Can You "choose" Your Ptsd Away?

[Don't trip]

I"m curious about the above question.

I experienced a huge trigger this last weekend and have not yet recovered from it. Is it possible that I'm just 'choosing' not to feel better? What happened was very traumatic and devastating to me. I have pontificated a lot about choice. I'm frustrated that I can't seem to "choose" to get over this, but yet feel as if I'm grieving.

Thank you.

 

[Spiderallis]

If it were a deep cut on your finger, would you wait until it was infected to care for it? I hope not. That's what 'choosing' not to deal with things does, it just delays care and lets the issue fester and get worse. Nothing gets better from being ignored. Please don't 'choose' that, you're already here because you've chosen to heal. It's okay to heal at your own pace, take as long as you need to work through the grief and devastation. I'm very sorry that you're going through a rough time.

 

[KP the nut]

It's okay to heal at your own pace, take as long as you need to work through the grief and devastation.

This is good advice.

I am at a good place in my recovery. I recognise if symptoms are growing, especially if something has happened.

I now give myself permission to take time off to self heal. I allow myself to stay in bed, read a book or watch TV. I can even just stare into space. It is all right. I acknowledge my feelings and I am kind to myself.

It takes time to learn but it is worth it. When I need to do this, I no longer feel guilty, I deserve to be kind to myself.

(((HUGS))) If you will accept them.

 

[Core]

If you choose not to help yourself in any way, it could be said that you are choosing to stay just as ill. By helping yourself, I mean everything from trying to find something that could work for you, trying to get help, letting yourself grieve, acknowledging and working on your thoughts and feelings, finding time for giving yourself a break, practicing coping and grounding techniques, just about anything that's constructive. Like Spiderallis said, you may need to grieve and work through it, it can take some time, and ignoring how you feel won't help if that's the case.

 

[safenow]

When I was younger, I got a lot of that "suck it up" type of advice. I think you know the kind I mean. Well, I tried that, it didn't work. It just made things worse. But once I got to the point that when I needed to cry, I cried. When I needed to mourn, I mourned. When I needed to grieve, I allowed myself to grieve. I began to be able to function better.

Like this week. I have been thinking a lot about my sister this week. When I listed scars on another thread earlier it brought back so many memories. Most especially those from my early youth, which in turn brought my mind around to my sister. She used to step between the person who abused us which meant she got the worse of it.

Today, while I was downtown, I was sitting, thinking, and the tears were rolling down my cheeks. A sweet young girl came over and ask if she could sit by me while she waited for her friend. I said sure, and tried to stop crying. She confided some things with me, and in turn I told her about my sister. We talked for a long time. She told me I helped her, and I told her she helped me. Then we both went our way. Amazing. I never talk to strangers about personal stuff. I think being here on this forum has helped me to release emotion in an appropriate way.

I hope you can allow yourself the time you need to do whatever you need to do. And do it at your own pace. It is so healthy for you. Safe hugs if you'll allow them.

 

[therapybankrupt]

I'm frustrated that I can't seem to "choose" to get over this, but yet feel as if I'm grieving.

Dont trip I think if you read this quote of your own you get some clarity. You must be getting over something because you are grieving. I think that constitutes closure through grieving and you probably know what.

I do not know that anyone could just wish or wash away PTSD. It has real symptoms caused by trauma. Not something you choose to have. I have worked on this for 9 years. I now am on my way to reprocessing trauma and letting go of old schema's providing me only harm. I hope to be whole again and free from daily debilitating symptoms soon. I guess it did not happen overnight and will not go away that quick either.

I also do not believe someone would choose not to feel better. Ride the trigger like a wave and try not to give it to much power. See it for what it is. You know why it hurts so be kind to yourself as you get through the symptoms. Questioning your own truths do not help. Have you tried CBT or Emdr? Many people claim they have regained control of there lives by completion. Best of wishes on your journey.

TB

 

[aka]

Is it possible that I'm just 'choosing' not to feel better?

