L
Lynncheck
Hey! I’m new here... I’ve been reading posts for awhile but this is my first time ever posting, so I’m not really sure if this is the right place or anything.
Anyway. I’ve been in therapy for childhood sexual abuse off and on for about two years with the most incredible therapist ever. I attend college several hours away and can only see her when I’m home on breaks, but I graduate in two weeks so I get to go back to therapy full time now after two years of just having a few sessions every few months and emailing occasionally.
Also, I originally thought maybe I just had bad senioritis, but now I realize that I’ve been really depressed for the last few weeks, and I’ve recently been dealing with severe body memories and flashbacks and suicidal thoughts, which makes school difficult, and all I want to do is talk to my T, but since I’m away at school and I’m so afraid she’s going to leave when she sees what a basket case I am, I don’t feel like I can tell her what’s going on or that she would even care since I’m technically on a break from therapy.
I did email her to see if I could get an appointment for the week I go home but she’s out of the office then and then I go on a family vacation and she’s gone on vacation the week after I get back from my trip. So it’ll be a month before I can talk to her about any of this. I thought about emailing her about what’s been going on, but I don’t wanna just be like “I’m having suicidal thoughts and physically feeling parts of the abuse over and over again, but no worries, I’m fine. Have a good vacation!” because then she’d probably be worried, but that’s not really her problem and it’s not like she can do anything about it when I’m not in therapy.
I’m not really sure how to handle this. Breaks from therapy are so hard...
Anyway. I’ve been in therapy for childhood sexual abuse off and on for about two years with the most incredible therapist ever. I attend college several hours away and can only see her when I’m home on breaks, but I graduate in two weeks so I get to go back to therapy full time now after two years of just having a few sessions every few months and emailing occasionally.
Also, I originally thought maybe I just had bad senioritis, but now I realize that I’ve been really depressed for the last few weeks, and I’ve recently been dealing with severe body memories and flashbacks and suicidal thoughts, which makes school difficult, and all I want to do is talk to my T, but since I’m away at school and I’m so afraid she’s going to leave when she sees what a basket case I am, I don’t feel like I can tell her what’s going on or that she would even care since I’m technically on a break from therapy.
I did email her to see if I could get an appointment for the week I go home but she’s out of the office then and then I go on a family vacation and she’s gone on vacation the week after I get back from my trip. So it’ll be a month before I can talk to her about any of this. I thought about emailing her about what’s been going on, but I don’t wanna just be like “I’m having suicidal thoughts and physically feeling parts of the abuse over and over again, but no worries, I’m fine. Have a good vacation!” because then she’d probably be worried, but that’s not really her problem and it’s not like she can do anything about it when I’m not in therapy.
I’m not really sure how to handle this. Breaks from therapy are so hard...