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There has been significant abuse over a long period of time. It sounds like your mother is happier denying the abuse that was in front of her eyes than protecting you, which she ought to have done. I haven't had this situation, but I know others on here have felt it necessary to cut off...

I see there was already a thread about this, but it didn't seem to answer my questions. I had EMDR 3 days ago, for the first time. I don't have a memory, but there is evidence to suggest I experienced CSA at about 3 or 4 years old. For quite a while, my mind wouldn't let me in so to speak...

I wonder if it would help for him to read up a little more on complex PTSD, as I think that is where the interpersonal stuff can be very triggering. If he was willing to. It sounds like he cannot reconcile how PTSD feels for him to what you are experiencing. Would he be willing to have a...

It sounds like a terrible situation to be in. I feel for you. I hate to say this, but as Solara said it sounds like a personality disorder. I'm thinking maybe Borderline. Do you yourself have any access to a therapist, who may be able to help you extricate yourself?

@StrongerNow It's nice to see you back by the way. I've only been around here since October last year, but I remember you from then! Thank you so very much for posting that - it's hard to concentrate right now, but what did get through I really identified with.

Very dissociated most of today, still having aftereffects from EMDR. @Miss_Understood I'm sorry you are feeling so rotten right now. Hugs if that's ok. :hug:

As for trigger warnings on this site, as far as I'm aware it is ok to speak freely, it is up to the reader to use their own discretion on what they can handle. The problem with trigger warnings is that what might be triggering for one person might not be triggering for another. Writing it...

There's something called "WD40" - I don't know if you have it in the UK? It's used for things like squeaky door hinges, and of course engines - it's a metal lubricant. Now I know it sounds like a funny thing to use but it has really saved me before! My 2yr old (at the time) drew on a wall...

Hey @IndigoSky , Welcome to the forum. I would urge you to talk to the doctor about this, and see if you can be referred to a psychologist. You've experienced something harrowing, and are having some reactions that suggest it has affected you significantly. It's very, very difficult to get...

Awww! He looks like a sweetie!

That's awesome!

plant

You'll remember when your psyche feels you can cope with it. At least, that's what I've been told! There is already a record of what you told the hospital etc, so it isn't imperative that you remember right now. You have enough to cope with already! Hope your appointments go well today.

@mytai - I hope you get some rest soon, considering what time it is there. I am starting to calm down. Thank you so much for your support.

Thank you, yes. I'm not thinking straight. I will try and read for a bit, and if I can't concentrate, I'll try and watch TV. I'm just starting to wonder if I might be more unstable due to a massive flashback I had in my first EMDR a couple of days ago.

@Junebug and @mytai thank you for your support. It means so much to me right now, especially considering the time of day it is for you. I am trying hard not to lose it. Cuddled one of our guinea pigs. She's so sweet, it helped a little bit. I'm scared of interacting with my husband in any...

This is getting worse. I did not lash out at him, rather it was the other way around. He yelled at me again, and I had to walk away, which he took badly, and now he is acting really disappointed in me, and has isolated himself in our room. I think it might in part be due to his having had to...

Coming down from feeling overwhelmed. My husband, instead of giving me space when I desperately need to calm, instead goes on the attack and wonders why I react so much. I had experienced a fair bit of stress today, and finally managed, with the help of my son's psychologist, to convince him...

@WillowMarie I've always thought of contempt as being a mix of disgust and anger. I looked up the dictionary and it said to regard something as "vile" and "worthless" and "beneath one's dignity" - that seems to add to how I feel about the word too. Like @franciemarnie said - it's as if he was...

This sounds like a good idea. I would struggle with it too, as my father would make nasty remarks all the time, but I barely remember any of them bar one or two. It was the contempt in his voice that I remember - if someone speaks to me with that tone conveying contempt - I'm triggered. As...

Not entirely, but there was stuff as a kid. My trauma originates from early CSA too, but I had a lot of "sick days" from school. Yes, I did have legitimate symptoms, like anxiety symptoms (which was likely PTSD), but my mother paid a lot of attention to sickness. She paid more attention to a...

Some dissociation today, after EMDR yesterday. Feeling a little bit less anxious, which is good.

These things really mess up our already shaky ability to feel safe. I read about that shooting incident in the news. Something sort of similar happened in my neighbourhood about a year ago, where a policeman was shot and killed, and I heard the shot, but didn't know what happened until I heard...

Thank you both. I never even thought of it as a flashback, which is weird as well. We started the session with a picture in my mind of one of my flashbacks, but it's a visual one. They are usually visual, but with no memory attached, but I get a lot of emotional ones too. They have been bad...

@laurie71 You are inspirational. Wow.