Childish? Oh Yeah. Do I Care? Meh.

[Bananie]

I've been working at my job for just over a year now. It's basically a job share in an office, but I do overlap with the other woman for a day and a half, and we ended up being pretty good friends. Had a lot in common, similarish backgrounds, I was happy to have found a friend. She's completely incompetent, but, meh, at that point, who cared? I'll help her out with that!
Then she kind of started copying me.
One day she said "I want a gay guy best friend!" I just kinda laughed and said ok. Sometime later I mentioned a friend of mine, who happens to be a gay male. She said "He could be my gay guy best friend!" I replied "Ok, first of all, we're not friends because he's gay. We have 12 years of shared history now. Second...GET YOUR OWN!" She wanted to switch to my therapist, but he was not taking new patients. Then I wore a dress one day, and then a few days later she texted "Went shopping!" and a pic of her in a dress.
So, incompetent coworker who's now trying to wear me as a skinsuit. Cool.
I backed away from her. Actually, I was kind of a B for awhile, and it was easy to tell that there was tension in the office. Eventually, I decided to still be professional, just not real personable.
Then one day I logged into my work account, and then into FB. I noticed that someone was already signed into FB, and figured it was just my coworker, so I was annoyed, but was just going to log her out. Then noticed, it wasn't her name, it was the name of a woman I had some issues with (another story for another time, lol). She doesn't work there, so I thought, how the hell was she on my computer? Wait....that's MY last name...what...in the what? Go in to the about section, and the phone number is my coworkers phone number. So, she signed into my work account (our passwords were our names. I've since had mine changed), and created a FB profile with the first name of my nemesis and my last name.
I freaked out for a little while, then texted, who is this person? "Oh, it's my Candy Crush name."
Ok, I'm weirded out by that. "I picked the most generic names I could think of to protect my anonymity."
OK..........
I don't want to tell her I don't believe her. My boss admits it's weird, and her solution was to tell her that we have separate desks, and don't sit at "my" desk anymore.
That wasn't even my decree, but she still sits at "my" desk, and logs in to "my" computer, though at least as herself now, but this is despite having been told more than once by the boss to not sit there.
So today as I was leaving, since she's the next one in, I put tacks on "my" chair.

 

[ladee]

Oh I should not be laughing..but I am..this chic is a little scary to say the least.
Can You have a meeting with her with a liaison present?
You shouldn't have to work under these conditions with some one who clearly has no boundries or respects yours.
She is cloning you...Twighlight music in the background.

 

[Changing4Best]

This sounds like the beginning of some kind of Horror Movie, and at the very least a stalking thing going on. Is it possible to put a restraining order on her?

 

[Bananie]

When I had my password changed by the administrator the day that I discovered the fb account, I told my boss, and she said "Well that was dramatic." I said, no, I don't think it is. She signed in as me. I don't know what she was doing while under my name, I can't trust her. She replied "Well, if we can't trust her, then I have to fire her." I sighed and said I don't want her fired. A friend recently said "see cuz, that's when you should have said 'Yes, yes she should be fired'." I don't want to be the cause of someone's misfortune! And he replied "You have to realize that sometimes you're not the cause, you're the victim!" Slight digression here, when he said that, I thought, hmmm, and asked, ok, what about in this situation? I happened to be talking to him on the year anniversary of a situation I had, well, basically, the r word, but I thought it was all my fault. He said no, that wasn't your fault at all.
When I told my boss about the conversation with him, she asked why didn't you ever report that? I said, cause it was my fault. She replied "your boundaries have always been so messed up, it's a wonder you have any at all" (she knows about my childhood abuse, and knew about that incident last year)
So that was when she decided that my coworker and I should have definite separate desks, and told my coworker to stop sitting there. Just as a time frame, the copying started in summer, the fb account was beginning of November, and the desk thing started a few weeks ago.
So I guess, I don't know who I would have as a liason if I was to meet with my coworker. My boss is NOT a good choice. And I don't want to do anything legal to her because I don't want her to have that trouble.

 

[FireSign8]

This is exactly why I do not have FB or friends. Far too many bizarre people in the workplace. Happy that I have my SSI check & am broke enough to not have the luxury of going out into the world of people who are just plain predatory animals.:confused:

 

[Bananie]

I finally gave in an applied for SSD in August. I was denied the first time, so I'm going through the appeal process.
The thing is, I love this job. I would probably still work here, as it's kind of designed for people who can work part time but still be on disability. It's a peer mental health community. My main duty is putting out the newsletter, so writing articles, working in publisher, designing the layout and flyers. We offer art workshops, and mindfulness workshops and mutual support groups. I wouldn't be this far in my "recovery" ( I hate that word lol) without having found this place. It's definitely not the money or title I'm getting out of it! So, while this situation with my coworker SUCKS.....I can't bring myself to leave. I wrote an article about it actually... I wonder if i can post it here....

 

[Ronin]

I can't bring myself to leave.

So don't.

You're the original, she's the copy, and a doing it wrong copy, right?

Meaning you can do anything, press her into enough of a corner she won't be able to do what she's doing anymore, and get HER to leave.

 

[Bananie]

So don't.

You're the original, she's the copy, and a doing it wrong copy, right?

Meaning you can do anyt...

That's what I'm goin for!! :) I'm just stayin in my lane, doing good work, and let her do herself in.

 

[SophiaWisdom]

Oh my goodness you make things okay with how you deal - you remind me very much of me and my forum bff and my fav people from home.

TACKS mofo, TACKS. I'm so inspired and impressed and proud at the same time.

 

[Fadeaway]

I was about ready to excuse her behavior UNTIL..damn after the FB part I can't believe I was thinking about posting something in her defense. That IS so creepy it gave me the chills.

I mean I get the first part sort of. When I was younger there was someone I really looked up to, and I tried to be like her because I thought she had it all together and was young and dumb enough to think conforming to her way of dressing and stuff would give me the same confidence she seemed to have. This goes a bit beyond that.

 

[Bananie]

@SophiaWisdom I've been wondering, do I tell someone before that there are? I shouldn't have done that, why stoop? Then I think, hey I can put tacks in MY chair if I want, and she in theory shouldn't even find them.... ;)
@Fadeaway , that was pretty much my reaction, like, ok.... imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, she perceives things as going well for me and is trying those things, fine. Annoying, but fine. Then the FB thing. *I* don't even have my last name on FB. I'm not sure what her plans for it was. I don't think it was candy crush, I've seen people's games accounts, they have a bunch of postings about the game. This profile had none. It just leaves me feeling super icky.

 

[Bananie]

I just texted someone to take the tacks off the chair before she gets there.