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- #13
Bananie
Silver Member
I feel like updating about the situation, and getting feedback, because, like Mugatu, "I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!"
So my coworker did a few other little things where I was like...ummmm....that's weird. I was talking to a peer outside the office, and we were joking around. When I went back in the office, coworker said "You were giggly out there!" I replied, yeah, I'm giggly a lot. The next week she brought in a board game for her and that specific peer to play. In the office. Ok. Whatevs. Still just do your work Bananie. Then another peer returned a sweatshirt I'd let them borrow. A little bit later coworker was having an in depth conversation with same peer, and asked that person "will you be my friend?" Weird, right?
I was still trying to be like "no, you're overreacting. get over yourself" but, I felt a little bit better about it when telling my T about the situation, and he said, "You're not crazy, that's weird." I said, omg,thank you, cause really, I was wondering.
I also decided to go to the employment person within our agency to brush up my resume and get help with job search, etc. I ended up telling him exactly why I wanted to leave, and they said, that's a weird situation. I don't encourage anyone to just walk away from a job, and it seems like you've tried to have the situation resolved with your supervisor and it didn't work, you would be well within your rights to go higher up with this.
I decided instead to go to my boss again. She warned me about the employment specialist, saying they had no sense of humor, and could get symptomatic, and is very concrete. She also told me
"Just think about how telling people about the situation reflects on you." and "If you're trying to destroy (coworker) it could destroy you."
I ended up only working one day the next week before being struck down with illness....that really, I think was my body finally screaming at me to stop rationalizing (It was weird, I thought sinus? Nothing really manifested, thank god, I just ached all over, like, my pants hurt my knee achey, and lethargic, and my face was hot.) The day before I was going back the next week, I got an apology text from the coworker, that, with the verbiage she used (I was about to actually quote it, but my paranoia is kicking in as to, omg, did she ever know about this site? omg, so much is identifiable about me and this sitch. Um, sorry, coworker, if you're reading. Feel free to blast me), led me to believe, my boss told her a lot. And Ok, I guess, if you're a supervisor who has to tell an employee not to do something, you have to tell them what that something is. But I just thought, ohhhh this is going to make things sooooo much harder. But I went in trying to be positive, and still determined to just be like, it's ok, just work. But I effed that up within 10 minutes. I asked coworker a question, and she answered, and I said, ok! And then she went on to explain her answer, and I should have gotten out "I know that you feel you have to justify things now, but I accept this answer at face value" all I said "was it's really ok" and she said sorry for trying to explain and I just kept saying it's ok, until she said if you want to hate me go ahead but enough of this passive aggressive shit and I said, you're absolutely right. Which made her madder and she went to have a cigarette, and I decided to leave. Because I really the whole time have been trying not to make her mad. A little because I'm kind of afraid of her, but mostly because I spend most of my life trying not to make people mad. Oh wow you guys, I keep getting asked "How is this situation like your childhood?" UM cause I just try to please everyone all the time. Or at the very least, don't poke the bear. No rabble rousing. Which is also weird because I think other people don't see me as that. Hmmm.
ANYwho. While this was happening, I forgot my supervisor isn't even in town. I went to her office first just to say I quit, I'm leaving, and when she wasn't there I just went in the back and told the person I kind of consider another boss that I was leaving. And then texted my boss, and haven't heard back.
What I'm realizing now, is that, while I do still have problems with the coworker, I think my main issue here is my boss. And, I'm sorry about how this came to my mind, because here, it might mean more to some people, and I don't mean to discount anyone's true experience with one, but the thought just came to me "Holy chicken nuggets. I've just been under the spell of a cult like leader for like a year, wtf?" I think other people knew it, cause they've made comments, no I don't mean, like, knew I was under the spell, I'm just saying that people would criticize, and I'm like, super fan. Which I guess is fine, until it came around to bite me in the ass.
