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I am sorry your husband is a liar and will not change. People have to care about the truths they give and your feelings are on the line each time he does not. That must hurt. I am looking for jobs and my roommate said 'don't be a politician. you aren't dishonest enough.' Have you ever had...

That is kind of you that you don't want to overwhelm your friends. It is hard to know when we would do that or when if both talked it would help both. What you say about "Plus I just can't bring myself to share what I shared with my T with anyone else" is another matter though, pretty...

Thank you for the response. I am sorry for your experience and past being such that they are hard to logically believe. It is painful when what has happened has us shrug our shoulders saying "who gonna believe me on this?" I myself was not raised in a cult, but have supported several who were...

Hi Namali, I am not sure how much i can say but i am sorry for your loss and how it came about. It is hard to imagine the amount of trauma you are feeling over this. It sounds like he reached out when it was really too late, yet you are still wondering what you could have done. This is...

If long winded post, that is okay. From how hard it has hit you with crying that long, it has hurt deeply. If bad session after just losing a therapist or having break-up with one, this must be painful and i wonder if you had any 'where do i go now?' question come up. Good that you are...

The biggest thing a therapist can bring into a relationship is their own humanity. If they are willing to overcome misunderstandings or say 'my mistake, let's fix this' it is very healing when we learn first hand better ways to resolve issues than the ways many of us were taught when growing...

Good to hear there was not pressure to talk before you are ready. Aren't so many of us in trouble because we were pressured into something when not ready? Good natural understanding on your therapist's part. If it is hard to talk about, talking about it being hard to talk about is all good...

Sounds like something of hopelessness and helplessness was triggered in some way, or that is my guess (could be wrong). Yes all of this is painful and it all seems too much at times. We so need each other through this. Good that you reach for extra support. I can not reply specifically to...

Good idea to get some extra support then. Had a friend once say 'don't get caught too alone in your pain'. Such an absolute wisdom. Is understandable fear about the processing not stopping once you leave. Scary thought of being caught too alone with it and not having the support you need...

Sometimes when hurting and afraid and trust issues are on the line, feeling as you as is every bit normal. I don't think you are being unreasonable if it is four days. If you are so careful with boundaries that you have only mailed a couple of times before this, then when you do you really need...

New therapist soon. The one leaving still has some doubts about something that happened, the original event and my reaction to it, which itself was traumatic given my state of mind and some not so great influences. I have to retell the whole story of something outrageously improbable and...

It can be hard to concentrate with trauma coming up. It must be a lot of stress if in college and you are having symptoms coming up. Good luck with getting focus any way you can. If you are feeling scared, naked, and vulnerable that is pretty common at this point. You therapist and others...

Please be careful when it comes to being disbelieved. If there is not too much damage yet from it, then maybe getting support from places where you would be believed would be helpful in this. Sometimes there can be secondary trauma from being disbelieved. Sadly, i know far far too much about...

I understand what you mean then. It is not as though they are really dead as in some depersonalization sense where you detach from the feelings about them, feelings you need to heal. You simply had to let the relationship die. I have not really done that funeral thing before but in a couple...

That is tricky. You do not want your T to feel invaded so while wanting to be up front if afraid of reaction, i can see how it would be tough. Facebook pages existing and looking one up i do not see as an invasion of privacy as there are different privacy options. His putting a picture there...

You sound overwhelmed! If wanting to load up on meds rather than dealing with therapy it almost must seem a bit much. That you have a good relationship with your therapist is good. The therapy getting harder and harder since the hospitalization i wonder if the pain is closer to the surface...

It is easy to feel dirty and disgusting and internalize that even though it was the person hurting us who really was. It can be hard about. It is okay for you to say how afraid you are of talking. Going little by little is sometimes needed. It is painful. If scared you would dissociate and...

Yes, i absolutely mean the psychological prison that it is causing you. I am in one of those right now where someone not talking about something implausible leaving me not believed by even my therapist is causing me to be in one. Yours is a prison you never deserved. Mine is also really. Our...

Forgiving done falsely can lead to great problems. I knew one person in denial who had 'prayed to forgive their abuser and it was done' and yet she was always enjoying hurting others. Read something about a grudge being like drinking poison and hoping the other person would die. There seems...

I just put to someone that the person who hurt her did a crime to her in putting her in position to where she was left alone in all her pain. I need to remember when i got angry that is how i felt.

It sounds like you are wanting to make sure you get into it all in a safe way. This is a good idea if you are fearing getting into too much when you aren't ready. Telling someone who isn't your therapist is also a good step in making sure you have a good overall support system. One thing i...

Thank you for the responses. Right now the lack of belief is doing immeasurable harm. That you both talk in healing terms does help to hear. I have been left pretty stranded by how this has played out and i spiraled downward more the more i was disbelieved and got angrier at the person at...

Not sure i can add much, but wanted to say this topic caught me off guard with regard to issues involved. I don't particularly like to control or dominate nor be controlled nor be dominated, so the thought that bdsm could have an element of yielding 'trust' to the other was something i may have...

Good that your therapist and you are working on a plan to help if obstacles or feelings or dissociation gets in the way. This is big. This is scary. That is normal. What Raddoll put with "Remember that the feeling of Anxiety is not telling you this is a bad idea, it's telling you that this...

Wow, this is very very tricky. There can be inept therapists and there can be simply incompatible therapists. Finding one who best suits our needs is not always easy. I myself thrive with some humanistic or client-centered leaning while these days cognitive behavioral is very popular (i like...