I have tried to do this many times with the result always being that I eventually breakdown and spiral into a deep depression. So no I think you need to be willing to heal but I would not see why anyone would not choose to feel better if possible. Sometimes I have no idea why I am freaking out so being able to choose not to have that emotion would require the reason for it in the first place. Not sure if this makes sense but to clarify I will try another example. I get sometimes get nervous with no real reason of why so how does one choose to be over it? Hope this makes sense if not I might try again tomorrow.

I'm frustrated that I can't seem to "choose" to get over this

Yeah this happens all the time and for me it usually feeds the emotions I am trying to get rid of. Its a lovely catch twenty two that can occur (sarcasm). Just know you are not alone in this and I see some really good ideas from other members who have posted. So give yourself some slack and remember that tomorrow is a new day. :)

 

[anthony]

I'm with @spiderallis

 

[Don't trip]

Thank you so much, everyone. Each post has been very helpful to me and validates what I'm already doing. I tend to see things in black and white. The middle ground here, from what I'm perceiving with your posts is that the choice is not about 'stopping' the trigger or 'curing' the PTSD, but to make choices merely to manage it. I'm greatly simplifying what you've all shared, I think and I hope not to the point where it seems offensive.

Today, I just stayed at home, except a trip to the grocery store. I'm reading into facial expressions and feeling like I have a neon sign on my back, screaming the words of the smear campaign the bf narcissist of my son waged that created the trigger in the first place. It was HUGE because exploitation of personally shared information was a huge abuse tactic growing up and into adulthood and probably the most painful for me. Anyway, I decided that I would just stay home. i remember feeling this way right after my last ex psychopath and I broke up. I felt extremely unsafe 'out there'. I feel the exact same way now and home feels very safe to me. I played with my dog (who is my heart) and cleaned my place, added some new changes to my living space to bring comfort to me. I read and researched.

My youngest son, who is an addict as well as disordered, came here this morning to get his birth certificate as he is leaving the state to go 'work' in another. I probably won't see him again for a very long time. He is my 'lost child' and I'm grieving him too. I'm also grieving through menopause, and empty nest, only one child now left at home who will graduate high school in June. I've been a mother for 30 years and raised six children. My eldest son is helping me financially, which really upsets me, and yet I am in no shape yet to work and my SSI is probably years away. I think what happened was the tip of the iceberg for me. I expect more loss, financially and emotionally and am trying to brace myself. My car and maybe my home. I am terrified. This didn't help.

The world feels very unsafe right now. Being at home, alone during the day, helps me to go through the motions and emotions of grieving and come to terms with new awareness that I now need to deal with.

In case you haven't noticed, I beat the absolute CRAPOLA about of myself. I have done this all of my life, never cutting myself slack or a break. When I do, I feel guilt for doing so. It never ends. I need to develop ways to have compassion for myself, imagining how I would treat another in the same situation, but that is very hard for me to do.

All of your posts are thoughtful and helpful and I appreciate them more than you know.

(((( HUGS ))))) Yes, I take them freely and give with permission. :) Thank you all so much.

 

[Spiderallis]

((((((((extra HUGE hug for Don't Trip))))))

It's a good sign that you're aware of being so hard on yourself. That's something I wrestle with too. You've got several stressful things going on. Spending some time alone at home to find a safe place to feel all those emotions is a very wise choice. It's hard, but you're handling it very well.

 

[Don't trip]

((((((((((((((((( Spiderallis ))))))))))))))))))))))))
Thank You.

Part of the reason I stay at home, is not just for my safety, but for others too. I can be bitchy and no one deserves that. I've been here reading and posting a lot, as well as just processing a lot of emotions of grief.

I want to be in my 'safe place' for awhile. It's been nearly a week since this happened and I'm still 'not over it'. One of the biggest triggers I've had in two years of recovery.

I figure there will be things to learn from this, but I do know it has forced me to see reality more and to stop seeing my relationships from the distorted lens of denial.

It's a very dark time right now.

Thanks for the hugs. :)