Search results

When I feel what you describe I call it flooding. Its as if all the boundaries I had around my fear fall down and all that I want to keep away from comes flooding in. Is that what it's like?

Yeah. It worked when I was younger. It would trigger dissociation. But I found much more efficient ways to trigger dissociation. I still like loud music, but I don't dissociate because of it. I don't like dissociating any more. It used to give me distance from the trauma, and in that way I...

Don't have advice right now. Thinking about being in your shoes puts a knot in my gut. I used to be so damned shy I'd disappear if anyone noticed me. Lately I have learned that people aren't looking for my flaws. They aren't searching for my inconsistencies or weaknesses. In fact, they...

I agree with all of the above. The problem with trying to go into the details before you are ready is that it can make everything harder to handle, or harder to clarify, or just down right crushing. Forgetting happens for a reason. If you want' to remember, be gentle. Do it slowly. I had...

Don't leave, Solara. Remember that everyone on here is a little off. I've really appreciated your posts, including those when you are struggling. I think some people just want us to be perfect so they don't have do deal with it. (I sometimes wish I was perfect so I didn't have to deal with me...

Sometimes I'll be wondering what I feel and ask my self what my face feels like. If I'm smiling, I'll know I'm happy. I know that sounds a little crazy, but it works. I'm reassured by noticing my own smile.

Over the last few years I let go of the idea that I will ever be like other people. I'm who I am, with all my quirks. If anyone says to me I should be over it, then the PTSD becomes none of their business. I don't handle shaming well, and have a low tolerance of it from others. "Should" in...

I had to be very sure of my problem before I came on this forum. I am not very good with getting challenged. If I failed to describe the complete nature of my PTSD then anyone here could have diagnosed me with something else. Then I would have fallen apart. And I have in the past provided a...

Pop psychology. That true. I've been badly hurt by pop psychology. It's not all harmless. At the same time, when people have gone through something difficult they try to put words to it to make it better. I know PTSD is used in many cases when it doesn't apply. But not all...

If my heart was racing still from last night I would know that there's something more going on then just an argument. I have an ex wife who I did the same thing with. We had some time apart, then didn't get back together. Relationships are complicated. I wish you the best with yours. (Or with...

My mother didn't die of suicide, but she threatened it often. If she would have died it would have been traumatic. As it was, her threats were emotionally abusive, and, yes, traumatic for me. Welcome to the forum. No diagnosis from me either, but I can relate to the decline you described...

Welcome to the forum. I haven't personally had a choice to be a mess or not. You are probably in the right place, starting therapy and all. It's okay to give yourself a break.

It's not always been the craziness of crappy relationships that has done me in. Sometimes it's been my own fears. I've been dealing with PTSD issues for a long time. I left another relationship last spring because she was getting way too passive-aggressive with me. Couldn't do it any more...

PTSD has ways of making time, 4 years or 40, not matter. Time doesn't in itself lessen the sense of threat from that abuser. Neither does getting away, moving to another planet, or the abuser dying. I've been genuinely terrified like you. Still get there. I'm up in the middle of the night...

I hate videos like these because given enough pressure, I can be as ignorant and stupid as anyone. I hate being cornered like that. I also hate that this is just for the shock factor. Videos like this drive ignorance and create stereotypes and give unsinvested viewers great stuff to whine about.

For a while now I have said that people are crazy. And that doesn't resolve it for me either. People are not crazy, they are only limited. Families are limited. Laws are limited. Institutions are limited. They're all limited by fear, greed, doubt, distraction, and a thousand other things...

When I was first admitted to a hospital I had to leave work ( in the military), and I thought I wouldn't return. Everything was so crazy. My fear and anxiety were through the roof. I was diagnosed with something very scary, and was ready for my life to end. But I kept my eyes and ears opened...

I like texts a few times a day. But the texting thing isn't really about PTSD, right? I know there's a wide spectrum of how people like to communicate with their partners. Anyone can get crazy about that. The "mask" thing is about PTSD, at least for me. I have used what I call "camouflage"...

One event is quite enough. The trauma echoes though your life. I had multiple events. I didn't recognize any trauma until I was 27. I was able until then to sedate and forget using alcohol. (Not recommended.) Since then they've come to light one by one. I read a little on CPTSD, and...

Been there. Emails are hard. Spilling the beans is hard. Keep it up, but its okay to be gentle with yourself. It's okay to be gentle with your therapist too. I've got mine to cry, to get really, really mad (not at me, but my abuser), and to just not know what to do next. Sometimes I feel...

Unicorns and Glitter

I am not as weird at work as I used to be. I never made explanations to my employers because I could never find the right words. I don't think it would have mattered anyhow. I can be so hard on myself, and imagine so much about what I do that isn't true. It could be that you don't have to...

And the confusion will continue, not because what's in you, but because what's in him. Here is how I understand my own symptoms: the confusion is horrible in me, and I let people know what my feelings are the best I can, through images, lashing out, and other seemingly odd behavior. If I...

Damned PTSD is unpredictable. Supporter, but the way, means a lot of different things to me. Could your question be in hopes of having control, or predictability? Well, if that's the case, (and I'm making some big assumptions here so sorry if I'm wrong) then you may not get what you want. I...

That's how I feel too. Welcome.