Froze In Therapy

[DiamondBug]

I went to therapy today after a my t had a two week holiday break today. He pretty much jumped straight into wanting to talk about a severe trauma that happened that I've never really spoke properly about, I could tell him up to a certain point before it felt like I hit a wall where I could no longer speak, I just kept going over in my head what I wanted to say and the most comfortable way I could say it, but I couldn't utter anything, it was like I was frozen, it took me a while to even tell him I remember the course of events but I just can't find the words to tell him about it, it was a horrible feeling. I've froze a few times but this is the worst time in a while. I don't think I can write what happened down, I think it's because I've stuffed it all down for years. He was supportive about it all, but still it's hard. He said he'll just keep bringing it up every now and again to encourage me to talk about it, but there's no pressure. I feel I need to speak about it though. It's just so uncomfortable and horrible. I've had a few flashbacks this week, one was specifically bad because I was at work and I had to run to be physically sick, which wasn't nice. I suppose it's harder to talk about it when I've had more flashbacks, because it seemed the freezing thing was worse this week. I don't know whether this can be stopped, I think I've built a massive wall.

 

[Freedomfighter]

I went to therapy today after a my t had a two week holiday break today. He pretty much jumped strai...

Yeah, that is really really tough. Because when we are in actual flashbacks that is when the memories are most intense, and that is the best time to work these things out. However that is also the very same time we are most distressed and the flight or fight process might be present at that time. So I think it is not so much us locking up, it is simply our brain is attempting to flee.....

A personal journal that only you have and write down your emotions in could be immensely useful. You can just present the written findings to your therapist and I would think that could be a better way of you keeping communication open without the stressful attempt to vocalize your pains.

I know that whenever victims are either actively abused or remember past abuse they simply can not talk about it, it is just too painful for them. I don't see why written texts like that could not be helpful in such cases. I am sure a good therapist would be understanding in such cases.

 

[Beaglefan61]

Good to hear there was not pressure to talk before you are ready. Aren't so many of us in trouble because we were pressured into something when not ready? Good natural understanding on your therapist's part. If it is hard to talk about, talking about it being hard to talk about is all good. This kind of stuff can freeze us. Bit by bit i hope your therapists warmth will help thaw any freeze up you have going on. Best to you in how things go when flashbacks or physical sickness comes up because of all that is going on. It is tough and we all need support through this.