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I also agree that you are doing so well. I also agree that it is no surprise that you disassiciate, but you are still conecting so much, and I really hope you can give yoursef the time to just feel the sadness and all the other emotions which are not surprisingly coming up for you and am praying...

Thank you all so much for your comments and support. @Hashi you are right that I am finding acceptance very hard at the moment. For so long I have refused to allow myself to connect to all the pain and all the emotions, and in so many ways, even though I know that it is the only way forwards, I...

Recently I have had a lot of things coming up and have been connecting a lot more to the pain of the abuse which happened to me, and within flashbacks have been suffering with massive pain which is like period pain. This week I have had my period, and this time have been finding it very hard...

Sorry to hear it has all been so hard for you. I am so glad that your therapist is so supportive and that you have at least got the official diagnosis of PTSD on paper now and will continue to pray for you during all this and hope your appointment with your therapist goes well. God bless Helen

I had been wondering how you are doing and am so glad to hear that the trust is building up so much more with you therapist. You are doing so well with everything you are going through, and it is no wonder that you are feeling anxiety and stress from it, and I am praying you can really feel and...

@macca I would definitely suggest waiting until you have the support of your therapist and totally agree that it is so important to trust your instincts within this. When I first started working through things in this way I found it very hard and eventually came to a point where I just tried to...

I have only just read this thread but wanted to write about my own experience. I have personally benefitted a lot from using the concept of an inner child. For me I see it as a part of myself but that emotionally I was effectively trapped in the place I was in when the traumas were happening...

I am not surprised you are anxious but you are doing so well. The evidence so far it that you can do this. You have taken some major steps and are doing so well and I am praying for strength and courage for you and most of all that you can find safety and reassurance in all the parts of you that...

I can relate so much to what you are saying and have had many times where I have felt so similar. I have had times in ministry and therapy where I have just ran or hid and also early on in my relationship with my husband where something intimate triggered things in me, though I don't remember...

Knowing she deserves better is the first step, and it is a process. It was first about six years ago when I read the book and at that time I worked with it for a bit but as the emotions became harder and I could not deal with it I stopped counselling and tried to shut her and it out completely...

I just reread one of your other posts where you said that you do not want it to be real and know for me this is so hard too. So much I just want it to be a story in my head, and really connecting with all the emotions and feelings of it is still so hard, as I just do not want to accept it and do...

Yes I do believe she can be unfrozen and taught new things. I am very aware for me that often there is still a lot of fear in those places, which makes it very hard to trust, but the more I have been able to feed in the safety, and more I have been able to begin to release and express some of...

What you have said is so powerful and I believe so key. I really do believe that this little girl is also you, and it is not surprising that when the feelings and emotions of guilt, shame, betrayal and anger were so great that you were not able to deal with them and that your response would have...

Sorry to hear things are still up in the air but glad you seem to be more at peace with it and I am praying that you can really use this time to draw close to God as He draws close to you and that you can feel His love and peace surrounding you. Will be good to see you back on here a bit more...

I still do not necessarily agree that it is as black and white as being a pedophile OR being a good person and do think it is possible to have elements of both good and bad, but have been thinking about this a lot and do agree that thinking about steps in between which ensure you are weighing up...

Well done. Though I can not even imagine how hard this must be for you right now, I am so pleased that you are really taking seriously the fact that he does not have the rights to you at all, and know this is such an important thing in all this, I do also agree with @digger1 and really hope...

I can see that you are trying to evaluate it all and can relate to that so much. It was also a long time ago for me but all these things are just surfacing for me now. I think that what is your responsibility is to yourself. I personally feel that forgiveness is very important but forgiveness...

I think in so many ways it can be so complex in a situation like this and there really are so many things to weigh up. You are right that you have to think of yourself so much and what the repercussions would be for going public. Sadly it is true that so often it can be the abused word against...

I just wanted to add as I have now read the last other posts, that though it has been very hard I know for myself that I did come to a place where even though I did not believe the person in my past was totally evil, that I did have to talk to others in my family so they could be aware and...

I am sorry to hear how complex it is for you and can relate in many ways too, as one of my abusers was someone who I do love and believe loves me too, and these conflicting emotions I find very hard to reconcile and also feel very much like I am to blame for wanting to be loved, even though...

I have just read lots of this thread and no I wouldn't say you are too far gone. You are in a hard place and as @digger1 said appear to be being very hard on yourself, but the fact that you are here and wanting to allow yourself to express the things which are inside you is good. You want hope...

Welcome to the forum. I am so sorry to hear that everything has come crashing around you and that you are in such a hard place. Though it may not feel like much, wanting help is such an important step and I am so glad that you have been able to find this forum and made that as a first step and...

That is so good to hear. I am praying for real trust, openness and honesty within your relationship and that as you both work towards healing you can really be restored and that you can also grow closer as you journey this together. God bless Helen

I am not a supporter but a sufferer but wanted to write as I know that my experience with my husband has been so good. He comes from a very different background to me so lots of the things I have been through were very new to him, and though I have realised that he is not the person I will talk...

I would agree with others on here that trusting your gut is the only way. For myself I also find I helpful to remember that you are not convicting him at all or bringing him before a court, you are exploring the emotions and feelings which you have inside you. This is a private thing between you...