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@FridayJones and @shimmerz, thank you both for your reassurances. My 20 year old has much to learn yeah. When she began counselling for her issues one of her therapists decided her symptoms were obviously caused by me or her father abusing her. She's learned a lot of behaviours second hand...

Welcome @bumbleweed. Forgive me if this diary is not your first post. I may have missed your intro. Just wanted to say hi, and well done starting your journal. The hard parts always starting xxx

Nope, not rambling thats me ;) Thank you for your input @shimmerz, you ladies with a few years more than me under your belt have proved to be my most valuable resource here. Intent? This is interesting. Do you believe that loss of self control is reasonable excuse for name calling or...

A Ah you are very young. Plenty of time, once you sort this dreaded ptsd out :)

No children? :(

My husband for speaking to my son about issues that were personal, and should have remained confidential. 18 or not, my children do not need to be forced to carry my burden What does it achieve? Nothing except pain His spite is so childish sometimes.

I agree with most of your sentiments. I didn't like time out or isolation for my kids much either, rare occurrence. I always found appealing to my kids conscience the best method. 'do you realise how it makes such and such feel when you take their toy? Do you like it when you feel that...

Thank you for your supportive response :) I do not recall the context now, so many years later, I only mention it by way of finding out others boundaries and limits. He was incredibly cruel so far as words go, that was not the worst, he would often use my most vulnerable secrets against me...

Yes, I totally agree with you. I was very young then and not at all in control of my emotions yet. I just reacted. Unbelievably he never did hit me back. Not once did he ever lay a hand on me actually And because of those 3 occasions, I was labeled the abusive one in the relationship It...

Thats where the lines become blurred though isn't it :( Because then it becomes, if you can give it, you can take it.

I watched a movie from the 80's I think it was, about a nuclear war hitting the UK, and the fallout They explored what would happen, up to 25 years later. I had dreams about that movie for a year after, and it still comes back occasionally now, 3 years later. Not sure what about it impacted...

I managed to raise my 20 and 18 yr old without single smack With them the threat was enough. Actually, appealing to their conscious was enough. Actually. Im trying to work out if I over reacted to a.situation in my marriage. Im worried I handled something badly because I was so determined...

I have hit my kids Dad, when I was very very young, think 19. Three times from memory Once because he crashed both our cars,.smashed a window and broke our new stereo Another because he said I was a slut who f*cked.my father because I wanted to. And the third for forgetting to pick our...

N Never hit through loss of control? Lol. I'm like 30000 questions a minute I know. I'm sorry

So you were not hit? Actually my own Mother said to me not 3 days ago, she wished my Dad had beat her. Then she would be able to see it clearly as domestic violence. She is still recovering from the emotional scars a decade after him leaving her. She is right.

I never have hit my children (actually this is a lie. My youngest daughter got suspended 3 times in her very first yr of school, at my witts end, and having tried every technique from.punishment to ignoring, I told her if it happened again I would spank her. I was mortified when she was...

Do you mind me asking, were you verbally abused as a child?

Do you yourself yell @scout86? Or name call? Do you think there is EVER an excuse good enough to warrant hitting another?

Yes, I think many of us survivors would carry this trait. I guess though it depends. I found my sympathy level on a thread where a young woman who was intoxicated, had sex and later felt violated intolerable to myself once I read it back to myself after I typed. But my daughters bf recently...

Have you considered online? My youngest sister is having some success with her anxiety by being treated online, as she struggles to go out. How old are you? Seriously, all of what you describe can be managed. I can promise you. Its just no walk in the park, retraining your brain from a...

'Never criticize for what you did to survive' Agreed. Best advice ever. Wish someone had explained that to me decades ago. Wise words.

Thank you for your response @Lionheart777 So you believe that your own experiences have not caused you to stray from the generally accepted norms at all? Nor have you behaved in a manner during your ptsd which would constitute a break in those conditions?

I think people are at a loss because you said it all.. And nobody wants to be a downer on you. Will living with this get easier? Yes with a lot of determination on your part. Will it ever go away completely? I do not know. I keep retraumatising myself, so haven't allowed me the chance...

It is you are right :( Those days of looking at those with seemingly normal, uncomplicated and happy live are tough. I try to avoid fb and other social media when I'm that depressed. I wish I had words that take it all away. I do not. But it will get better. Will always get better...

I really hope people will discuss this one with me at length. Its really an important discussion, both in general and to me personally. I've always battled with it. So the thought started a week or two ago, and was originally in relation to what constitutes rape, however my thoughts have...