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His 'treatment' currently consists of a 30 min appt with a psychiatrist once every 3 months. He takes no medication. He was seeing a psychologist fortnightly but she is on maternity leave and he will not 'start over' with another. Hopefully she comes back around the middle of the year. Sigh!

Thank you @Warrior Chicken. I really appreciate your insight. As far as 1 & 2 go - is it helpful for me to try and argue that its a safe environment? Or is it better to just accept that his hypervigilance is what it is and go along with that? I think you have 3 pegged. He suffers from a...

As a supporter it can be very difficult to know how to handle what appears to me to be cognitive distortions. Eg 1 - 4 wheel driving - tree across track forced him to turn back. When telling me about it he says "We didn't get ambushed but we had to go the long way around." He's in an...

Can I suggest a reframe on the first boundary? If you do x I will do y sure sounds like an ultimatum. It comes across as an attempt to control someone else. Boundaries are for you. So I'd suggest framing it as "If he ghosts again then I must end the relationship". The second one sounds more...

:hug: Freida. Thank you so much for sharing. It is an amazing insight for those of us struggling with what looks like "rejection" from our sufferers.

Because you can't carry him up the mountain. You could try but its impossible. We're not talking about some half arsed stroll up a hill. And he hasn't got a sprained ankle. We're talking Mt Everest. When you get to the Hillary Step and a storm is blowing in and you need to go single file...

^^^this. Somehow you have to get zen about this as a supporter. I'll let you know if I get there.

Protect your kid. First and foremost. Hugs if you accept them.

I'd bet my last dollar HE doesn't know what he wants. PTSD is a roller coaster and for every up there is a down. Doesn't matter how many times you get close (THIS time it'll work) there is always the isolation around the corner.

Sigh! I've been with my vet for almost 5 years. We "break up" all the time. He's stood there and told me that he doesn't love me anymore. He's told me he never wants to see me again. He's told me that he feels no connection to me whatsoever. He's told me that he feels completely alone in...

@Friday - Where can I buy your book? Seriously. Your explanations and analogies are awesome. :hug:

Lol - our house was bought in part because it is located on a reverse slope and therefore would be easier to defend from attack. (We're not preppers but... :whistling:)

@Warrior Chicken - as the daughter of a combat vet and the partner of a combat vet I need to tell you that this ^^^ is a supporter's greatest fear. My partner has said words to this effect so many times. I wish I could MAKE you and him understand that this would NOT free me at ALL. This would...

Sometimes it can be a little hard to tell from the title which is a memoir of an actual veteran or veteran's partner and which is a cheesy romance.

My vet left me a note the other day which I kid you not read: 1. Please feed chooks 2. Polish brass 3. We need more dishwasher tablets 4. Love you xx Ah. Romance is not dead. :roflmao:

Hah - I once read a crappy romance novel called "Snowbound with a Soldier". The guy was a combat vet with PTSD apparently from mucking around with his best buddy as they patrolled the streets of Kabul or Baghdad or somewhere like that and he gave his mate a playful shove which caused him to go...

@Stephernovas - my man was diagnosed with PTSD by the Army and then re-deployed. He had been assessed as "only" 20% impaired and deemed able to keep doing his job. It was later in his career that they upgraded him to 100% impaired and medically retired him. No different to his broken ankle...

Please please read and re-read and then read again what @Friday and @Freida wrote. Then read it again. Until you can quote it in your sleep. There is a big difference between negativity and reality. You've been given gold by two veterans and your response is "if you're not going to feed me...

Numbness for a few days I can handle. My vet has been numb or angry towards me for a year now. Intellectually I know why. The reasons have nothing to do with me. But the treatment hurts just the same.

My vet has pushed me away consistently for the last year of our 4.5 year relationship. He told me he didn't feel connected to me at all. Now I feel much like you do - lonely, disconnected and feeling like I'm acting in front of him for fear that if I am my authentic self it will result in a...

Have sent you a private message. :hug:

My parents met in 1965, married in 1971. My dad went to war the same year. They're still together. How do they cope? I think there is a lot of space in their togetherness if that makes sense. My mum does not appear codependent. She has @Sweetpea76 's zen attitude to his PTSD, drinking etc and...

@Freida - thank you for the insight. It's painful to hear but also so helpful because it's hard to remember not to talks it personally when it's personal attacks you keep hearing.

Sigh! :banghead: It's like he almost gets there - and then bails on the conversation. I get that's he doesn't want to talk about it. It's a hard conversation for anyone. But I also get that you need to have the conversation. It's almost like the subject matter of the conversation no longer...

I'm sorry you had to go through that. It must have been very scary for you to see him suffering and not be able to reach him. All you can do is suggest that he seek professional help. If he refuses then that is his choice. You then have to make a choice whether or not to stay with him...