Dissociation Induced By Loud Music

[katiekat]

I told my therapist about something I do sometimes and was wondering if anyone else does this. She asked me if I dissociate and I said I'm not sure, but sometimes I will blast my music really loud and lay next to the speaker and I am awake but im not aware of anything, like my mind has turned off. Anyone else do that and is it a type of dissociation?

 

[Seagreen]

No I don't but my son does and it seems to be calming for him. He doesn't have PTSD but suffers from anxiety.

 

[Intrepid]

Yeah. It worked when I was younger. It would trigger dissociation. But I found much more efficient ways to trigger dissociation.

I still like loud music, but I don't dissociate because of it. I don't like dissociating any more. It used to give me distance from the trauma, and in that way I could find relief, but now It only gives me distance from myself.

 

[Lukie]

Yeah, except for me I like going for drives and turning the music loud. It stops the thoughts for that little while.

 

[Friday]

The opposite (I'm pretty sure) for me.

I first used loud music in clubs, out partying, between training missions. Total sensory overhaul. Purr. Music so loud I could feel it in my bones, flashing lights, pure black, bodies, movement... It was (is still) one of the most relaxing things in the world to me... A break from over active senses.

I still use loud music when I'm upset. To the point of needing to replace my speakers on a fairly regular basis in my car. I lean up against the ones in my door, can feel the vibrations -again- in my bones, and I use the tempo to mess with my heart rate. Can bring me down from a panic attack by first matching my heart rate (usually Punk or 1/16th beat rap if my pulse is really flying), and then I keep stepping it down by genre. So I grab my heartbeat, and then gradually settle it down. Sometimes I also match my emotions, other times I go for the inverse. Depends on whether I need to bleed it out or shift gears.

Music and dance are ways I reconnect, instead of disconnect.

Wether it's dancing on or in front of speakers bigger than I am in a club, pressed full body up on the Marshall amp in my living room, or circled up against the door in my car. Gets me out of my mind, and back in the world.

 

[katiekat]

@FridayJones I also use it to connect to my emotions, but I see that as the opposite of how I use it to dissociate. If I've dissociated I don't feel or think anything. I'm barely aware of myself and my surroundings. Both are ways of soothing but totally opposite. If I really want to emotionally connect to my trauma I will listen to music from that time period. It's about the only way I can feel deep honest emotions.