Um, so, I guess, this ramble, was one, just to get it out, but two, please, feedback of any kind is greatly appreciated!
So my coworker did a few other little things where I was like...ummmm....that's weird. I was talking to a peer outside the office, and we were joking around. When I went back in the office, coworker said "You were giggly out there!" I replied, yeah, I'm giggly a lot. The next week she brought in a board game for her and that specific peer to play. In the office. Ok. Whatevs. Still just do your work Bananie. Then another peer returned a sweatshirt I'd let them borrow. A little bit later coworker was having an in depth conversation with same peer, and asked that person "will you be my friend?" Weird, right?
I was still trying to be like "no, you're overreacting. get over yourself" but, I felt a little bit better about it when telling my T about the situation, and he said, "You're not crazy, that's weird." I said, omg,thank you, cause really, I was wondering.
I also decided to go to the employment person within our agency to brush up my resume and get help with job search, etc. I ended up telling him exactly why I wanted to leave, and they said, that's a weird situation. I don't encourage anyone to just walk away from a job, and it seems like you've tried to have the situation resolved with your supervisor and it didn't work, you would be well within your rights to go higher up with this.
I decided instead to go to my boss again. She warned me about the employment specialist, saying they had no sense of humor, and could get symptomatic, and is very concrete. She also told me
"Just think about how telling people about the situation reflects on you." and "If you're trying to destroy (coworker) it could destroy you."
I ended up only working one day the next week before being struck down with illness....that really, I think was my body finally screaming at me to stop rationalizing (It was weird, I thought sinus? Nothing really manifested, thank god, I just ached all over, like, my pants hurt my knee achey, and lethargic, and my face was hot.) The day before I was going back the next week, I got an apology text from the coworker, that, with the verbiage she used (I was about to actually quote it, but my paranoia is kicking in as to, omg, did she ever know about this site? omg, so much is identifiable about me and this sitch. Um, sorry, coworker, if you're reading. Feel free to blast me), led me to believe, my boss told her a lot. And Ok, I guess, if you're a supervisor who has to tell an employee not to do something, you have to tell them what that something is. But I just thought, ohhhh this is going to make things sooooo much harder. But I went in trying to be positive, and still determined to just be like, it's ok, just work. But I effed that up within 10 minutes. I asked coworker a question, and she answered, and I said, ok! And then she went on to explain her answer, and I should have gotten out "I know that you feel you have to justify things now, but I accept this answer at face value" all I said "was it's really ok" and she said sorry for trying to explain and I just kept saying it's ok, until she said if you want to hate me go ahead but enough of this passive aggressive shit and I said, you're absolutely right. Which made her madder and she went to have a cigarette, and I decided to leave. Because I really the whole time have been trying not to make her mad. A little because I'm kind of afraid of her, but mostly because I spend most of my life trying not to make people mad. Oh wow you guys, I keep getting asked "How is this situation like your childhood?" UM cause I just try to please everyone all the time. Or at the very least, don't poke the bear. No rabble rousing. Which is also weird because I think other people don't see me as that. Hmmm.
ANYwho. While this was happening, I forgot my supervisor isn't even in town. I went to her office first just to say I quit, I'm leaving, and when she wasn't there I just went in the back and told the person I kind of consider another boss that I was leaving. And then texted my boss, and haven't heard back.
What I'm realizing now, is that, while I do still have problems with the coworker, I think my main issue here is my boss. And, I'm sorry about how this came to my mind, because here, it might mean more to some people, and I don't mean to discount anyone's true experience with one, but the thought just came to me "Holy chicken nuggets. I've just been under the spell of a cult like leader for like a year, wtf?" I think other people knew it, cause they've made comments, no I don't mean, like, knew I was under the spell, I'm just saying that people would criticize, and I'm like, super fan. Which I guess is fine, until it came around to bite me in the ass.
Um, so, I guess, this ramble, was one, just to get it out, but two, please, feedback of any kind is greatly appreciated!
