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I think for me, I needed to hear "You are perfect just the way you are, and I love you for all your parts. I won't hurt you when you do things wrong, you're only a child and I will help you with love to learn and grow. You are safe with me" ....it makes me sad :sorry:

But it doesn't seem like a "normal" reaction to panic, is it? Is it from my past? Am I trying to punish myself for being out-of-control? It bothers me a lot that I don't understand! I came from an abusive family and was taught never to show emotions, or you'd get something to cry about, but...

It's through Kaiser and since I only just started, I'm not that clear ha. From what I understand it's a group where everyone has PTSD AND they self-harm (most are recovering alcoholics)...each week we have a lesson with a T and discuss how we cope interpersonally, personally, and what good...

So, I totally don't get this!!! A couple days ago I was in a PTSD seeking safety group (safety from others and ourselves), and this guy started talking about his trauma (which is not allowed because it can trigger people, duh!) and I had a panic attack! I blasted out of the room just about...

@Snowwhite ya I know it's true, but I was raised to believe that my emotions/pain were not real and I only learned how to stuff them and ignore them...now, I just don't know how :(. And I feel so judged by others, especially doctors. My T says it makes sense to her, but how does one learn to...

Wow! I'm so proud of you, I hope you are too :)! To paint inside of cut is amazing! You dealt with your powerful frightening emotions in a really healthy way! I agree with others, I have shown my T some really dark and disgusting pieces and she always helps me work through the intensity of...

Hi all, I've been in various for my ankle, tendon damage that the dr can see on the MRI, but i struggle to believe my own pain and issue! What do you call it when you hurt yourself further after you've already sustained an injury, or take risks with the injury to see if it's still there, or...

Thank you SO much for all your support and understanding! Okay, I think we've established that it's self-harm to benge on sweets until I'm sick, and that it's an unhealthy coping mechanism :( but how do I make it stop??? I'll go for days, sometimes weeks, detoxing from sweets, I feel better...

@Solara I actually have found that as long as the sweets don't touch my lips, I'm okay, BUT once I've started, I can't stop! It's terrible!! I feel so out if control, but it's like it gives me a high, and you always need more to keep the high going, you know?

Oops! Spelled @Barberian wrong in previous post ha!

@barbarian you're right, I'm definitely an addict, not diabetic, but my ADHD definitely seems involved :(. It's just like a drug as you said, and when I went off ALL sweets for 6 weeks my T thought I should stay off because I felt so much better, but it's hard to keep up. So many people I...

I feel like every time I post I start it by acknowledging that it's a stupid question...definitely unworthy ha argh! Anyway - So, I was just wondering, do others think gorging on sweets until you feel sick, really sick, is self-harm? I believe it's definitely a self-soothing behavior, but one...

This seems like such a small thing, but I'm realizing it's really bothering me and wanted to see what others thoughts were. A couple weeks ago I saw the psychiatrist (every 6 weeks to check meds) and as always I had to fill out a questionnaire in the waiting room scaling my depression and...

I did, sometime back, a cartoon strip of what it felt like with "my brain on PTSD". It actually continues to help me since I have a hard time espressing how that feels, and my struggles....I showed it to T just so she could see the intensity. (I've often thought about posting it on this forum...

Ooooo, I would love to know that too! Although, I don't have any answers, I certainly feel your pain :( Sally Sue

@Justmehere wow! That is some really big progress that you've made!!! Congratulations :)! I have been on a similar journey, having significant trust issues :(. But I guess if you (like me) didn't grow up learning it was safe to share your feelings,and what's happening, how could you know...

I'm so glad you're feeling more stable and are seeing your therapist tomorrow! I was very worried about you :arghh;! Thanks for letting us know how you are doing!! Keep us updated :) :hug: Sally Sue

Hi all, I get so much out of this site! But, I realized today I was triggered by one of the posts, and this month is the anniversary for me of a death, murder, suicide...I'm thinking "I hate April" :(. My T is on vacation this next week, and so I can't ask her...she's is very supportive of how...

I think it was only last week the T and I stumbled upon a trigger for me, when people's eyes are widely dilated, or dilate suddenly...that may sound very strange, but one of my recent traumas involved a friend dying in my arms and that's what happened to his eyes. I can't even remember how we...

@NovemberStar said "I used to become very suicidal and it hurt so much"...that's exactly what happened, she was tired or whatever, I picked up on it, cried the whole time (which she didn't seem to understand and I couldn't explain), and then I asked her for the suicide prevention/hotline number...

@Jane.l wow! You really do get it, which is completely horrible and nice to know I'm not alone. Why is it like this? I wish my body and soul could understand why I feel this way... Thank you all for all your support :hug:!

Dear Jane.I and I AM (I wish I knew how to tag your names, but I haven't figured that out :(), Thank you so much for your feedback! I want so much to email my T, but I'm locked in fear, and I feel like a big stupid baby :(. How do I get past the fear of her thinking I'm no good and selfish...

So, I have been consumed thinking about not having any appt with my T for 2 weeks (one of which she's on vacation), coming on the heels of our last appt where she was a little grumpy. She explained this, that it wasn't about me, but it still triggers my abandonment issues :( and then we have 2...

I haven't read that yet (but will totally go out and get it today :)! I use her audio visualization for PTSD ALL the time!! She is the voice that helps me go to sleep on so many nights. What's the book about? Did you get a lot out of it?

Sorry, I didn't mean to minimize your suffering by saying "bullying sucks!" For me that expression encompasses so much more then say, "bummers." The last thing I would want to do is invalidate your pain...I'm just not good at expressing my feelings/emotions :(.