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Watching a blackbird pair dig up worms in my garden I found a few moments of real peace.

I get it, to the point where I get triggered by eye contact. Much easier to be invisible. I’m curently working on it in T, but it’s the toughest thing we’ve tackled to date.

Strangely spring-like- overcast and drizzly but warm.

Redbush (Rooibos) is a good tea alternative, it tastes much like tea and is naturally caffeine free. I never liked coffee but when I was younger I was drinking 8 or 9 cups of tea a day with 2 spoons of sugar in each. I cut out the sugar years ago- reduced it over a period, half a spoon at a...

A recovery truck! My car broke down in her driveway (sooo embarrasing).

Thanks everyone. The conversation hasn't happened yet. I know it will happen because I know that my boss has been told what happened (my workplace's private meeting room has very thin walls and I walked past when the conversation was happening. Someone should probably point out to management...

I always think if I were a flower I'd probably be a Gorse. Too spiky for words.

I've been thinking about it. I get on okay with my boss, and he does know I have 'issues' outside of work. But he's also prone to not listen to me. I'm thinking I'm just going to have to be as honest as I can. I don't mind admitting I was in the wrong (though I did feel a bit provoked by some)...

All my life I've repressed my feelings. I'm not used to feeling much of anything, other than the occasional temper flare, which usually burns out pretty quick. But for the last few weeks I've been kind of on edge, snapping over little things for very little reason. My T is convinced I'm...

Ridiculously warm for February. Apparently it could get up to 21 degrees this weekend.

When, yet again, you are saved from serious injury by your superfast reflexes. By the time that falling stack of crates landed where I had been standing, I was half a metre away with no idea how I got there.

I'm not aware of any clocks in my T's office, which isn't to say that there isn't any seeing as the only part of her office I ever really see is the carpet. But she's not the best at timekeeping, and we often run over. It used to really bother me because I felt like I didn't have a right to be...

This guy looks like he belongs somewhere in Asia, but I found him resting in a UK retail park.

A few days ago- a piece of art my dad made, that I thought had been lost years ago. This last week-the start of a return to self-care, which has been missing for months. This morning- not one, but two robins in the garden, hoovering up food that the starlings drop as the bigger birds plunder...

I get it, but not constantly. There are times when just clothes touching my skin hurts, not everywhere, but random patches. I haven't yet found anything that stops that, other than waiting it out. Sometimes it takes a couple of days. I also get sensory overwhelm when I'm under a lot of stress...

Film noir scene setting- lamplight glowing through fog, whilst above an almost full moon shines in a starlit sky.

Alive, by Sia. I can't believe those things about me, yet when I play the song and sing along, for those few minutes, I can.

When you watch a science documentary where they refer to being awake for 30 hours as severe sleep deprivation and you have to stop yourself from laughing.

Yes and no. I grew up in a disadvantaged area. The stuff I experienced was not the same as the kids I grew up with, but their lives were no more normal than mine. We none of us had stable home lives. At the same time the way I dealt with my stuff was completely unlike anyone else I knew, even my...

Two seperate walks on the same day last week. The early morning mist became diffused sunlight, giving a softness to everything.-

Is it absolutely necessary for you to convince her? I don't know how things are set up, but is it possible to just intercept her mail and continue weeding out those mailings? Speaking as a one-time carer of a parent with dementia I found it impossible to alter such 'faulty' thoughts without a...

Must be Christmas. Gotta love the 12 hour shifts. I came that close to a serious accident this morning because people are too lazy to put things away. Think I yanked five different muscles trying to rescue myself. To round my day off, the pharmacy screwed up my prescription, meaning I won't...

I need to return to this. I don't know why I'm finding it so hard to eat well. Even pushing myself, I've only managed to make a couple of decent meals in the last couple of months. Mostly it's yellow food- chips, bread, pastry, batter, pasta, pizza- stuff that just goes in the oven that doesn't...

I'm currently experiencing something similar. I shut it down for years and right now it's coming back to bite me. I keep thinking I'm getting somewhere with it, that I've processed at least one part of it, but then it turns out it's nowhere near done with me and there's nothing I can do but let...

To be able to experience emotions like joy for more than a fraction of a second once in a blue moon. To be able to look people in the eye, and feel like I have a right to do so. To not be haunted by the ghosts of my past. To be able to trust myself enough to have a relationship. To believe that...