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Sleep deprivation getting the best of me. tired, anxious but underneath that I know I'm safe and I'm OK. That's a comforting feeling

Anxious. Attachment/trust issues today. Trying to stay present and vulnerable. Resisting the urge to "hermit" ptsd related fog is better today. I can think clearly and focus. Bad night of insomnia and nightmares though

Mental chaotic fog is lifting and I can focus and I have energy. I've decided to take a short break from therapy. Let my mind settle. I feel empowered, grateful, and energized. It's been a month coming!

I understand your questioning if it's worth it and my mother played that self doubt game. Because she was afraid to leave completely and told herself it wasn't bad enough to justify leaving the whole family and therapy I suffered. I was the child caught in the middle, passed around and used...

Ugh, that makes my heart hurt for you @Junebug. Words can hurt so very bad, Hugs if you wish. Remember you're not alone, chin up and press on.

Ok, I've totally been there and used to beat myself up over disassociating. I saw it as a sign of weakness or failure. HOWEVER my therapist told me this is a skill I learned for survival. The ability to disassociate saved my sanity. Kept my personality from splitting. Gave me a "safe place"...

When you inner voice is really just everything they told you to believe about yourself because you never had the opportunity to develop independent self image. When you grow up self harming from preschool age because you were taught it by an abuser. I don't remember ever NOT self harming...

When you never had a "true self" before the trauma began because it began in infancy. Who would you have been, what love language would you have had. When the trauma is so complex and long lasting the triggers are too numerous to avoid and too many "anniversaries" to even track. When...

I have a cat who can tell when I'm struggling. It's so obvious, you can bet when she's sitting on me and especially when she's purring I'm, having a really hard time. Sometimes she notices before I do. It's also a great sign for my husband, he knows to be extra kind when she's me.

Yeah, been there too! Newness can be crippling! Be patient and hopefully at the next meeting you'll be relaxed enough to speak up.

So many growing pains!!! I never let anyone close, never expressed emotion, never cried, never trusted anyone. Just like you I started getting better and progressing. This also made me realize how much I had isolated myself, and how much joy this world and people had to offer that I was...

I completely understand the lonely part. I have a loving husband and a best friend who would do anything for me. But in the end neither can truly understand what I'm feeling or experiencing. Still spend most nights of terror alone. That's why we come here, where we're not alone and we can be...

The PTSD asskicking fog is beginning to lift. Super intense EMDR session brought me out of disassociation. After weeks of being completely numb I woke up to a stiff and painful body and a ton of ignored emotions. Today I feel like I have a grip on life, I have support when I need it even if...

Mentally and physically exhausted. Slept 17 hours in the last 5 days. Emotionally totally numb and trying to wake those emotions up! Triggers are less intense today though.;)

Fearfully numb....can't seem to bring myself out of disassociation. So I'm not feeling much, which is alarming

Numb and disassociated (flashbacking) Disappointed in lack of support Lonely Fearful of my flashbacks

That's a big realization and inner truth! I remember the day I finally realized I have a good heart. I have kept my heart kind through it all. ❤