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Search results

  1. Bananie

    Feels Like I'm Waging A War

    Sonofanutcracker. I dont think I'm overly dependant on T, but after a kinda intense two weeks, I was looking forward to my appointment today. That got cancelled a little bit ago. That's a lotta dimp. Cause now I have unplanned downtime. To sit and realize what's going on. Remember I don't...
  2. Bananie

    Feels Like I'm Waging A War

    Well. I'm moved. Yay. I have definitely just turned feelings off. It's not bad, really. Just gotta get used to it. Or, don't. And move again quickly. This too shall pass.
  3. Bananie

    Feels Like I'm Waging A War

    yehz!!! I need you on my team!
  4. Bananie

    Feels Like I'm Waging A War

    OK! Well the staying up the whole night thing didn't work, really. But, it kind of did. I mean, I didn't stay up all night, but, I stayed up later than usual, and then just took a nap, yes, because I ran out of cigs, and walked to the two closest stores and they were both closed, and the next...
  5. Bananie

    What Song Are You Listening To Right Now?

    Rob Thomas-Soul Sick
  6. Bananie

    Feels Like I'm Waging A War

    oooooo I like that. Thank you. Literally on my way there, I was worrying about my jacket, and my purse, and explaining myself, and I thought "you know what, goddamnit Annie, you are a good worker. They should BE so lucky to even have you interviewing with them, wanting to work there. If they...
  7. Bananie

    Feels Like I'm Waging A War

    It was for the one I really wanted, and now I'm kinda like, meh, if I get it, I get it, if I don't, I don't. The place it's at is cool, but, it's very professional, and I'm not great at that lol. We'll see. :)
  8. Bananie

    Feels Like I'm Waging A War

    Lol I'm fat and old too, we can come up with appropriate cheerleader costumes! Thanks for all the support ladee!!! The person who interviewed me said she enjoyed our conversation and hopefully will be calling me within the week. I'm on my way to training now, and did manage to stop at family...
  9. Bananie

    Feels Like I'm Waging A War

    Lol,reading through this, so I can remember, wow, a week ago, I was freaking out! And now I'm like, ok. today. get to bank and 711 first. COFFEE. Interview. Kill it. They're gonna love you Bananie, it's hard not to. Off to training. Also doing well there already. You know WHAT you're doing, now...
  10. Bananie

    Feels Like I'm Waging A War

    @ladee Thanks for the hugs! :) I'm moving, so it's involved packing. I can pack for a trip in like 5 minutes lol. Actually tested that out one morning. I was in NYC with a friend, we had a horrible experience one night, which led us to a not great day, bickering with each other, we went and...
  11. Bananie

    Feels Like I'm Waging A War

    just a few things to get out before packing, I swear it! I'm totally gonna pack today. Well, no I'm gonna throw away today. And I'm going to stay up late. No that would be stupid, I have an interview tomorrow. Start the staying up late and doing random hours when you have to for the new job. you...
  12. Bananie

    Wunderbar!!

    Thank you!!!!
  13. Bananie

    Wunderbar!!

    I'm just so super excited that I'm telling all the world. I walked out of my job last week after a tense working situation came to a head. When I got home from that, I started job searching immediately, and found a position I would LOVE. I wrote a cover letter that referenced Hamilton, and my...
  14. Bananie

    Feels Like I'm Waging A War

    LOL, I was coming in here to say something like, oh good, I'm "up" again, and the song "hello 12, hello 13, hello loooooooove" popped into my head, but also at the same time my mind was trying to fit "helllooooo mood swings" into that tune. While hamilton is playing. Ok, Bananie, see, you can...
  15. Bananie

    Feels Like I'm Waging A War

    how could I ever say anxiety is a good thing. Am I even anxious? Or am I numb. I don't know what I am. YES. I know I need a job. I need to job search. I need one now, because the thought of ever stepping foot in my "Current?" place of employment again throws me into full panic mode. It's made me...
  16. Bananie

    Feels Like I'm Waging A War

    Thought that just came to me. I just got too close to people where I work and I took a step back and said whoa, run from that. See what close gets you?
  17. Bananie

    A Turn Away From Dissociation: The Association Thread

    Sorry I missed the game part of this and just posted. And to cat I say Hat
  18. Bananie

    Just Sing Something

    How have I not seen this thread before? I'm on my phone on the bus now, but i can't wait to get home and get listening!
  19. Bananie

    A Turn Away From Dissociation: The Association Thread

    I'm trying everything I can to stay present today. In the shower, digging my toes in to the floor to keep from falling over when i close my eyes. At the bus stop trying, standing planted and feeling both the sun warming me and the breeze cooling me, a delicious combination. Breathe. Listen to...
  20. Bananie

    Feels Like I'm Waging A War

    I've always been a much bigger fan of writing than typing but 1, journal is in the living room, I am not, 2, typing just seems so much easier when so much is going through my head. Work sitch has me all torn up. Anxious to the max, like I haven't felt in a looooooooong time. Yet, kind of a good...
  21. Bananie

    Feels Like I'm Waging A War

    On my way to my t! I'm not sure if I've ever been so like "omg thank God I'm going today!" as I am today. I'm dry heave anxious over the work situation and I can't wait to talk it over with an impartial outsider. I know he's kinda "on my side" but also will tell me if I'm being ridiculous.
  22. Bananie

    How Do I Know When I Am Done "processing" With Emdr?

    I was really skeptical of EMDR....until I did it, and then was like, whoa man, this actually works *too* well. T had explained it, and then I had a few sessions, and he had said "You may continue to process things over the next few days." And I did, I totally did! But it usually turned me into...
  23. Bananie

    Childish? Oh Yeah. Do I Care? Meh.

    :laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::tup:
  24. Bananie

    Childish? Oh Yeah. Do I Care? Meh.

    I think I did quit, but my boss is out of town, and I texted "I quit, or I'll just work the days that coworker isn't there" with no response, but even thinking about it more, I just don't even want to go back, no matter how much I love the place. I've already begun a job search, I was hoping to...
  25. Bananie

    Childish? Oh Yeah. Do I Care? Meh.

    I feel like updating about the situation, and getting feedback, because, like Mugatu, "I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!" So my coworker did a few other little things where I was like...ummmm....that's weird. I was talking to a peer outside the office, and we were joking around. When I went...
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