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Wow. Thank you everyone for your responses. There is a LOT to ponder. Safenow, GREAT post. I hear you. Today I went to visit my daughter (youngest of the girls, I have six kids), and my granddaughter. We have had NC for awhile because her baby daddy is abusive. My daughter has health issues at...

Raven, By the way, great thread this has been, enlightening for me and very intelligently discussed by everyone. Great food for thought. I'm glad you posted!

Raven, I did, on another thread already. :)

Pencil, Hence this is where the confusion lies for me. I realize i can be an 'asshole', however, defining where my assholeness derives is important to me. You cannot fix what you are unaware of. When you become aware, then it's SOLUTION TIME. I have confusion about what is PTSD, what is not...

Monster, I hope the surgery works for you! I am SO envious, ugh! I have a feeling that surgery would restore quality of life for me. I understand completely about the pain in the legs. this has bothered me too for months, as well as pain in my hips and through out my butt and a nagging pain in...

I thought I'd better start a new thread, rather than hijack Raven's. This is very hard for me to write, but necessary because I find myself in a very painful place with my children and it has caused major triggers for me. I know this is something I MUST look at realistically in my efforts to...

I hope this isn't too much information here, but as a parent, I'm struggling with something. I don't want to hijack your thread, Raven, so maybe I need to start another thread. I need to know if my behaviors are PTSD related.

PENCIL!!! Wow, you just enlightened me with your post!!! UGH! I have more thinking to do....

Monster, I'm in therapy and we discuss this from time to time. It isn't the pain so much I 'struggle' with as the changes to my life that I do. I don't know how bad your spine is, but my neck is described as 'a train wreck". I have severe cervical spinal stenosis and cord impingement, foraminal...

I so understand your pain. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.. I'm on narcotic pain meds, daily and have been for quite some time. I recently had my dose elevated, when I had just titrated down to the lowest dose, with two autoimmune under control, I lifted a 20 pound laundry basket and it...

Phillipa, What you're doing is called BOUNDARIES, something many of us DON'T have when coming out of childhood abuse. It's sad that we perceive having boundaries and protecting ourselves as being "cold" to others, because it's really not. The world has changed drastically over the last several...

Raven, I understand how you feel and there IS some truth to what your perceptions are of the world. My therapist told me that she has VERY FEW in her life that she would totally trust. FEW, not many. Everyone has an agenda, EVERYONE. Although no one will tell you what it is. It's important to...

This is what I know about parenting and something that has greatly humbled me: There are no guarantees. Whether a child is raised in a healthy environment or not, there are absolutely no guarantees. We are human and we will make mistakes. Some can be corrected, others cannot. I don't know how...

((((((((((((((((( Spiderallis )))))))))))))))))))))))) Thank You. Part of the reason I stay at home, is not just for my safety, but for others too. I can be bitchy and no one deserves that. I've been here reading and posting a lot, as well as just processing a lot of emotions of grief. I...

Mom, I hear what you're saying. But there is a difference. While growing up, I had not ONE healthy nor stable example of what it was like to be a healthy human being. Many survivors that I mentor are incredible parents. Not all the survivors I mentor come to my blog because they were in...

Trib, Thanks so much for your response. It does help. It's a lot for me to ponder. One of the things in your post that had me smiling was about your dog. I have a wiener. My life would be completely lost without him. It's amazing what our pets can be to us. I do believe they have little...

You know, I can't find a reason to make my existence okay. I can't say that 'good' has come from abuse with all the struggles I've had to deal with. Most of the time, I can see a silver lining, perhaps due to the last trigger I'm still recovering from, I can't at the moment. I think any child...

Ayesha, It's a good decision....

I can honestly say, even though I love my children dearly and did the best I could with what I knew (not much), that if I had it to do over again, given my family genetics and generational and chronic abuse, psychopathy, depression and alcoholism, I would not have had children. The ONLY...

Wow... Enlightening posts... Trib,I hired an attorney from the get go. From filing to present. It relieved SO MUCH STRESS to do it that way. I agree with Monster. I've heard a lot of good things about Allsup, although I did not personally go through them. Here's the bright spot for you: You...

Thank you so much, everyone. Each post has been very helpful to me and validates what I'm already doing. I tend to see things in black and white. The middle ground here, from what I'm perceiving with your posts is that the choice is not about 'stopping' the trigger or 'curing' the PTSD, but to...

Wow. Very interesting posts. They resonate so well with me. I've found that in survivor support, survivors have the most difficult time detaching from what is the original trauma bond, the abusive parent, more so than they do a romantic partner or any other relationship. Continued contact with...

Tribulations. Thanks so much! I almost feel 'normal' with my responses and a very 'abnormal' disorder with PTSD lol! If that makes sense. Thanks for clarifying more for me, the community. I apologize if I sound ignorant about the gay community. I think in many ways I AM, but try to understand...

Tribulations, Your post has been invaluable to me. I fully accept and embrace my son's homosexuality. I support him fully. A friend of mine who has several gay male friends too, shared with me that "I don't have anything against gays at all, but their relationships are different in that you'll...

I"m curious about the above question. I experienced a huge trigger this last weekend and have not yet recovered from it. Is it possible that I'm just 'choosing' not to feel better? What happened was very traumatic and devastating to me. I have pontificated a lot about choice. I'm frustrated...