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I think that not being able to picture how it would be or what it would feel like to ask for help, is a big part of why we don't do it. If you don't have a template for help seeking that has been developed and reinforced during your early development, then it is impossible to imagine doing, let...

I think I understand some of what you are grappling with Ayesha. If so, I am grappling hard with it too. My therapist pushes me hard about the need to ground myself in the here and now, not just in the literal sensory form, but in terms of where I focus my energies, awareness, concentration...

Gosh, Ayesha, you have no idea just how current and relevant and confronting this exact issue is for me. I too went through the entirety of my school days, including 8 years in a boarding school, carrying the silent secrets of the abuse that had occurred throughout my entire life and which...

Excellent thread, full of truths that resonate deeply with me and really good advice. I think that the framework of safety and support really is critical in the journey to uncovering and experiencing emotion, chiefly because those who have never learned to have emotion have never learned to...

Increasing to $5000? Really? Good grief!! I hadn't heard, but am hardly surprised. And yes, I forgot the small yet critical detail about the 20% thing - mostly it's hardly worth the bother. Maddog

Bubz, the links above may help to clarify, but in essence, in order to receive legal public access with your dog, it needs to be certified as Nicolette has linked above, either through a registered assistance dog training programme or by a licensed assessor in your state. Otherwise the dog does...

This is really exciting for you Bubz, I do hope you'll keep us informed as your journey together kicks off. Just out of curiosity, what tasks will/has your dog been trained to perform? Maddog

I usually avoid "me too" posts, but... me too! Self hate is a real blockage in my lungs right now. That may sound odd, but sometimes that's how it feels, like a physical mass that constricts my ability to live and something so all-consuming that it's hard to think about anything else. And in...

I think that therapy is a relationship and a process, and like all relationships and processes, it goes through phases of connection and momentum, and phases of stalling and struggle. And obviously, given the nature of the issues being discussed, it's totally inevitable that there will be...

Absolutely not, though I am very familiar with all of the negative self talk that tries to convince you that you are. I do believe that we need to find what gives our lives meaning and purpose, and to strive to pull towards those things. But whether that is work, or art, or healing, or...

Becky, this was one of the most inspiring and uplifting things I have read in a long long time. I want to keep it actually, and to think of it, both on the times I can also feel that high of exercise and hard physical exertion, and the times when I can't, but want to... Exercise keeps me...

Angel2write, I feel a mix of relief and sadness for you, relief at the fact that you now have an accurate diagnoses and a structured way forward, and sadness at the length and complexity of this journey. I don't have DID, I have PTSD, but I wanted to comment on what you said about the...

Oh absolutely, I figured it was only me... which is a very typical cognitive distortion of mine! I use a screenreader and sometimes even subtle changes, including those which are designed to make things more user friendly for other people, can prove to be an absolute nightmare as certain things...

Mayday, I just wanted to say that what you wrote about the symbolism of your self harming really struck something in me. I had truthfully never thought much about this, but as I read what you wrote, something snapped in my head, particularly in relation to the never letting yourself heal, and...

Yes, a hot/cold shower (depending on the season) is good, or even just changing my clothes and immediate environment, eg, if sleeping in my bed, going out to lie on the lounge instead etc. Fresh air is priceless. Often I will go and sit out on the patio for a while and just breathe in the...

I understand Xena. I rarely say that, but this time I think I do, everything you said. I know that the empty platitudes don't helpme much at times like this, so I won't deflect them to you. All I'll say is... you are not alone, you are heard, and you are valued here. Those things count...

Oh yes, the endlessness of it all can feel soul-destroying at times. And the sad irony of therapy is that one of the markers of progress does indeed seem to be the discovery of deeper layers of gore that you didn't even know were there... It's hard when your therapist seems so enthusiastic...

Zaniara, you made me ponder something, which also fitted with Pencil's story about the children playing nearer the building when the fence was gone (sorry, I can never be bothered fiddling round with the quoting thingy...) When I was a child, one of the scariest unpredictabilities of life was...

Erg, bad time for me to be seeing this thread, even worse time for me to be responding... What you both said, a thousand times over. The thing is, I do believe in love... for other people. I believe in it because I think i've witnessed it from a distance, and I even think I kind of know it...

I almost wish there wasn't so much bloody fantastic discussion going on on this forum at the moment, because I'm not really able to keep pace with it personally, and that's sad, seems like a wasted opportunity or something... These great threads always make me think of my therapist actually...

Thumbs up to the need for a license to parent, though I did also have to smile at the concept of how much emptier this forum would be without us all... It is with sadness, but honesty, that I fear I would never apply for such a license. Not that I would ever, ever, intentionally or knowingly...

Interesting. I most definitely hit all sorts of patches of very low energy/motivation/engagement with life, sometimes briefly, and sometimes for much longer periods of time. For me these are strongly correllated with times when my depression is particularly bad, and so I tend to consider them...

Pencil, you did make me laugh, a lot, and I'm nowhere near as good at putting words together when I'm overtired. But there was something hilarious at the image of me as an upside down baby mammal flailing around for life... kind of says it all really. I agree, he probably does care. Lots of...

I never, ever, not even once, turned around and fought back against my father, and yet I do believe that in me he sensed and loathed a form of unyielding defiance that was a big part of why he not only hated me, but pursued me so ruthlessly in an attempt to break me. I don't really ever...

Yes, scary, and in some way I can't really explain, it feels like betrayal. Yes, I know, that makes no sense... until it does. Maybe I was right all along. Maybe part of it is the sense that to attach to someone is to reach out and touch something sacred I can't ever have, and which hurts all...