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I'm going to the psych ward Tuesday because I have no ride until then. I'm going to rid myself of gabapentin once and for all. I have to move in two months so I don't want to drag addictions with me. I have to do this for me. Or I'm going to end up dead. I'm tired and I can't do it alone. I...

I'm just plain confused about everything @Fadeaway

Ok, it all started in 08 after three yrs of recovery. I smoked a bowl of weed and my anxiety went through the roof. I thought surely I was dead. That this whole world was my heart and the evil in this world was because of the life I lived before I died in 05 of a drug overdose. As you can see...

I know I have some psychotic disorder. When I was dropping my risperdal to 2 mg and my truck got stolen I started to get very paranoid. Losing my marbles. Lining up one scenario to another. Then I got it raised to four mg. I started to come out of it but would have spikes of the paranoia. Me...

It's only when I feel convicted of wrongdoing and normal get your attention to do something good. But yes I wanted to know if meth played a role in my heart doing this. By faith I chose to listen to Charles Stanley when he said conviction feels like static in the heart. Now at the time I took...

I have to leave where I'm living. Pretty getting kicked out. There is temptation like stealing my older roommates pain killers or just asking for some. But yes I fear my problems will follow me. I um had a nightmare about my moms and my stepdad. Even tho I really don't know him and my trauma...

Yes my temptations feel like I'm sinning before the sin is even conceived. I just read James ch1& 2 and it spoke directly to me. So I know the Lord is at work in all of our lives. I believe I will be delivered from my nightmares. How? I just have faith in God. I know seeking help is never...

I know there are ppl worse than me. I'm saying my burden is so deep that I feel my anguish comes from a sinful life. Which it does. I mean wanting to steal and lie and do other things that erode my relationship with Jesus on my end just makes me feel like the scum of the earth. Paul was a...

Where talking about sin not ptsd where someone hurt someone.

Joeylitte said what makes you feel that special. Nothing. I don't feel special at all. I just feel like my wrongdoing is worse than anyone else's. probably because everybody like to blame everyone else before looking in their own hearts to see the choices they made got them where they are.

I feel like this forum is my sanctuary because I get on the christianforums.com and ppl either assume I'm lying or they say it's something not connected to my sincere want to move forward in my faith. Guys I'm going to be real. I feel like the chief of sinners. I feel like my SIN is worse...

7Cs said, you want to live to 108? Actually the thought of death scares me but it has also had a lot of the sting tooken away but my faith. But when ppl die that I tried to witness to it hurts bad. Not that I'm judging. But if I go by what the Bible says their are going to be a lot of lost...

My heart drops when I get tempted to steal. To lust. To do anything that goes against my conscience. Is it a thyroid issue or is it the conviction of the Holy Ghost? I have no clue and it's been going on for almost ten years. Thyroid issues can play a part in mental health. But also...

It cost money. I make SSDI so I got screwed. I believe it was all a set up. Now I'm moving to TN so I can work on my life.

Both

They found my truck but the wrecker company screwed me over saying it was getting sold and it cost over 600$ to get out. So I let it go. I'm going to TN so this is my recourse. God is closing this door and opening a new one.

im moving in two months. I have a bad feeling I'm going to be cut off from klonopin. I just don't trust doctors anymore. I don't even believe I have PTSD even tho I have nightmares I just cannot believe the bs coming from the docs mouth. So I'll know I'll be up a creek in a few months. I just...

Okay do any of you dream of a place you grew up in not necessarily your trauma but a place where fighting happened. What I mean is I'm going to move to TN and I often have dreams of the rocky relationship between me and my stepmom. So I know when I go there I will be dissociated by things I see...

I've been so emotionally abused by my ex that I give up my right to be with anyone. I believe she screwed it up for all women. But you can be with someone. Ppl are different. I think if I would of got with someone before I was getting these bellowing feeling of abuse I would of been fine. I...

Sux to be me.

I may not be the world known preacher I desired to be.. But, God has given me that. The internet is world wide. I never wanted money.. I wanted ppl that God is real. He gave me visions but the Word of God is where you get all the direction you need. So I want children to pass on what I know...

As it stands right now. The house I live in and the struggle I deal with from someone who has no ide what trauma is can be satisfied that I'm out of the house. I'm tired of living here in this hell hole always unhappy and in turn causing me to look for my next fix. I'm tired of it. Someone else...

I'm putting in a lot of past things I've wrote. Sorry for the confusion. I tried to get off gabapentin. It lasted two weeks as long as the strains of kratom where working. But then they pooped out and the withdrawals from gabapentin would come and go so I said screw it I'll just take it and...

And, on the gabapentin end. It was brutal. The withdrawals would come back than go away so I said screw it. How do I get off a medication that is as deadly as klonopin. I hate suffering. In 05 I suffered the whole summer with anxiety, panic attack, delusions, paranoia. And I didn't even know I...

Yes this is her. But, I think mainly I've let her go. For the respectable reasons for the guy. I'm sorry but some men are gentlemen.