also told him that if I have any say in the matter, he is not making my life miserable, In fact he has made it much better and I value his friendship a great deal.

I have been dating Winter (he has ptsd from severe physical and possible sexual abuse in childhood) for about a month now and Friday night he wanted me to stay over, and at about midnight he had a panic attack about it and had to take me home. I blame myself because I was too inn-attentive to...