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Freddyt- yes, expecting and planning helps so much. One of the issues that I have is that I get kind of depressed and sometimes irritable. My husband doesn't understand this much. I sometimes want to isolate, and am more sensitive to things. In the meantime, Im just riding out this wave.

Here I am again. Cannot sleep....til I do....then cant wake. Unfortunately using alcohol to sleep but it keeps me awake-I know better. Stopped at bar tonight and was talking to social worker (Im a retired counselor). He asked me about all my traumas? Why,? hell if I know. dont know if talking...

Weemie I am so sorry for what you have been thru, and it absolutely does change your world view when it is someone such as law enforcement. Seems like I have had years when Dec. wasn't so triggering. This one is not starting out well. For years after the incident, I didnt sleep at night and...

I can't believe it is happening again. I was assaulted by a cop Dec 16, 2008. I am getting along pretty good. I do have issues. I haven't cried in all these years. Also, I have a great deal of empathy for others, but dont express it as I use too. Its like things dont effect me because I am numb...

Awe sweetie, welcome to the forum. I have nothing to really relate to you, but I have bits and pieces and I care. After a childhood with no care, I ended up in a orphanage at age 11. While it was safe at the time, borders on abuse these days.. Went back home to mom, but left within a year to...

When the pain is so great, its not unusual to avoid activity that seems to aggravate it, but when activity is avoided for too long, its easy to become de-conditioned. Brings out depression and anxiety and anything else that is lurking in the mind. Now a trip to the grocery store wears me out.

I have sat back, and am forgotten. Im not complaining. Im just saying that people forget quickly. I doubt if anyone even remembers all that I use to do. My kids say they do. Im just sorry you are going thru this and have to feel this pain. Physical pain is a monster to have with ptsd. Always...

Whiteraven, I hope you are feeling better. In one of your posts you said how you keep pushing thru and working and volunteering and everyone thinks its not that bad, and maybe you should just quit and rest. I seriously dont advise that. I pretty much did that and not having a schedule and...

Nevermore-Thank you for letting me know. Im a hanging in there.

Initially I felt the panic. Wearing masks and distancing of course, but wiping down groceries and disinfecting everything. I feared covid due to my age and pre existing lung condition. I feel like I have gone thru an entire series of emotions. I don't socialize much and like it that way, but NO...

My head injury changed so much about me. 1. I had difficulty retrieving the right word I was looking for in a conversation or writing a report. 2. Having always been direct and concise, particularly in answering a question, I had difficulty answering or reporting in chronological order. 3. I...

Im sorry Eve. Good point artie. When something happens, I tend to ruminate about things and it is very self destructive for me. Very hard to stop.

I have to admit that I did not read every word that you post. It was too painful for me. Im 63 and still dont have my shit under control. So I also didn't read others posts because I dint want them to influence me. I am sorry if this hurts anyones feelings. I am so damn critical of myself that...

You are outraged (more than normal) when old white men decide that women cant have an abortion, even though you are past child bearing years. When you remember what it felt like to be raped by a husband and feared pregnancy even though you were spared that. For the overturned decision to make...

Im so sorry. That sucks. Im so glad you caught it before it was worse. Sending hugs and wishing you a speedy recovery. I also agree about the C-diff. Please get it checked

@CoolBreezeonahotday , that is sort of how I feel and what I am saying. I do feel heard but only by very few. Those are the ones I will also push myself for even it I would like to avoid. I know there are good people out there, and I use to like to make new friends. Being older and less energy...

Rosebud it doesn't come naturally to me at all. In my family, I have always been the fixer. Others could always count on me to jump in and take over. I didn't know how to ask for help...or was too proud...anyway I didn't. For the most part, not much was offered to me because I appeared competent...

white raven, when you CAN stay in your bed, its a bit bittersweet. You discover the world goes on without you and never notices your absence for a large part. But the comfort is OH So Good to be in the quiet and nothing is expected anymore. If I didn't feel so bad physically, I think I would...

@whiteraven, what I meant by positive is that you are "showing up" at least. For myself I have found that when I quit showing up, its easier to not show up the next time. I feel a bit guilty about what Im about to say......I love staying in my bed. I can add a cover or take one off and am...

whiteraven thank you for your post. I can relate on several levels. Im 63 with some physical problems for starters. Also have difficultly feeling I have a purpose and am and also disenchanted with society in general. I use to be a true extrovert and loved socializing. Its almost painful now. It...

1. @Rosebud, glad to offer a chuckle. I really mean it though. I have spent most of my life serving others and making them priorities and was happy to do so. Im tired now, not planning on dying anytime soon, but at 63, the life thats left is going to be on my terms. I planting my butt here and...

6. Rosebud, there is an alternative to suicide. Sometimes staying here feels like just going thru the motions. Not that I have the answers-I do not. But I really hope you find a reason to stay. I know I have a right to take up space here until its my time, and to make myself as comfortable as I...

1. Too much physical pain today 2. Didn't follow thru with what I needed to do. 3.Gave my dog a soccer ball I bought for my grandson, will replace before they visit. 4.Feeling sorry for my husband for my lack of ability to be a companion right now. 5.Really need to get some sun. Never this pale...

@Rosebud, I could have written your first paragraph. Pretty much my thoughts exactly. I do think its easy to confuse bad people when in fact its "bad behavior". Seems that humans are so self serving anymore. Did not feel like this when I was younger. I see it more as I age.

I had a couple sessions and it did not work for me. I dont know why, but was like I couldn't tune in.