Only took 50 years to deal with my abuse.

[PTSDGuy]

That’s a huge stressor, so I’m not surprised that that would overwhelm you in other areas of your life. I’m so glad you made sure he got to doctor. That sounds scary. :hug:

While the ambulance was wheeling him off to the hospital, I had to basically fight with them to tell me anything. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with homophobia, but if I hadn’t said anything, they would have totally ignored me.

I told em they wouldn’t have acted the same if I was his wife. Out of the 6 or 7 First Responders on my front porch, only one got it, and came back to let me know stuff. The rest were busy staring at and talking about our tortoise, then just stared at me and left. Somehow you’d think they’d have met Gay couples before in LA. Guess not. ?

How is your husband doing now (heart/health-wise) if you don't mind my asking?

Ain't that the truth... :/

I tell everybody that he’s doing good, but that I’m a mess now. (He’s actually doing well. Takes the dogs out on two hour walks most days... they’re happy and he’s improving...)

And the tortoise is hibernating until Spring. Thank God.

 

[bellbird]

The rest were busy staring at and talking about our tortoise, then just stared at me and left.

That's appalling behaviour on their part.
Homophobia has no place in this world, least of all in an emergency situation.
Glad he's doing good. We're here to be as much of a support as we can so you can work your way back to "doing good" too :)

 

[littleoc]

That sucks, I'm so sorry. I'm glad he's more okay now. I think I'd still be a mess after all that too. Especially the part where you had to force them to tell you things -- that's a serious stressor. :hug:

tortoise

Oh, what's his (her?) name?

 

[PTSDGuy]

That sucks, I'm so sorry. I'm glad he's more okay now. I think I'd still be a mess after all that too. Especially the part where you had to force them to tell you things -- that's a serious stressor. :hug:


Oh, what's his (her?) name?

The tortoise is named Andy.... He's a 94 year old Desert Tortoise... He was a neighbor's pet. She got him in 1938... When she passed away at 99, we inherited him... ?

 

[PTSDGuy]

We're here to be as much of a support as we can so you can work your way back to "doing good" too :)

All of you already are!

 

[littleoc]

That’s so cool! Hi, Andy!! :)

:hug: :hug:

 

[ladee]

^^^^^^ Everything @littleoc said!!! Happy your husband is doing so much better, glad Andy is taking a break, and now you can concentrate on you... happy to know you feel comfortable and a 'part of' here.. welcome home!!!

 

[TTC18]

Holy cow what a huge stress - I'm so glad your hubby is doing better! And (if you don't mind) :hug: for the drama you dealt with. People can be really dumb sometimes. In my experience, most of the isms and ophobias are based in ignorance rather than maliciousness. I've seen people go from total 'women should just stay in the kitchen' to actively choosing me (female) over other reps (male) -and recommending me to others - and people go from 'x race belong in the jungle' and so on to actually being friends with other races and disavowing their earlier beliefs... Some people are raised in homes where people who aren't just like them are considered bad, or whatever - and once they get out in the world, they see that people are just people. And then they wake up and hopefully teach their own kids better. The problems come when kids don't get out and see anything new - that's when the isms and the ophobias are perpetuated. In any case, whether it's ignorance or maliciousness, being on the other end of an ism or an ophobia still hurts. In this case, with your hubby's life at risk, it must have been agonizing. That feeling of helplessness and fear and dread may have been the trigger to bring up old feelings of helplessness and fear and dread.

HUGE props to you for going to your boss & co-workers to offload some of your clients!!! I am STRUGGLING right now because I have clients asking for me and I'm like AAGGHH how do I say NO!?! But I can't work!! lol. Can I borrow a cup of backbone please? I'll return it tomorrow!

 

[PTSDGuy]

And then they wake up and hopefully teach their own kids better. The problems come when kids don't get out and see anything new - that's when the isms and the ophobias are perpetuated. In any case, whether it's ignorance or maliciousness, being on the other end of an ism or an ophobia still hurts. In this case, with your hubby's life at risk, it must have been agonizing. That feeling of helplessness and fear and dread may have been the trigger to bring up old feelings of helplessness and fear and dread.

HUGE props to you for going to your boss & co-workers to offload some of your clients!!! I am STRUGGLING right now because I have clients asking for me and I'm like AAGGHH how do I say NO!?! But I can't work!! lol. Can I borrow a cup of backbone please? I'll return it tomorrow!

Homophobia is really tough for me to put up with. Growing up, I just hid and hoped no one would figure out I was Gay... although it's sort of hard to hide when your father is raping you and calling you a faggot at 8... Hiding sort of works when you're single. You just don't talk about your life. Once you're in a relationship, you can't hide it so easily, and you shouldn't have to...

I can almost deal with homophobia when it's just ignorance, but it got old about 30 years ago.

I've been screamed at for walking down the street holding my husband's hand on the way to a Pride march. I've been beaten for being Gay and been fired for being Gay,

I've even had videos of two guys with bandanas over their faces sent to my job saying they were going to "come with guns and kill the faggot" - and when my boss got the video, instead of going to the police like I wanted, he "lost" the tape.

So, when my husband was being put in an ambulance and no one would even talk to me, I got a bit upset. Fear, dread, helplessness - check, check and check... But on the bright side, it got me finally dealing with my abuse...

Sometimes when I think about all the stuff I put up with through the years, I'm amazed. I guess I do have a backbone - and really, anyone on here who is dealing with their abuse is a lot stronger than they give themselves credit for.

@tryingtocope18, I don't think you need to borrow anything... I can tell in the short while I've been on here that you're easily as strong as me... As some wise people on here said, "give yourself a break"... :hug:

 

[TTC18]

@tryingtocope18, I don't think you need to borrow anything... I can tell in the short while I've been on here that you're easily as strong as me... As some wise people on here said, "give yourself a break"... :hug:

:) :)

So sorry for all the junk you're been through. I can't even imagine. :hug:

 

[PTSDGuy]

:):)

So sorry for all the junk you're been through. I can't even imagine. :hug:

It's only when I write stuff down that I realize how insane my life has been.

When I came out to my mother at 16, she said she wished I'd been a drug addict instead of Gay... I told her, there was no bargaining - she got a Gay son - deal with it. (She wouldn't deal with it of course, but that's a different discussion...) My philosophy on life is that you deal with the cards you've been given - and screw the haters... ?

 

[TTC18]

It's only when I write stuff down that I realize how insane my life has been.

When I came out to my mother at 16, she said she wished I'd been a drug addict instead of Gay... I told her, there was no bargaining - she got a Gay son - deal with it. (She wouldn't deal with it of course, but that's a different discussion...) My philosophy on life is that you deal with the cards you've been given - and screw the haters... ?

That makes no sense. I mean - as a parent, anything my kids tell me, I'm thinking about the danger-factor. Drugs are SO dangerous, ODs are increasing all the time. How could anyone prefer that for their kids? *smh*