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A lot of great suggestions have been made that I think is worth taking up . I myself was in a situation like yours a year ago , and I had to try new things out to see what did and didn't work for me . I think one thing that might perhaps work is to take a self inventory and make a list of what...

Thank you to everyone for their feedback regarding this . I don't believe I am suffering from depression at the moment because I am able to be pretty productive during my week days . I think It's basically that the music i am doing every day and spending time out does and being with community...

Hi everyone . I am going through a lot of good stuff and bad stuff and there are a lot of changes . First off , My girlfriend and I ended our relationship after lasting 4 years . This year we started to see each other on different paths , and because oour views on each other changed . We...

Thanks Kwan . I am still unsure if reconciling . The last two years , not having my older siblings and b mom being involved in my life has actually been a blessing . I wonder however , if Inshould give my sibling a chance . He is willing to meet with me and my counsellor , but again I wonder...

Thanks for all the replies. I find it very interesting what Kwan said regarding not giving an apology for all the hurt they caused . It's interesting , because the only time bmom apologized to me is is when I confronted her about the secrets she kept from me. Instead she made all sorts of...

I myself was wondering the same thing , but I do believe she doesn't want to face and deal with the stuff I uncovered . She can say she misses so much till the cows come home , but unless she is willing to reach out to me her self , and come to counselling and get professional help herself ...

So Friday I received an email from an old sibling who wanted me to reach out to biological mother because she told him that she misses me . Just the fact that he emailed me brought about so much pain for all the verbal abuse he caused just because I made some mistakes and lied to him repeatedly...

Thanks again for everyone's warm wishes and replies. I am still adjusting to the move , but it's going okay . I recently joined a music club that plays in hospitals , senior homes and other venues. I am going to be playing 2-3 times a week. I also reconnected with a wonderful non profit...

Dr . Rising Sun eh. That has a nice ring to it . Congrationals . You worked extremely hard for 8 years ,and I am so proud of you . You have also shown that even suffering from PTSD or any other trauma related disorder , that it is possible to move forward and experience life in a whole new way .

Thank you so much for the replies . My first full day was awesome . I got to play some music on my guitar for others and they liked it . I really feel like it's a great environment

Thank you so much . I am super excited about this

So the reason for my absence is due to finding a new community home , and the great news is that I have found one and I am moving in two days . I am so thrilled with moving into a boarding home because I will be certainly be cared for there . My meals and cleaning will be provided by staff . I...

So just a few hours ago , I was practicing a piece for my guitar and when I decided to use the metronome I had trouble playing rhythm . In the end I hit my tolerance level and stopped playing . Not long after, I went to the convenience store and bought few junk food treats. Whenever I eat...

Yup The home in which my suffering took place is close to two hours away .

I am encouraged to see that you're making progress. I believe that experiencing joy and peace is so crucial in our recovery because it is a positive sign that we are moving forward.

So as some of you are aware . Most of my trauma that led to my diagnosis of c-PTSD was in my house during my childhood. Most of the time when I am in a good environment , I am not having any major flashbacks, negative thought patterns ,and am a generally decent mood. I am also able to be quite...

I been getting a sense today that the new year will be bringing more healing and relief, but at the same time, next year I believe will be the time to discuss with my counsellor about the sexual abuse . I believe however , that I will have the right supports to be able to reach out ; I really...

I am seeing a counsellor and we to about this whenever it comes up , but thank you for your concern cool cat . Thank you for replying Casey . It is true that their are people who are indeed in worse places than I I believe that somewhere deep down I do matter. I also have to remember that...

So for the last monh or so , I been getting suicidal thoughts . I still have the desire to do it , but I can't carry it out . I want to do it primary because then my suffering of these last 30+ years will come to an end . I could no longer have to cling on the hope of looking forward to...

I am so happy to hear that you are even willing to let your therapist read some of the threads . I think that takes an extraordinary amount of trust . I indeed have no problem with that . Granted I don't reply to your threads, but that is probably have to do ugh me being so absent . Regarding...

I remember being forced to go to church and participating in the choire.. My biological mother was a catholic and says she believes in God , yet she says she never baptized us because she didn't want to bring religion into the family . Yet I don't understand why would she force me and my...

So good news is always worth telling and so I have some good updates . First my music studies are coming along fine ; almost finished my 2nd grade classical guitar Royal conservatiry year . On top of that , I am finishing a small ensemble music course at the workman arts . Their is also a...

I never said I cutted family members simply because of their beliefs . No where did I imply stating any reasons of cutting them simply based on beliefs . Perhaps I should of stated that I am in contact with my sister because unlike the rest of my family , she treated me decently. Even though...

So it has been almost 2 years since I spoke to most of my siblings save one sister that we are still in contact because we are born again believers of Jesus . Aside from that , I did get one email earlier this year from my Brother Steve who basically tried to make me feel extremely guilty for...

I am indeed proud that you set some boundaries as a means of self care ; I am still trying to do that . It can be scary , I wanted to set boundaries and tried to with my old siblings , but unfortunately they did not take it to well , and in the end I had to cut ties with them because I did not...