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  1. Cypress

    hugging my therapist is feeling like a drug

    Is this the same T that you posted about in January that you were worried was going to abuse you?
  2. Cypress

    navigating therapy breaks

    I agree that you need to tell your therapist how you are feeling. As other posters have said, even if she can’t see you in person, she can help you problem solve or maybe Skype. Are there mental health resources a your college?
  3. Cypress

    DID Dissociative identity disorder

    I was wondering about that. I’m starting to realize that I use dissociation as a crutch - even though it does not feel voluntary- there is some break point where I give in to it and let someone inside come out.
  4. Cypress

    Complaints Welcome Here.

    I left my cell phone at the gym and I’m too afraid to call them to see if they found it.
  5. Cypress

    Learning to trust new T with history of therapist abuse

    I finally told my T I was feeling like this, I was worried that he might get mad or frustrated or something but he didn’t. He didn’t seem surprised at all. I also told him that I was having a hard time trusting him and he told me that he didn’t expect me to. This is me 100%. I don’t trust my...
  6. Cypress

    Learning to trust new T with history of therapist abuse

    I have been in denial for decades that my psychiatrist/analyst from adolescence, age 12-17, started to abuse me sexually during the last two years of our therapy relationship. It wasn’t physical so I wonder if I should call it abuse. Basically I was being treated for what was called MPD at the...
  7. Cypress

    Cornell hospital psych ward info anyone?

    Both Clonazepam and Oxycodone cause physical dependence so I can see why your doc wants to hospitalize you to try to wean. Klonopin, like all benzodiazepines can cause withdrawal seizures so definitely go slow with that one.
  8. Cypress

    Therapist Went to a Conference (aka: beware, future guinea pig)

    My T often encourages me to comfort my child parts myself. I think this is part of the therapy for folks like us with complex trauma and parts. I’m learning to do this right now. It’s really hard. I agree. But I think it will be worth it to learn to self-soothe. Even though comforting a child...
  9. Cypress

    Really hurting today

    Glad you were able to reach out a little and are feeling a bit better. hang in there.
  10. Cypress

    Really hurting today

    The last time I had a day like yours, hurting and not even sure what year it was or what city I was in, I had to stand in line at the post office for almost an hour to mail off my taxes. While I was in line, I watched the people around me, young, old, speaking different languages, some...
  11. Cypress

    How do you tell the difference between going numb/dissociating and just not caring about someone anymore?

    I recently had exactly this issue in a work situation. Did I numb out and dissociate or do I just not give a f***k anymore. I did a skype session with my T about this very issue. He thought I was numbed out but didn't really have a good argument that convinced me. What convinced me I was numb...
  12. Cypress

    Working in the field again and feeling really numb

    This is what I tell my parts now that I am aware of them. Before I got on the plane to leave, I sort of gave an internal announcement: the only person who can handle this is me and now I have no awareness of them so I know they are split-off right now which I actually don't mind. The problem...
  13. Cypress

    Working in the field again and feeling really numb

    You are right about this. I've scheduled a video call with my T. Hopefully the internet will hold up. I was hoping I wouldn't need him while I was here but I really do and that freaks me out as well- the old trust issues - but I know I'll feel better after we talk. My work setting now is an...
  14. Cypress

    Checking in on a past therapist - Angry at not recognizing abuse

    I had wanted to do this for years. My biggest fear was that even though he saw me for 5 years - what if he didn't remember me? When I finally looked him up a few months ago I found out he died relatively young at age 52. I say go for it if you know your T is still practicing.
  15. Cypress

    Did you regret throwing out your journals?

    I kept a journal from age 13-15 during a time when I was hospitalized for a year and having intensive treatment afterwards. I left that part of me behind and could not bear to look at them again but also could not throw them away. 10 years ago in a cleaning frenzy during a big move, I tossed...
  16. Cypress

    Is this a long flashback? A part? Kind of freaked out

    This is exactly how I felt! Its gotten better but sometimes I still get that strange feeling when something triggers me. Like you I realized it was part of a re-connection with a younger part.
  17. Cypress

    Working in the field again and feeling really numb

    I guess I feel like I want to be able to tolerate my emotions rather than dissociate them away. The feelings are there but just blocked out and unprocessed. When I have numbed out before it comes back around eventually in the form of too much alcohol or too much risk-taking or powerful emotion...
  18. Cypress

    Working in the field again and feeling really numb

    Well I do medical stuff and I have just returned to working in the field. I was really anxious going in and I even tried a little medication for calm my system. Unfortunately my first day back I had to deal with a suicide attempt that resulted in a horrific life- threatening wound. The patient...
  19. Cypress

    When the therapist is too busy but the staff is not...

    I’m confused about who needs help communicating- the OP or the roommate. It sounds like both. Maybe a couples counselor would be best, then both could practice communicating with the therapist there to mediate or coach them through problems. Also I’m not sure how this all relates to PTSD...
  20. Cypress

    What helps make an ER visit for PTSD symptoms go well?

    @Justmehere, as someone who used to work in an ED, it will also be helpful if you can verbalize how they can help you so they don't get stressed, overwhelmed, write you off as crazy or ignore you. So for example, I have X symptom, I am here because Y and Z are usually helpful for this and the ED...
  21. Cypress

    What helps make an ER visit for PTSD symptoms go well?

    Be direct, be consistent, use the same language and phrasing with everyone, focus on symptoms that can be measured, good luck
  22. Cypress

    DID Passive Influence

    The passive influence will probably get better when you learn to differentiate your adult self feelings from the trauma driven feelings of your parts. I used to and still do find myself feeling angry or fearful for no obvious reason. When I used to have these powerful feelings I would attribute...
  23. Cypress

    DID Communication?

    I have found that as your parts learn that they can trust you not to shut them down or try to get rid of them you will become more aware of them. Also as you get over your phobia of the memories, and develop a better tolerance for the feelings you will notice them more too. It’s slow painstaking...
  24. Cypress

    Stupidest.trigger. ever. / what is your weirdest trigger?

    Country rock, certain accents, and yellow flowered anything
  25. Cypress

    Too many changes leading to weird anxiety and craving steadiness

    Maybe your landlady likes it when people move out so she can raise the rent.
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