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I Was Told I Have Cptsd, I Thought I Didn't

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Beebee

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My therapist who is also my psychiatrist told me I don't fit the criteria for personality disordes but that my development has been affected by severe trauma. He thinks it is cPTSD. I know it is not a formal diagnosis yet, he wanted to put it under F62.00 of CIE-10.

F62.00 Enduring personality change after catastrophic experience
Enduring personality change, present for at least two years, following exposure to catastrophic stress. The stress must be so extreme that it is not necessary to consider personal vulnerability in order to explain its profound effect on the personality. The disorder is characterized by a hostile or distrustful attitude toward the world, social withdrawal, feelings of emptiness or hopelessness, a chronic feeling of "being on edge" as if constantly threatened, and estrangement. Post-traumatic stress disorder (F43.1) may precede this type of personality change.
Personality change after:
· concentration camp experiences
· disasters
· prolonged:
· captivity with an imminent possibility of being killed
· exposure to life-threatening situations such as being a victim of terrorism
· torture


I experienced severe trauma as a child so it was before my personality was formed, but it is validating.


I think therapy with him finally begins after a year of use less appointments.

I am scared, I feel naked.... Vulnerable... I see him in four days... I thought I didn't have it... Because ii buried everything deep inside after I left the abusive home at 18. It is confusing....

He asked me to write down what I want from therapy.... But I don't know, I don't know what bor his living is. He wants my objectives but it was to survive... No life, just alive. I don't know what to write... I am at college, I know I want to study and work to help people ( I study a medical health degree)

Too confusing, and I have to study but I can't with all of this going on.
 
The trouble is that psych's and therapists often have to put a "diagnosis" in the box in order to justify treatment. The formal diagnosis is less important than the objectives the two of you work out between you.... hence the question about what you want from therapy.

Many will say something like "What brings you to therapy?" one reason for this form of words is to suss out if it is the person themselves that wants therapy or whether it's other people who are telling them they need therapy.

The importance of the question depends on the type of therapy..... if the therapist does CBT your answer will be the focus of the work in an explicit way 9particularly if there's a limit to the number of sessions). Other types of therapy just use it as a starting point and spend a while exploring stuff before mutually agreeing on the way forward.

Therapy is varied, so knowing what type of therapy you're getting helps understand the process.
 
It can be hard to concentrate with trauma coming up. It must be a lot of stress if in college and you are having symptoms coming up. Good luck with getting focus any way you can. If you are feeling scared, naked, and vulnerable that is pretty common at this point. You therapist and others supporting you can help if they are safe with you and comforting as you need. Right now good support and care you do need. If you do not have a personality disorder yet were held back in development in some ways by the trauma i hope you can develop in the ways you need now.
 
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