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It's a catch-22. I used to love being social. Now I still want to and need to. But it takes a toll on me while it is helping me. Ugh!

So I went to see some friends for a while last night. Seeing them really pulled me up out of a dark place. They always have a way of making me feel welcome and liked. Twice in the evening my anxiety caused me to shake uncontrollably. It was physically painful. One shaking event was while we...

It's getting better, friend. Maybe one more day until totally gone. I imagine I will be back to lifting weights and taking a walk tomorrow. We'll see what the day brings.

Thanks! I'll make note of these!

You are welcome. I hadn't seen any posts from you for a bit, so I wanted to see how you are doing. I'm glad you are making it by, even if one day at a time. Sometimes that's all we can do. Ugh! Living with mom can be really hard as an adult. I lived with mine for 6 months at the end of my...

Thanks! Ditto. I was actually studying to be a mental health therapist when my PTSD knocked me off my rails. When I'm in the mood, I research the heck out of everything. Lol. Now that is funny 😂 I have to baby step. It's all I can do now. Anybody got a binky?

This is good to hear! I just reread this post and was wondering the same as @survivor, how are you doing? I'm glad to hear you are hanging in there. Any change in your experience?

Hello friend, I'm sorry for the dreams you are having which are troubling you. I have some too. Mine are usually a matter of having a happy situation in my dream, but still feeling all my crippling waking symptoms even in my dream. The symptoms ruin the happy situation in my dream. Now that...

My tongue is raw. It is so irritating after a while! This probably makes the list of less annoying things. Still it is irritating nonetheless. Short entry. Ha!

Well, I got out for a walk today. That helped. I think regular exercise is going to have to be an ongoing tool in my coping mechanism toolbox. I was doing really well there for a while. I was walking 2-5 miles most every day. I was feeling pretty good. Then I caught a cold. Nowadays that...

Thanks @somerandomguy. I appreciate the welcome. I don't know how experienced my therapist is in working with trauma. He's a good fit for me for now though. First of five that I can sit with for more than a couple sessions. Thanks for the tip. The link is actually too much for me to read...

I get that. Some things are hard to share. Sometimes everything and anything is hard to share! For me, it wouldn't be about my therapist doing anything wrong. It would just be about me feeling vulnerable or exposed, or wondering what someone will think of me if I tell them. Journaling may...

That's great. I bet your students appreciate you making class fun. I can't imagine teaching with social anxiety. Congratulations. We're in the same boat. Yesterday I was so messed up with symptoms that I reached out to some old friends via social media. They said they knew I would come...

I'm sorry you are experiencing this guilt right now. It's so hard to feel involved with something you despise. You did nothing wrong though. As far as you knew, you were encouraging a healthy relationship. It wasn't until later that you discovered the horror of what was going on. It's been...

I think maybe in addition to my PTSD, I may be having something of a mid-life crisis. I'm turning 50 in May and sometimes I feel so old. It scares me to think of being miserable for what ever time I have left. I'd like to just enjoy what time I have. But I often find it challenging to enjoy...

So, I've never written a trauma diary before. I doubt I'll immediately identify a specific focus here. I'm just writing. I spent the last two weeks thinking I was avoiding processing. It happens anyhow. Can't seem to stop my mind from continually tormenting me. I guess I might as well...

I'm so glad you had a good appointment with your therapist! I've been putting off talking to my therapist for a week or so. Avoidance. Ugh. I hope to soon be reporting a good meeting just as you are. Woodsy1

I like it. You convey so much with so few words.

Hello @rusty_maestro, I was diagnosed with MDD and GAD in 2014, right when I came out of an abusive faith group. I think my VA providers saw this as a recurrence of the MDD and GAD I experienced back in 2003 instead of a new diagnosis. This was likely my own fault to a large degree. I wasn't...

Thanks for this. I probably need to find some more hobbies. I like to get out of the house. Go for a walk. Go for a drive. The weather has been rainy and dark here lately. I've had a cold and just been staying inside getting depessed. One day the utility crew was preparing the...

You are welcome. Thanks for being there.

It is A great forum for connecting with folks who can relate to our trauma. I'm very thankful for this forum. Glad to know you, sorry for the circumstances.

Accepting it for sure. And it's not generally anger in my case. Scared. Frustrated. Confused. Trying to figure out how to live with the new me.

I like the times when you can just take it all in.

You are not going to fail. By your writing on here, I'd think you are pretty smart. What music are you listening to? Mr Bear under arm sounds comforting. I think I need to consider getting a bear. 🐻 I'm hanging in there. Thanks for asking. 🤠