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Search results

  1. Blackjack

    Depression, Safe Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts

    I am at the end of my tether. I am a laughing stock. I am deeply depressed. I am excessively anxious. I think about dark actions constantly. I don't want to be me any more. I can't do it. I care for and worry about people that don't want me to care for or worry about them. I am a nuisance to...
  2. Blackjack

    News Mh17

    Casey03, I really feel your pain. My trauma was caused by an aircrash inwhich two men that I knew died. I had to identify them whilst they were still in the wreckage and it was horrendous, truly horrendous. I won't ever get those images out of my head either. I have awful flashbacks and...
  3. Blackjack

    Dealing With Trauma Anniversary

    Aut555, thank you. I am going to go to the crash site, lay some flowers and just be.. Let however I feel happen. I was going to do that on the Saturday morning at the time of the crash, a friend was going to come with me but can't do that now but the Day before will be better than nothing...
  4. Blackjack

    Dealing With Trauma Anniversary

    I am guessing that this has been covered before but I am approaching my trauma anniversary and it is always a hard time for me but this is the first year since my diagnosis and I am already struggling with it and it's not until 22 October so a month tomorrow, which in itself is almost like...
  5. Blackjack

    I Miss My Chat Peeps!!

    Aw thank you Mim, it's incredible how valuable chat is to us all. That connection with folk who understand and accept us as we are, however that may be. Missing everyone and feeling very down. Big hugs to you Mim. Will PM you tomorrow as got to sleep now :hug:
  6. Blackjack

    I Miss My Chat Peeps!!

    Miss you too Mim. Really struggling without the wonderful support of chat. Didn't realise how much I have come to rely on it. Take care Mim x
  7. Blackjack

    Imagine

    You are welcome Snowflake :hug: Sorry if it sounded a bit clinical but it was the only way I could write it down. It hurts like hell. :cry:
  8. Blackjack

    Imagine

    Someone that loved me Someone who didn't tell me I was a mistake Someone who didn't tell me they didn't want me Someone who gave me affection Someone who didn't constantly hit me Someone who was proud of me
  9. Blackjack

    Really Worried And Scared

    Thank you Sandstone, I appreciate your help very much x
  10. Blackjack

    Really Worried And Scared

    Thank you so much for your kind words of support, and suggestions. Sadly moving home is not an option for several reasons. When my dad went into the care home he made me promise I would stay with mum so she wasn't on her own and I don't want to go back on that. He would be very disappointed...
  11. Blackjack

    Really Worried And Scared

    I am hoping that some of you might be able to help me or offer me some advice. All throughout my PTSD diagnosis and up until now, I have been working full time. I had been seeing a qualified therapist privately as the NHS wait was so long and I have now swapped to a lady that I have been...
  12. Blackjack

    Relationship Accidentally Triggered My Girlfriend's Ptsd. How Do I Help Her?

    My apologies CPTX, I did not mean to cause offence. Riot, my apologies too
  13. Blackjack

    Relationship Accidentally Triggered My Girlfriend's Ptsd. How Do I Help Her?

    Just a thought, but why don't you show her your post that you have put on here? Let her see that you have publically declared how upset you are about the accident and that you are asking people to help you to help her? It would show her that you care about her, her feelings and that it was a...
  14. Blackjack

    I Can't Cry. And I Really Want To

    Hope, I can totally feel your pain with this one as I was exactly the same for a long time. Things have now gone the other way for me though and I am constantly on the verge of crying a large amount of the time and have to work hard at holding it in when it is not an appropriate time. It will...
  15. Blackjack

    An Unsettling Dream

    I had a rather unsettling nightmare last night. It started off as they usually do with all the normal stuff about the accident scene of my trauma. It then flicked to being at my flying club still on the same day. It then progressed to a male friend of mine giving me a hug and then him saying...
  16. Blackjack

    Life Changer

    Thank you so much for your kind and supportive comments, I really do appreciate it. It's good to know I am not alone with this. I will get through it, I have no choice, but it's hard right now. Thank you so much though, you are a source of great strength and encouragement.
  17. Blackjack

    Life Changer

    I am hoping that some of you can throw some thoughts or opinions into the mix for me. I started seeing a counsellor in April in conjunction with my PTSD diagnosis. I have had 6 sessions with him and he then had a holiday which meant that I had a 6 week break from seeing him. While I was...
  18. Blackjack

    Opening Up

    CMan, I am exactly like that too. I was brought up being taught that it was wrong to be ill in any way and so I guess that's partly why. I find it incredibly hard to open up about my feelings. I just smile and say I am fine when I am anything but. I know it doesn't help me at all but I can't...
  19. Blackjack

    Triggered - How Long Does It Last?

    I don't know yet Digger. Came in about 2am this morning, been on IV for dehydration and anti nausea. they still doing bloods and stuff. Took too many pain meds. Been admitted to ward. I have not mentioned my PTSD yet, scared of what it might lead to. Think they might know though, they...
  20. Blackjack

    Triggered - How Long Does It Last?

    Hi Eve, I was on citalopram but had to come off of them so that I could take the strong painkillers for my back injury. Doctor took me straight off them, no tapering or anything. I am so sorry that I keep getting these crisis times, I hate it and really hate being a nuisance and bothering...
  21. Blackjack

    Triggered - How Long Does It Last?

    Thank you for the help and the support. I really appreciate it. I have been physically sick three times this afternoon, I can't get warm, am hyper vigilant and feel on the verge of tears all the time. I know exactly what caused it and why but I would rather not say as it involved one of our...
  22. Blackjack

    Triggered - How Long Does It Last?

    I was very suddenly and very strongly triggered in the early hours of this morning. Reacted really badly to it, kept crying, felt sick, was dizzy, awful flashbacks and panic. I eventually went to sleep after swallowing pain killers and Ativan. Felt really exhausted when I woke up and not up...
  23. Blackjack

    Not Hospital But Something Similar Maybe?

    Digger, I will be doing something of the kind. I have one friend who I am sure would help me like that. I just need some time away from here. Despite the large amount of pain I been in it's actually been nice to spend the afternoon in bed, largely asleep, just to get some peace.
  24. Blackjack

    Not Hospital But Something Similar Maybe?

    SheilaKathy, I do need to. I badly need a break. Soon as my back is bit better I will book something
  25. Blackjack

    Not Hospital But Something Similar Maybe?

    I have been looking into this a bit more but it seems that the only places are stupidly high money. £5000.00 per week!!!! If I do anything, it will just be checking in to a hotel I think.
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