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I definitely understand struggling with depression and not feeling like going to the gym. Even though I really like going to the gym, it can still be a struggle. I try to make sure I do at least 2 workouts a week if I'm really down... Normally I do something every other day... and I've...

Yeah, the whole thing still amazes me. People asking me for personal advice? I'm gonna have lots to talk about at therapy this week I think!

Since restarting therapy a couple of years ago, I've lost about 100 pounds... Went clothes shopping yesterday, and realized that the jeans I bought are 18 inches smaller than when I was at my top weight... and working out at the gym means that for the first time in my life I have pretty good...

I'm still at the beginning stage - I've only had 3 sessions so far, but I have EMDR on Mondays or Tuesdays, then see my regular T on Thursdays... Im still learning about my safe place, and relaxation techniques, and it's already overwhelmed me a couple of times...

I actually have always been mostly positive. Most of the time, as a senior, elder, old, middle-aged... Damn... as a distinguished white Gay guy, I don't have many problems with overt homophobia. And if anyone would notice, it would be me. I've been on high alert my whole life. If I could...

i don't have much to add, except I'm sorry you had to deal with that on your own then, and are having to deal with the pain now... I'm not sure how to say this without sounding like I'm minimizing what happened to you, but it's good that poor kid had you with him when he passed away. You sound...

I think accepting me would mean she would have had to accept that her husband was a closet case/pedophile/rapist. She protected him the rest of her life. She used to tell me I was "an idiot" for being Gay from the day I came out until I cut her off 20 years later... and if I "kept being Gay"...

It's only when I write stuff down that I realize how insane my life has been. When I came out to my mother at 16, she said she wished I'd been a drug addict instead of Gay... I told her, there was no bargaining - she got a Gay son - deal with it. (She wouldn't deal with it of course, but...

Homophobia is really tough for me to put up with. Growing up, I just hid and hoped no one would figure out I was Gay... although it's sort of hard to hide when your father is raping you and calling you a faggot at 8... Hiding sort of works when you're single. You just don't talk about your...

All of you already are!

The tortoise is named Andy.... He's a 94 year old Desert Tortoise... He was a neighbor's pet. She got him in 1938... When she passed away at 99, we inherited him... ?

While the ambulance was wheeling him off to the hospital, I had to basically fight with them to tell me anything. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with homophobia, but if I hadn’t said anything, they would have totally ignored me. I told em they wouldn’t have acted the same if I was his wife...

It basically happened because the person who decided, kept giving me more and more clients for God knows why... I could have made a huge fuss, but I wasn't even sure we'd have jobs, so I felt pressured. It's only in the last while that I found out that no one else had as many... My husband...

Now that made me laugh!. I'd have to become a Catholic in order to be able to leave it and say I'm recovering. I'm married to an ex-Catholic, so I can live it through him. ? I'm definitely learning a lot with this whole journey... Like that I need to relax and allow myself to make mistakes...

I'm working on it. ?

What great messages to wake up to - thanks! I guess they're called flashbacks because we get flashes of what happened... How did I not even notice that before? (All those years at University were obviously a waste of time!) In reading every book under the sun on PTSD, I kept reading about...

When I just let myself "feel" during flashbacks, it's really obvious it's all true. I can just feel it from somewhere deep inside me... like I never forgot... It's like I'm more rational when I'm in a flashback, than in real life... Thanks... It's strange being believed... and supported...

One less thing to worry about... They solved things, so at least I don't have to worry about a job and benefits any more.... ?

It's been a tough week... I haven't picked on myself in a long time... Maybe I'm just exhausted. I used to laugh when people called me a control freak... Now I'm realizing that they might have been right... I got totally knocked off balance by all my flashbacks since I started EMDR. I've...

Went to EMDR last night... and today I'm mentally a mess... I was telling the therapist about my flashbacks this week, and he asked "how long do you think the abuse went on?"... I told him I didn't know... which is true... but now I'm analyzing his question over and over. When I get asked...

I'm working on accepting that the things I hated myself for growing up were actually because of what happened to me. Everyone always thinks of me as "competent" and "together"... The idea of people feeling sorry for me is really tough. Pretending to be "normal" was how I survived my...

Exactly. I grew up with mean. I understand it. But I’m learning it’s ok to just accept support from people. I use humor as a weapon. I used to use it with my father. If I could get him to laugh, I was safe. When I’m nervous I use humor. My EMDR therapist seems very serious. I don’t know...

Yeah... I'm not good at telling... I never thought of that... wow...

Yeah, I always worry that the therapist will get fed up with me and quit. I'm always worried that I'll do it wrong... It's think it's because he's new to me, so I'm still trying to figure him out... It took me a LONG time to trust my regular therapist. Right now, I find myself watching for his...

I'm so sorry. She sounded like a supportive, insightful person.