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  1. L

    Accountability Friends! :)

    Last night I had a helpful, soothing massage. But before it my daughter had a tantrum, so it was stressful and hard to leave. When I returned, she had another huge one, my husband doesn't know how to manage her at all, so she has so many tantrums with her, and I am feeling so stressed knowing...
  2. L

    Not Sure How To End Recurring Dream

    Huge huge hugs. I can relate to a lot of this, you've read my posts. I'm just sorry it's such a struggle to be clear, and to not have smooth sailing. We are gonna be the wisest, most badass, strong, empathic, powerful women for all this work, I tell you what. :)
  3. L

    Accountability Friends! :)

    I made it through my day well, even though I got triggered in therapy and am really emotionally drained. This has been a double trigger week, just cruising along on high alert, needing more down time to reset the ole stress-meter. My therapist has let me book an extra session tomorrow. I can't...
  4. L

    Not Sure How To End Recurring Dream

    Muse, am sorry to be so tired as to not give you an in depth reply, but want to at least say, for now, I can so relate and am SO very sorry about how things seem to escalate from ok to bad to worse. That "nothing will ever be okay" feeling- that is PTSD. I have it, and my therapist has named it...
  5. L

    Accountability Friends! :)

    Yesterday I didn't do anything in particular for the PTSD, but... I suppose a day off is alright. :) Today I have therapy and I'm going to try and work fast on my many projects so I can carve out a bit of rest time. I have homework to do, lots of work, and a birthday party to host, so need to...
  6. L

    Not Sure How To End Recurring Dream

    Goodness, now that you explained your living situation, I understand much better, things look different and moving seems an excellent idea. It would certainly unstick you literally, which would very likely unstick you unconsciously. P.S. I didn't realize you were a Pacific Northwesterner, too...
  7. L

    Not Sure How To End Recurring Dream

    I've had a dream like this recently, and found in the dream that talking back helped. I wonder if it's about their critical, internalized voices that you may still listen to and perhaps need a little more work to counteract. I wonder if writing a letter to them would help you in speaking up...
  8. L

    Symphony's, Ballets And Musicals.

    I had the funniest (though not at the time) experience with Wicked. I bought excellent seats on Ebay, took my husband for a special event, and got escorted out of those good seats about 20 minutes into the performance. I had been scammed, my tickets were fraudulent! The manager must have known...
  9. L

    Bad Day In My Marriage

    Thanks for your thoughtful reply. Much seems on point. In terms of wishing, yes, I am delaying my "wish gratification" to see if our family can meet my needs and my daughter's well enough to continue together, to see how strong my wish is and if it will turn into a passing fantasy if things...
  10. L

    Accountability Friends! :)

    Wow. I feel so hopeless compared to yesterday, reading everyone's posts just makes me want to cry. I got triggered yesterday about therapy and therapy, well, I guess it went ok, but it didn't go as planned, and I'm not sure how to make it better anymore. Sometimes, I just can't seem to bail...
  11. L

    Bad Day In My Marriage

    Yes, that's kind of how I feel, that *finally* we've gotten him in therapy, there is some reason for hope, this is probably the best place I've been at in the past four years, yet... yes, I *feel* pretty much done, burnt out. My therapist thinks burn-out can heal, and that I'm partly triggered...
  12. L

    Bad Day In My Marriage

    It's been eleven up and down weeks since I first posted about this "bad day in my marriage." It was one of many bad days over the past few years. My anxiety about their fighting was one of my biggest triggers actually, it'd gotten so bad I was completely overwhelmed by it at the worst times...
  13. L

    Accountability Friends! :)

    Today I start a new class toward my B.A. I also have a meeting and work and therapy, so I will be busy. It's my first day of normality in my routine: husband back to work, kiddo back to school after the holidays. Thank goodness for some alone time, but I have a fair amount of stress to work out...
  14. L

    New Goal: Healthy Sleep Hygiene

    I'm really glad you posted this. Sleep is a huge issue for me too, and I agree it's critically important to mental health. I have also had a lack of sleep, lack of relaxed sleep, and nightmares that I've dealt with on and off since I was about 10 also, when my parents divorced. I have devoted a...
  15. L

    Accountability Friends! :)

    Today I slept in. Sleep is a big deal for me, it's rare I have a long-enough or quiet night's sleep. Later, I will try and do some reading in my DBT workbook.
  16. L

    Accountability Friends! :)

    Today I read more of a parenting book my therapist recommended. I think it's nearly perfect for my situation. I also did therapy, had a good cry, talked through a lot, and now am having a nice hot drink and trying to take gentle care of myself after a long, busy, beautiful, stressful holiday...
  17. L

    Intrusive Thoughts And Memories

    The two things I find most helpful are sharing the thoughts, in detail, with my therapist, getting through the emotions behind them and being heard and supported. Also, one intrusive thought in particular I had (abuse related) she actually suggested a very violent counter-attack fantasy against...
  18. L

    I Feel Like Nobody Can Help Me And Nobody Wants To.

    Have you tried a support group? Or therapy on a sliding scale? Or different medication? Your screen name belies a bit of optimism, which sounds as if it's buried deep right now, but I'm glad it's there and I'm glad you've posted, it's one more sign that you are trying to take care of yourself...
  19. L

    I Hit My Husband

    My dear, if your denial only lasted weeks, count yourself among the lucky. What you've been through is very ugly, the abuse and the PTSD symptoms. It's unfair but true that you're now responsible for stopping the repercussions of something horrible that was done to you through no fault of your...
  20. L

    I Hit My Husband

    You asked if your only option was really to see a therapist. You absolutely need psychological help pronto based on what I've read. Just because you're both sober and repentant right now, that does not mean you're through the woods. I'm not going to whitewash it. You are in for bad troubles...
  21. L

    Cousin Thinks T Is Causing All Of My Issues

    One thing about therapy in general: doing better often means things look worse, especially for a while at the beginning. That could be your cousin's cause for concern. Therapy gives us a safe space to reevaluate how difficult events/issues/people have impacted us, and as we open up to seeing the...
  22. L

    I Hit My Husband

    I hope you'll try and imagine the most perfect therapist, and then seek them out. Try and imagine someone who is caring, very smart, down to earth, experienced, comforting, can help you make sense of absolutely everything you're going through, and has helped lots of people with very very similar...
  23. L

    Accountability Friends! :)

    I'm feeling tired, stressed, and sad today. I did not read DBT yesterday, but I will today. Yesterday I did do things to lower my stress though, read for pleasure, took a nap, wrote to my therapist, so am giving myself some credit. Today I'll try and focus on rest and reading the therapeutic...
  24. L

    Accountability Friends! :)

    Today, reading my DBT workbook and another. Maybe a visualization MP3 if I can get some privacy.
  25. L

    Accountability Friends! :)

    Today, therapy and soup-making.
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