Relationship Is It Really Over? Please Comment

[Sftbll2003]

I feel the same exact way you do. My boyfriend will not contact me at all. He will not answer my calls, my text, or emails. He still has my house keys and I have his, along with his dog tag. Is he trying to hang on while getting himself together by not returning my keys and not getting his belongings? The last time I talked to him he asked how I wanted to get my keys. I told him I would have to call him because I was at work.....haven't talked to him since. He will not respond to anything. I know exactly how you feel when you say, " I know what ya'll must be thinking "why not just leave him alone and let him come around", well here's the why, I invested so much of my heart, time and what not to this "relationship" and I feel I deserve it. " I do not know what to do...it's not that easy to "leave him alone" or "let it go". I hurt too!

 

[Badger]

My sufferer has complex PTSD from childhood abuse and honestly he is not there for me in the same way I can be for him. I just have to ask myself if he is worth it anyway. For me the answer is yes. We have found that we do best seeing each other about 2 or 3 times a week. Once with the kids (I have 2. and he has 1) and once or twice by ourselves.

I have to remind myself that I do not live in fear. He asked me that once -"Aren't you ever afraid?" I said "No, when are you afraid?" He answered "All the time."

For me to go his house, it requires putting on a jacket and driving over. He has to be afraid of someone coming into his space, he has to make sure everything is ok. He has to think about how hes going to feel when I get there. Add that to the toll taken by chronic pain from a messed up surgery, and psych meds and prescribed narcotics, hes exhausted just from hanging out. I can admire what he does from the point of view of how well I might do if I was in his shoes, or I can claim that I can do better because I never went through what he went through. And he has his strengths. Hes very patient. Incredibly softspoken. Athough he has a poor memory, he is consistent. He is a romantic intelligent companion, and if I wait to talk about something thats bothering me when he is in the headspace to deal with it, he always gives it his full attention.

And all of his quirks have gotten better since I met him...It all depends on how you look at it, I think.

 

[Iamhere]

I would like to update those who are reading this or following the thread. My sufferer and I are back together and stronger then before. He was unable to give me closure because he didn't want me to leave.

His reason for pushing me away was that he was afraid to take me down with him. I had to prove to him that I am strong enough to stand by his side and that he can trust me to be there when he's ready to face the world.

I gave him time and space without asking to see him or starting communication. I made sure to tell him that I love him and remind him how great of a man he is and how PTSD doesn't define him. 2-3 weeks later I saw him again and we are happily back together.

Now I'm not saying it's perfect because no relationship ever is, especially one with PTSD but its great and we have agreed to enjoy the good moments and discussed how we are going to communicate when he feels another episode coming.

I fought because I know there's love between us and it's based on a great friendship.

I feel the same exact way you do. My boyfriend will not contact me at all. He will not answer my calls, my text, or emails

Good luck... Educate your self in PTSD and take care of your self first and foremost.